I think I may have a drinking problem: Advice?

I think I may have a drinking problem. I became a mom at the age of 19(pregnant, gave birth at 20). I’ve never really had an adult life to myself. Growing up, I never wanted kids. I just wanted to work 1 or 2 jobs and have a studio apartment that I shared with a cat, but I met a man that did want kids, now we have three kids (6, 4 and 18mo) I certainly don’t feel like I was cheated out of what I thought I wanted because I adore our kids. There’s nothing in the world I would want to exchange them for. I certainly had a problem when we lived with my fil; I literally finished off his liquor cabinet in 6 months, whiskey, vodka, rum, tequila, you name it, I drank it. I became a mom before I could experience true adult life. Now that I’m a stay at home mom with quite literally no life, I like to drink a bit. It is a fraternal issue; most members of my father’s family has had an issue with alcohol or drugs. One of my uncles died from liver failure from drinking whiskey every single day. I won’t lie when I say being a 26yo mom of 3 boys is stressful, especially when I’ve only gotten out of the house once this entire year due to the current events. It’s not a daily issue, but I do feel like wanting to get drunk at 1 pm is an issue. I don’t want to justify my behavior if it’s truly bad, but in the six years I’ve been a mom, I’ve gotten away from my responsibilities only a handful of times. I cook, I clean, I homeschool (even before the pandemic started). I do feel as though I’m entitled to some sort of break every now and then. Obviously, drinking during the day isn’t an ideal break, but I’m still a good mother, if not better, if that makes sense, I’m more patient and understanding after a few drinks. I know there’s a “wine mom” stigma going around lately. But I’d like other opinions. I know some of y’all will be harsh asf, which may be warranted, and I know some of y’all will understand. It’s just some days I’d like to quit, but some days I feel I deserve a bit of a mental break, which I feel I’m provided when I drink. I don’t get sloppy drunk, I can still function, cook, clean, and the parent just fine, but with my family history, I just don’t know what to think.

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Maybe contact AA. Ps you’re not the only one going through this

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Sounds like you made a lot of sacrifices and understand the loneliness you often fee. I am not sure how much you drink but be careful because it could have damaging irreversible effects on you. Everything in moderation I suppose.

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No one thinks they have a drinking problem. Get help.

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If you think you may have a problem then you so. Seek help

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You are not a better mother when you are drinking. Please get help.

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Dancing with fire having a predisposition to alcoholism. Truthfully I feel it’s only a problem if you need a “break” every day or every other day.

Alcohol may not be making you a better mom the way you think it is. You may be needing alcohol to Not be annoyed/ easily frustrated which also indicates you may be developing a physical addiction to it…

I would cut it out and cut back to once a week and see how bad you’re craving it. You will have to be honest with yourself and how well you can control it.

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You need an outlet besides booze. With a house 3 boys and a husband you need something that is just for you. Drinking is not the answer. Hobbies, and taking some time for yourself is what you need. Maybe your husband can help with the kids more and give you a break! Raising three boys is tough!

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This speaks to me :heart: There are a lot of great fb groups geared toward sober living, I’d recommend joining a few. It can be quite inspirational to hear from people experiencing the same, and how they make it through. Good luck to you :heart:

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Maybe try removing the alcohol from your home for awhile. Take a break from it. Find an activity just for you outside of the house. Even going on a walk 20 min a day. You do need activities and things that fulfill your life besides your family. You know addiction runs in your family, so being extra cautious is a good move

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There’s also an AA chat on Discord. If you need the link I can send it to you.

I suggest you flush the stuff down the toilet. Schedule time for yourself just as if you schedule time for laundry, school, bathtime, bedtime etc. Have date night for yourself by yourself or with your husband. Life is a journey. We all have ups and downs. We have mountain and valleys to go through. The choice you have is to take is tackle the climb. If you fall, and yiu will fall. The key is to get back up. Nothing in life is easy just keep moving forward.

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I had just turned 16 and had my first child by the time I was 22 I had four I loved every minute of being a mother but then after they grew up a little bit I got a drinking alcohol also but now I’m back on the street now I love my kids and I wouldn’t give anything in the world for them good luck to you love your kids to get a go up really fast

Hi, I am going through quitting drinking, one and half months, I’m 60 yrs old, raised 2 boys who are now men 2 grands. I had been drinking for years I was what they called a functional drink
Work for35 yrs.at a large hotel 742 rooms. Retired due to foot injury. Its been4 yrs since I retired. I started during wine more and more every day. My family tried to intervene but I got mean
My family has alcohol in our blood. I got very sick twice 1st time hospital bleeding ulser, 2nd time just recently 4 24 date. Had 2 mild seizures. Scared me to death worried my family to death. It is hard but I love life , I almost lost mine twice. I found a group on face book about detoxing, I am now friends with one of the girls, she is sober13 yrs. She is helping me just by being a friend i don’t even know
All my friends party so i just call, i stay away from people and places that make me want to have fun
If you need to talk messenger me. You can do this, but you have to want to. Only you can. You got this girl. Life is stressful if i told you half my story you would pick up a drink. All you do is try. Good luck.

No parent is a good parent while having a few drinks in them. Having seeing that on your father’s side of the family, you will know first hand how alchohol abuse effects your children. Your children deserve their momma at the best she can give. Take time for you, find different ways to relax and de stress, alcohol makes it worse not better.

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You need a vacation from your life.

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First off , thank you for realizing you may be having a problem . Second . I would talk to your doctor about your family history , addictions can be genetic , also I would ask if you could start by removing the alcohol from the house . It will help lesson the temptation of wanting a drink. Lastly , I would try get some outdoor or indoor activities that you can do . Such as going for walks or even just sitting outside reading a good book or even ask the hubby to have date night with you or ask him to watch the kids while you go out for a few hours . An maybe for indoor you can attempt to put kids for a nap and then having time for yourself like watch a good tv show or even just going to have a nice hot bubble bath. Also there are plenty of Facebook groups that you could join an get their opinions on what you could do… I wish you the best of luck and just remember being a parent is hard but there are better ways to cope with things . Not saying having a few drinks is bad but their are plenty of other ways to have fun and relax . Good luck :heart:

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Who says you need to drink in your teen or adult life?
I had my first drink at 25 years old.
To me it’s not even worth it.
Is that what you want your kids growing up to see?

After being married to an addict for 13 years i see similarities here.

You can’t cope.

I feel like there is passive agressive resentment towards your husband and kids. You feel entitled to drink alcohol to be able to handle being around your kids.
Yes every mom or dad deserves time by themselves.
No they don’t deserve to drink to be able to cope while caring for the kids.
That is different than having a drink with a meal like billions of people do.

Justifying it with “I’m a better parent” totally screams addiction.

Yes a parent does better at their job when they get chances by themselves to recharge their battery.
No they are not doing a better job by relying on the influence of alcohol or a drug to be calm.

Just my 2 cents

If you think you have a problem you do! It’s not easy taking care of a family especially when you don’t have time for your self! My advise don’t beat yourself up contact a support group and get out once in awhile! Do you like crafts? Join a craft group! Anything you enjoy you deserve a life outside of your children! Will pray for you!