I think I need to cut my kids father out of their lives: What do I do?

I am a young mother of two, I do everything by myself financially and physically, don’t get me wrong I have a great support system from my family but I don’t get any free handouts which I don’t expect to, my children’s father doesn’t pay child support for either child and I don’t want or need his money and I’m not going to force him to pay but he also only wants to see the children when it’s convenient for him, sometimes I won’t hear from him for 2 months at a time or longer and he contacts me via text message and asks if he can stop by and see them which I say no because I feel like if he wants to see his children he could see them for more than five minutes every 2 months but when I do get them he calls me not even 3 hours later to come to get them both because he can’t handle it, and I won’t hear from again until he wants to feel like a father I guess, my question is would I be wrong for blocking his number and letting him have no contact with my kids anymore? I don’t want to take their father away from them, but I also don’t want them in an unstable, wishy-washy environment/ relationship, I know it would hurt them the older they got because right now they can’t comprehend it all. Thank you!

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Wow that’s parental alienation.

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I did it. No regrets. Hes 17,000 in arrears. If you go to court to get custody, he will either fight for them or not. Let the judge decide. It takes more than money or talk to be a parent. Do what’s best for them, you are there to advocate for them until they can for themselves. He will show his true colors when all is said and done. Just stay the course, and go by the book. You can’t lose. :heart: hugs. Go with ur gut.

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Get child support, they’re his kids too, you should make him accountable for his own children, they deserve it.

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They will always need their father. Understand that if you become the reason they can not see him then you have to bear the weight of this decision.

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My biological father was the same way when my sister and I were little (he was also on drugs and a woman beater). My mom made the decision to stop letting him come and go once or twice every year because we’d cry for weeks at a time after his short visit and it was harder on us with it being so random and short. I met him again for the first time when I was 15 and made the decision to walk away after a few months then tried to let him be a part of my life again when I was 21 and had my own child and I learned the hard way again why he is a shitty person and why my mom was right for cutting ties with him when she did. Go with your gut and don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong for whatever you decide to do.

Go to court. Get an agreement for visitation and then document when he doesn’t show or call. Without documentation like a journal or calendar it may not hold as much water. I would give it one final “on paper” try and then when he likely won’t show up you’ll have adequate reason to terminate visits. Protect yourself and them. PS he will end up paying child support if you go to court.

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U can’t force child support & emotional support…even legally …unless u have a good lawyer

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  1. Take him for child support. You may not need it, but they do. Put it in an account for them for school. Or for them to use when they get their first car or first apartment, etc. They will thank you for that. 2) I’d advise against cutting him out, but perhaps suggest a modification. Maybe some scheduled, court ordered visitation that would be consistent, for you to schedule anyway. Say, one day a month, for example. You would know that particular day they are supposed to go with their father so you don’t make plans with them. If he takes them awesome! If not, you’d be prepared for that too, but it would eliminate his unscheduled ‘once in a while’ visits. They (the kids) will understand, much sooner than you think) exactly what he is and is not. You will have to explain nothing. Be kind about him while they’re around. They will not forget that. It’s hard, I know first hand, but your children will thank you for being the stable one. And they will thank you more for not cutting their father down, or taking the choice of whether or not to see him away from them.
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Just do the best thing.Go after him for child support .Then encourage him to have relationships with the kids.Bottom line.The children do suffer from lack of parental support and financial support.

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Yes a child always needs a father but he is being a sperm donor, not a father.

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Wow u are a good mum ur kids will appreciate u later

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So you say no to him when he wants to see them and then moan that he never sees them…

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Tell him flat out that the in and out needs to stop. He needs to be consistent. He can start by scheduling a phone call/facetime once a week. After that, y’all can meet at a park or wherever is agreed upon, point is, he needs to be there not just when it’s convenient for him!!! Don’t block him because that can be used against you

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Depending on the state you living in, that could be possibly illegal for you to block any access to the kids unless court ordered. You need to speak with a lawyer and have custody/child support established.

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Do not be the reason he can’t see his kids, because 1 day your kids will be old enough to know the truth. Go for child support and set up visitation.

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Go to court, get the child support. It can be placed in a saving account for the kids. Have it legally set out when he is to see the kids, and keep documents on when he misses visits. I wouldn’t just block him, you dont want the kids to one day look at you as the reason they didnt see their father. If he calls to see the kids, I don’t get why you wouldn’t allow it. Maybe talk to him about scheduled visits. Plan ahead of time. That way you can be more prepared for him to show up.

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Wait? You say no when he asks to see them, but then complain and say he doesn’t see them :thinking: Get everything on paper, court ordered visitation, and if he doesn’t commit to those, then go through court system for abandonment…do it legally

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Way better he’s out of the picture completely then the opposite

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You say you don’t need his money? That money is for you children, not you. It is your obligation to go after that child support.

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