I think my boyfriend might be gay: Thoughts?

Anonymous, please. I’m worried my boyfriend might be gay and is trying to hide it from myself and his family. We’ve been together a year, and in the beginning, the sex was great and frequent, but now it’s like it’s just a performance. Quick to the point, and his expressions and reactions are dramatic and very obviously exaggerated. Sometimes he goes completely soft right in the middle or says he’s finished when I know he didn’t. He keeps his eyes closed most of the time and I’ve even caught him watching tv during our lovemaking. He makes jokes all the time about being gay. He is often late getting home from work and showers immediately. Sometimes before even greeting me. I feel so crazy all the time and I don’t know what to do about it.

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Talk to him.
There’s nothing we could provide.
Be delicate and supportive, if he is. It seems you’ve accepted it and let him know just that.

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Try to talk to him.
Usually you’ll see signs. I was with a man for 9 years before I realized I was into women.

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Talk to him about it. Definitely approach it cautiously. I dated a guy who was, but he was in complete denial. It didn’t work out with us bc I knew I was a cover up. And I knew it was going to end bad. But ultimately the relationships future depends on how you feel about it.

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Makes tacos and burritos for dinner, and see what he picks :smirk:

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He’s cheating in some fashion, so talk to him.

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This is heartbreaking, but remember you are beautiful! What is happening is not your fault. And thank God it’s only been a year! This will scar you but you are stronger then you think. Best wishes :sparkles::purple_heart::sparkles:

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Tell him you want to put a dildo in his ass if the answer yes just start packing

Your hunch is probably correct

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Talk to him and show him you will support him… he may even become your gay best friend if you both can handle this maturely and you are accepting of him

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I don’t know if he’s gay, but it definitely sounds like he’s cheating.

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Girl ask him… idk why folks is scared to communicate anymore.

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I married a bisexual man. It lasted 5 months :joy:. I look back on it and wonder what the hell I was thinking!

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I point out all the time that my man is obviously into certain other men
I support him in his choice

My feelings is can look but no touch
And loyalty and staying is a choice

If he is gay, he’s gay, but being a cheater is a whole different thing. I would confront him if you really think he is out doing the deed elsewhere. Man or woman, you could catch something.

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He may not be gay but it does sound like some sort of cheating is going on. Try talking to him and tell him how you feel. Best of luck

maybe hes bi, weve been married 12yrs
me and my husband are both bi and theres nothing at all wrong with it​:heart::heart: just talk to him about it without judgemet

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Tell him that’s nothing to joke about and ask him if he is. What man jokes about being gay???

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He might be in denial about it and there is nothing wrong with that…I was with guys and then a girl in a high-school for 8 years and now been with the love of my life for almost 6 years! Just talk to him and let him know there’s no judgement and it is perfectly okay being who he is and not to feel like he has to hide it!

He might not be gay. He’s probably just into someone else. You said in the beginning the sex was great and frequent. Maybe he found another female and is having great and frequent sex with her. In any event you might want to investigate closer. Buy a butt plug/dildo and see if he lets you put it in his back door. If he does you could be right🤷🏽‍♀️

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Sounds suspect to me…

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Sounds like he’s cheating

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Maybe he’s just not that into you anymore :woman_shrugging:t2: that doesn’t mean he’s gay

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Trust your gut and if you do continue to have sex use protection!

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He might not be gay… He might have a side chick and might not be in love with you or maybe he lost his attraction to you… Either way, COMMUNICATE with him…

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Sounds like you need to talk to HIM about it.

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If you feel it there is definitely a chance. I SWEAR my ex is at least bi if not gay. I was with him for 6 years and 5 years I constantly questioned it. the 6th year…:rofl: I met my an amazing man… introduced him to my then fiance… and what do you know, my ex was asking this dude to let him fuck him n do oral n such​:rofl::rofl::rofl: this amazing guy thank god is not gay and said hell fucking no to him​:see_no_evil::rofl::see_no_evil::rofl::skull: so you really just may never know. me ex hates guys so I truly feel that’s why he forces to like girls but uh what do I know​:sweat_smile::skull:

Regardless, He’s cheating…

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Get a strap on and see what he says about it I’ll def be able to tell then

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Time to move on to someone who treats you right

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He’s definitely cheating.

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Your intuition is nothing to ignore. Ask him if he’s cheating. If yes, then ask him if it’s with a man or woman. And unless he works at a hospital or construction…no man is showering that enthusiastically!!

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Just say quick lying to yourself and I. And walk away.

He might not be gay but he maybe cheating…

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I kept waking up to my baby daddy watching gay shows on Netflix’s :smile: and he hardly never wanted to have sex, we was together a year. We slept together every night but only had sex once every 2 weeks idek how I got prego :smile::woman_facepalming: then he left and went to texas one day when I was 6 ms prego, without a goodbye or anything. I swear hes gay but hes with another really ugly woman so idk I think he just likes to use women to cook for him but he secretly likes men.

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If he was gay there would’ve been no great sex in the beginning…

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Testing… testing… testing…

Talk to him. Either he’s gay and doesn’t know how to come out and tell you or he’s cheating and could be making gay jokes to cover his tracks ?? Talk to him. I hope you get some answers

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You aren’t crazy your intuition is telling you something. My first thought was cheating… unfortunately.

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I would talk to him. Try to put feelings of betrayal aside- because at the end of the day you already feel betrayed and hearing it out loud will at least give closure.

Give him a chance for an easy out.
No straight guy is going to take being accused of being gay very well… so maybe just focus on some of the other red flags and see what comes out.
Good luck

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Could be a medical issue or possibly cheating

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Sounds like he isn’t attracted to you && potentially cheating. Even a cheating man can still lay it down with the girl at home unless there is an issue there.

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IF HE WAS GAY I doubt the sex would have been great in the beginning. He might just be cheating… but those are definitely signs of a cheater. Time. To. Get. Out.

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So…if I look away during sex and fake orgasms…I’m gay?? Well…looks like I’m coming on out the closet! Lol

He’s just not into you

Cheating definitely id catch him before he showers and smell him i may be crazy but id do it fs

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Either gay, bi, cheating or lost interest in you. I would straight out ask him. If you don’t then nothing will be resolved and you will continue to go crazy and be unhappy.

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Bi probably…he’s got an itch yu cant scratch…sucks but it happens :confused: try to talk about it …

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Flip the water heater breaker and when he comes home act surprised there is no hot water . Run it out so it’s cold, he wint be able to shower then check it out .

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Maybe he has some mental things going on. A struggling mindset can definitely affect the erection, can cause someone to make jokes in lieu of facing the seriousness within their head, and to withdrawal from people (showering immediately for a few minutes of peace after getting home from a long day at work). Also, if he’s stressed, he could be taking the long way home to find those extra few minutes by himself. Trust me, I’ve done exactly the same stuff and I’m happily married; just battled some mental things at the time.

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This happened to me once, in highschool. I liked this guy so hard, I thought he liked me a lot to. We dated for a few months, then one day. We’re at his house, hanging in his room. He jumped on his bed and the mattress showed a bit of the box spring. Right there in a neat little pile, were three male porn magazines. We just stared at each other once I saw them. I said “so I’m a beard huh?” And after that we were pretty alright friends. Just talk to him, if he can’t be truthful, just leave.

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Trust your gut but it could be anything from his mental health being not great all the way to not being interested/cheating … do you have any other suspicions being in a long term relationship it’s not alwais passion etc … he maybe just as stressed with it as you are x

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Why are you together?? Your gut is rarely wrong a friend of mine found out her hubby was sleeping with men he gave the whole I’m not gay bullshit speech that hes bi regardless the puke could have told her this before marrying her .She left him hes still going around like a dog in heat sticking it in anything with a pulse shes well rid and now noone wants him …KARMA

Speak to him, that is the only way . Ask him what is going on. No use staying feeling this way , for the both of you

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Not to be rude! But I have dealt with something kinda like this! And maybe he is cheating and no longer feels attracted to you anymore! So he goes a has sex with someone else female or male and comes home an pleases or try’s to please you but doesn’t feel the connection no more so he does what he can. Also may feel guilty and doesn’t wanna or no how to break it off!

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I can relate to this so much it’s almost as if I wrote it myself… we’re not together anymore but we do have a child together. Get out before it’s too late…

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Man or woman, he’s cheating. If he HAS to shower before greeting you, its to wash away his shame. It’s only been a year…I wouldn’t invest anymore of my time if I were you.

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There definitely needs to be some sort of conversation with him. Maybe just ask if he’s cheating on you, and it will all come out. 🤷

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I’ve gotten to the point if I’ve got to question a relationship, even if I ever had one such as this, I take it as a sign, and I would be outta of there. Time is precious. I don’t want to waste my time on anyone. I certainly don’t want anyone making me wonder, with me always questioning, why, why, why? I’ve had 2 successful marriages, but I loss my husband’s. One in 93 and the other in 2010. There wasn’t a day they made me wonder and question anything whatsoever. You only live once. If you wanna waste time with someone, I would hope it would be with someone to make you happy, and not with someone that always makes you question why this or that. For the record, you may want to ask him or investigate it. If it continues, I’d pack my bags and be on my way or have him pack his if he lives with you.

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Don’t even worry about whether he is or isn’t. Just leave. He’s obviously not interested and it sounds like u suspect he’s doing something behind your back. Just let that shit go girl.

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Maybe he’s not gay but is cheating and feels as though he needs to still keep you “happy” so he still performs but isn’t performing as he used to because he may be uninterested :woman_shrugging:t3:

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RUN RUN RUN do not walk to the closest door and don’t look back. You will be miserable. Move or if it’s your place ask him to move . Trust me on this one. Been there done that.

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Speaking from experience it will only get worse if you stay and especially if you marry. Men don’t change. They may talk a good game but he is really showing you his true colors.

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If it feels like something is off—it is. Something is wrong. You’re not crazy. You’re intuition is trying to tell you something isn’t right. Listen.

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Been here & done that to an extent! He would come home, strip down, put the clothes in the washer, start the washer, go right past me to take a shower with gum in his mouth. He cheated left and right! He passed away unfortunately while we were married, but when he did and i got his phone from the funeral home, it was full of all kinds of messages from other women including the day he passed away.

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You’re not married
Cut your losses and move on
Even if he’s not, you obviously lack sexual chemistry

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Not sure if he’s gay, but the shower thing… he’s either cheating, working construction, or washing possible covid germs off when he gets home. Whatever the reason that still leaves issues in your relationship. Have an honest talk. If you can’t have that, maybe this is not the right relationship for you.

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sometimes though when there are other problems money job emotional mental health physical health issues there are other things that will make a man actually not want to have sex. I know it sounds crazy but they have feelings too and the last thing that’s on their mind is having sex when they are having a hard time with something else in their life ask him how he’s feeling how he is doing. I know what’s happening to because it happened to me and I wasn’t being cheated on my husband was stressed out about money and being able to provide for us and our family and his job wasn’t going well his mental health wasn’t going well. Have you told him before that he is acting gay because maybe he’s like oh and I was just a f****** joke. Men are really insecure about these sorts of things so maybe try coming on softly first.

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From experience. Follow your instincts.
Run for it!

catfishing is a thing (last resort type of thing) but not recommended.

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I mean, he could just be regular cheating. He could have low testosterone. He could be gay. He could be just not that into you… One thing is for sure. Something ain’t right. Talk to him!!!

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You won’t know unless you have that conversation. It may be uncomfortable but put your big girl panties on and ask the questions. You may be surprised by the answers you get. If your gut is telling you something, ask. Knowledge is power. Use it.

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If you think something is wrong, usually a girl knows her intuition, then snoop on his phone. I am not one to snoop and I have never done so in my 6 year long relationship, but in my past relationships I have and I was dead on correct. If you talk to him with guessing, he probably won’t come clean. I mean you can still try first. And if you do not get anywhere then scoop on his phone. Or better yet, ask for his phone. If you don’t think he will give the phone to you then just get on it when he ain’t paying attention.

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it sounds more like hes just not interested anymore than gay.
.he could be but it just sounds like hes over the relationship…

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Doesn’t matter if he’s gay or not. Don’t waste anymore time on him

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The fact he keeps making jokes u have to be worried that’s it is possible. You don’t need to be unhappy or stressed sexually because of this man, follow ur mind n not ur heart this time cz he’s either cheating or lost feelings for u sexually which man watched tv while making love to his woman! Grab the bull by the horn hun and ask him what’s happening do not hide ur feelings let him know ur no comfortable lately with what is happening in the bedroom…Who me, I so refuse to be stressed like that ever again! If it’s a medical issued yes give n take but he’s straight up selfish and not showing you enough love n affection in the bedroom telling u he’s finished when he’s not​:eyes::eyes::eyes::eyes:kmt he’s playing some really heartless games here .

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Nothing makes a a relationship better than communication… ask and explain your concerns and acknowledge support - of that’s something your willing to offer. He may be better off as a friend is he is

Girl, run…if its not another guy, it may be another chick…that gut feeling you may have is always right :frowning: you deserve better…

I would talk to him, let him know you feel his being distant and less affectionate. Ask him whether anything is wrong.

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Probably cheating, and is secretly gay. :woman_shrugging: just talk to him and ask him what is going on. If he brushes it off or changes the subject, bring it back up and ask him if he’s cheating. If he denies it ask him if he’s recently been experimenting with other men. :woman_shrugging: some guys don’t think its being gay if they do it with another man every once in a while… yah I don’t get it either.
But yeah ask him if he is or why he keeps faking it in bed.

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It’s not uncommon for men and women to pretend to be straight. Go with your gut. I’d be willing to bet you’re right.

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Idk about gay but sometimes men get erectile disfunction and are to embarrassed by it. It could be medical problem but its treatable. Otherwise a conversation as 2 adults in a serious relationship needs to happen

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Broom him, he’s cheating, man or woman, has getting it elsewhere.

He may not necessarily be gay, but it does sound like he’s cheating and losing interest in you. I would just have a conversation with him.

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Maybe or he may be interested in another female either way doll you need to have a discussion about this.

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Sounds more like he is cheating. I’d almost bet on it.

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If you feel like something is wrong it most likely is. Go with your gut.

I don’t understand what any of that indicates he’s gay

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Just leave it’s obvious he is not interested it will get worse and it not worth waistline your time I say RUN

Sounds like he has someone on the side

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Your instincts are correct you are without a doubt…not crazy

Doesn’t sound like he is gay sounds like he is cheating all the tell tell signs are there for cheating and him joking about being gay is a coop so he doesn’t get caught cheating

Pack up and leave sweetie! If he’s not cheating with a man its someone.

Break up with him.
Have a discussion, not an argument and let him sort himself out.

I don’t think his behavior says he might be gay but buy some toys and use them in him see how he reacts or just ask him

Exactly besides the other stuff taking a shower immediately when coming home. I would have already definitely asked him something

I honestly dated a guy who was bi sexual and kept it from me and his family! He did almost the same things with me during intercourse,would go for awhile and never finish or go soft or semi soft and be done. And watched tons of porn and gay porn or chicks w/d&ckz

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Not you…he is definitely doing someone…

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Gay or not. He is not into you anymore. Sorry if that is harsh. I am sure you deserve way more. Your gut is telling you the truth or else you wouldn’t be here asking. Listen to it. :heart:

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Bring it up to him in the most nonjudgmental way

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Sounds like cheating. Maybe a man but probably another woman.
Stay observant!