I want a wedding but my fiance doesn't: Advice?

Red flag I picked up on was u say married for 9 years… so I’m assuming u living together… but u also said HE has saved a lot of money… I my marriage if my husband save money then I am too… what is his is mine… what is mine is his… Do u not keep your money together? If not then if he doesn’t feel he has the money and u are the one wanting the wedding u pay for everything

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I don’t see what’s the problem in planning something yourself and telling him this is what you’re doing even as a nice gesture to spend time together.

I just want a wedding dress lol forget all that other craziness lol even the license I don’t care I just want a pretty fancy white or off white dress to wear for a whole day

Go to the courthouse, get married. Afterwards ask him one more time, and if he still says no, go do your own thing. Invite a friend along to celebrate with you or a family member.

You did it once. Kinda your fault. He didn’t want to do it the 1st time

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Don’t force it if I get married its known q courthouse or a chapel and than pay for a reception. Period.

You deserve a celebration. He should want to celebrate that y’all got married!

It was the opposite for us. We got married at the courthouse with two friends and I was fine with that but he wanted to have an actual wedding. So little over 6mo later we had an actual wedding with all of our friends and family and I did it because it made him happy!

You sure you want to be married to him? :woman_shrugging:

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Me and my husband went to the court house got married and 2 days later he left to go back on the truck and we have married 11 years not everyone is comfortable with a weeding

easy - marry yourself

I mean leave. If he’s trying not to acknowledge the existence of the marriage then he doesn’t really want it.

Have you thought maybe he’s saved his money for something else ? If he didn’t want a wedding then and doesn’t want one now why force it ? Why don’t you just celebrate with your girlfriends and have another hens night or something

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Uhm. This sounds like there is underlying issues.

“Let me tell u; this man has saved a goooood amount of money, so that’s not the problem. Am I selfish or overreacting?”

So HE has saved. What about you? Have/are you contributing.

I had absolutely no desire to spend 10k on a wedding. I booked a flight to Vegas. We flew out on Friday, got married on Saturday, and flew back on Sunday. I went to the social security office and the DMV before work Monday morning.

Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about the wedding. After being with someone that long, it’s just a piece of paper. We didn’t have a wedding. There wasn’t even a proposal. We just made the decision, together, as adults. I told my husband that I would marry him wearing a trash bag, under a bridge. We got married at the courthouse because it’s not about the rings or the dress or the party. It’s about the marriage. Ask for a compromise. You want the wedding and he doesn’t. Tell him that you will drop the subject of a wedding if he compromises and agrees to a honeymoon. Then you can have your weekend away, in the middle of no where, just the two of you.

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Surprise him with a weekend getaway. Sometimes we have to take the lead if we want something :woman_shrugging:

Do something free. Or you offer to pay for it. Just because he has money saved doesn’t mean he wants to burn through it. Personally, I have money saved and I’m in bed crying as I type this because I have to spend 2k on plumming problems. It’s so hard to save so when you have to use that, it hurts. If it doesn’t matter to him but it does to you, you pay.