I want more children and my husband doesn't: Advice?

I have three children and would really like a 4th; however, my partner doesn’t want anymore, but he knows I’ve always wanted 4. Has anyone else been in this position and ended up having a 4th, Or will I have to get used to only having 3? I really do want to take his feelings into account, but it has always been my dream, so I feel quite crushed myself.


If you have nieces/nephews in town you can always sorta adopt em
Lol cousins get to play you claim “custody” of them every so often for a weekend. (Hopefully they do the same for ya to give you a bit of break now and again too) :wink:.
Then you can say look hun it’s like we have 4… but we get to give this one back after a weekend

How about enjoy the 3 you have and call it a day. This world is overpopulated as it is.


Think you should just not do it. Be happy with the 3 you have. You gotta respect his wishes too


It is hard.I only had sons cuz my husband said no to trying a third.I always look back w wishes.But then I count the times I was glad we had more than enough to care for them.If we had more it would of been harder.

Take his mental health into consideration other then your dreams.

Why should having more be a problem? Have you shared your feelings with him and why you want more? I say if you are meant to have more it will happen.

If he always knew you wanted 4 then this should not be a shock to him :woman_shrugging:t3:
I personally have 4 myself 14,13, 4 & 2 my husband didn’t want anymore after I had 2 miscarriages and then poof here came my almost 5yo :joy::joy:

Adopt an older child.

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Kids are expensive. Is he worried about finances?

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is he the sole provider?? maybe he wants to start thinking about future plans and savings for some of his dreams?

That’s a bummer. Ya it probably stings a little but you don’t want to force him to have another. It won’t be the same after that.

That’s why u have a conversation about this kind of stuff before you get married.

It depends on his reasons. Maybe he’s ready to move on to the next chapter of your life raising the 3 you have. Can you afford it? Do you both work? You don’t give much info.

Well, the thing is, you kinda just gotta “get used” to just having 3 if he doesn’t want another one unless you’re gonna leave him to have a kid with a random :man_shrugging:t3:


Have one of you want. Just be prepared when he is checked out

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If you really want a fourth, there are ways to have one that don’t require a husbands participation. You can use an anonymous sperm donor and fertility clinic. Just be prepared for him to not be supportive. Otherwise, if he doesn’t more and you don’t want to go alternative routes then you may have to get use to only having three.


That’s the stuff you talk about right before you get married. If he knew you were set on having four kids and he agreed to it then he’s an ass for changing his mind. But if you guys never actually agreed on a set amount that you were going to have then you can’t really get mad at him for that. But either way your probably not going to get another kid out of him unless he changes his mind in the future. Don’t complain to him because he won’t do it though. That’s not going to help your relationship one bit.

You may have to get use to having three.

We both went back and forth on if we wanted baby number 4. So, we made a pros and cons list. The cons list had a lot of great points on there, like not sleeping :sweat_smile: but ultimately we decided that we did want to try for number 4. Now, we’re expecting 4 & 5 :laughing: Anyway, I said all of that to say, maybe make a list and go from there but if he still doesn’t want to, you have to respect that and learn how to move forward.