I want to get married but it's only talk at this point: Advice?

Hey, mommies… I need such advice. I’m 23, and my bf is 29. We are dating for five years, but I’ve known him for easily 15 years now. I’ve always wanted to marry him since I knew I had feelings for him. When we were dating for about six months, we already spoke about marriage. 4.6 years later, it’s all just talk. We have a two-year-old son together, and we are both committed. He says he wants to get married but wants to be financially stable, which I get, but I can’t help but wanna be his wife now. I really love him and don’t want to leave him, but I don’t want to be the girlfriend forever. Am I unreasonable?

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There’s a reason he’s pushing it off. If you’ve been together that long and have a child together, there’s something going on.

Edited to add: Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Including myself. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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Nope you’re not. Your feelings are valid. See if he will elope?

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No you’re not. He wanted to have a baby with you before being “financially” stable. I’d tell him lay down your life and marry me now or I’m gone

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It’s essentially up to him, not you! (I mean unless you want to ask him) Just be happy with what you have, it will happen when it’s supposed to happen!

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If he says he’s committed & wants to get married, then don’t force it. He will end up proposing just because of the pressure he’s feeling from you. How about suggesting a savings pot so you can put money in each month? That way he may feel better about the financial situation xx

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No ur not unreasonable. Sounds like he’s making an excuse not to get married. If u weren’t financially secure when u had a kid what difference does it make when getting married?

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Go to city hall and get it down.

He has given you a very logical explanation for waiting in my opinion I didn’t want to get married for the same reason and a lot of things have happened since like my son and I lost our medical insurance once I got married. I don’t think changing my name was worth that loss personally because that is all getting married changed here. I’d ask him more about his financial concerns and try to understand them a bit, I wouldn’t push it or force it on him if it were me but I’ve been in his position myself.

Being financially stable is bullshittttttt. If that’s the case he’ll never be ready. It costs like 60 bucks to get married at courthouse. So yeah.

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Marriage isnt for everyone, I know people who have been together 15 years and have 3 kids together and marriage isnt on there mind. They are happy and love each other and that’s what matters. Its sad that you think you need to marry him to carry on in life. If he didnt want to be with you he would have left by now.

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I would tell him you aren’t going to wait around forever. Tell him exactly what you want in the relationship and if that’s not what he wants then you need to move on

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You’ll nevvvvver be financially stable enough to make it a goal to reach before committing to a wedding.
You’re already living the married life so this isn’t about that, this is about a wedding. You can go to the courthouse and sign some paperwork and be married. So why wait for something that is never going to happen, especially with a child!
Ask him what his financial goals are in order for him to consider himself financially stable.
Then consider how realistic those goals are and why they interfere with the paperwork behind the relationship

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Are we ever “financially stable”, I mean what is the definition. Can we ever afford to have a baby??

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I told my now husband I wasnt living my life as a girlfriend. We’ve been married over 5 years now. I didnt get an actual proposal which sucks.

I mean, you are basically married already. I’ve been with my guy for four years & we’ve talked about marriage, but I don’t expect it overnight, lol. Wedding planning sounds stressful

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Your not unreasonable

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23 with a 2 year old with your boyfriend. Good luck with that. “Committed” means married…so …

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I don’t think it’s too long my husband and I dated 7yrs b4 we got married only because it was my 1st marriage his 2nd so wanted to name sure it was something I wanted to do we to had a child we’ve been together 27 yrs and married for 20 but not everyone is the same but I don’t think he’s making excuses

Girl, why you have that baby without a ring, a date, and a venue deposit down?? That was your bargaining chip and its’s gone. Ask Steve Harvey. Dude is 29. No one with a kid is financially stable. Costs more for pull ups than it does to go to the JOP. So that’s some shit he’s shoveling. Problem is, you’re letting him… so… why should he stop? lol