I was cheated on in my past: How can I move on and trust my current boyfriend?

I need help… in my past, I’ve been cheated on. I was cheated on by my daughter’s dad, which really hurt and made me insecure and makes me a snoopy and nosey person… I hate it… I check my boyfriend’s phone sometimes he’s never done anything to betray my trust, but I’m so scared of getting hurt again… with my ex, the cheating was out of nowhere everything was going good for us… then bam he cheats I’m just scared it will happen again it sucks… I don’t want to feel this way; I want to be able just to trust him and not snoop on his phone… I really hate snooping, but my brain makes me want to do it any advice on how to just let my heart go all to him without being scared that he might be doing something…I need help… in my past I’ve been cheated on. I was cheated on by my daughter’s dad, who really hurt and made me insecure and makes me a snoopy and nosey person… I hate it… I check my boyfriend’s phone sometimes he’s never done anything to betray my trust, but I’m so scared of getting hurt again… with my ex, the cheating was out of nowhere everything was going good for us… then bam he cheats I’m just scared it will happen again it sucks… I don’t want to feel this way; I want to be able just to trust him and not snoop on his phone… I really hate snooping, but my brain makes me want to do it any advice on how to just let my heart go all to him without being scared that he might be doing something…

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See a counselor. You’re dealing with some trauma that you need to handle.
Does your boyfriend know you do this? This definitely sounds like a situation that you should have handled prior to getting into a new relationship, but since you didn’t it’s important to let the new boyfriend know what’s going on.

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Honestly therapy is the only way I got through it you need to know your self worth again love yourself to truely trust someone else again to get close to you

Your reactions are common and will take time and effort to change, if you want to truly change them. Have you thought about therapy? It will help, there is nothing wrong with seeking help to move past the trauma you endured. You are already on the right path to moving on by being aware of your behaviors

Girl, I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’d have a sit down with current boyfriend and just make him aware that you’ve been cheated on and your concerns, if you have any. Open communication is key. Make him aware that you’re still healing. Try to put your trust back in yourself and your new boyfriend. Constantly checking up on him looks like you have no trust in him which can cause a break up but that’s just my view. Just talk to him and tell him what’s going through your head. Try to learn from your past and forgive so you can move on to better things. Best of luck mama! :purple_heart:

Does he know you were cheated on in the past? Hopefully he will cut you some slack. I know what your feeling

Communicate to him how you feel let him know about the past if he doesn’t already know its hard to trust people after something like that I know because it happened to me the man I’m with now if so sweet and caring and I at the beginning of our relationship sat him down and let him know about my past so everything was out and open told him it would be hard for me to trust easily and we have been together for 5 and 1/2 years he reassures me everyday that I’m the only one he wants and he would never hurt me

Doesnt sound like you are ready to handle a relationship. You need time to heal. Let him go.

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Following. Great question which many can relate!!!

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Counselling and/or therapy is really helpful! Even couples counselling just so you both have a good understanding of your feelings so you can both work together

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Open communication and being honest with your boyfriend is the best…yes i agree therapy will help you hun

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Bam and go to seek a doctor, you need help and nobody on here is a counselor or doctor.

I do the same as I have abandonment issues from being left with zero word or warning

My ex husband cheated on me for over 15 yrs. I was dumb and trusting. After my divorce I spent 4 years single and working on myself. I met my husband almost 4 years ago. We’ve been married a year. He is not my ex.

Your boyfriend isn’t YOUR ex. You will lose him if you continue snooping. He’s not the issue. You are. Get help

You should talk to him about how your feeling, communicating is key seriously. Don’t be crazy about it though just think before you speak.

You don’t know a good man from
A bad man that sad

I got through mine with time

Let me just say… He is NOT your ex. Trust him or let him go, you need to work on you and your feelings.

You have to let the past go. Otherwise it will ruin any future you have with your current boyfriend.

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It takes time. But usually a woman will know the signs the next time. Eyes and ears open. At least in my experience I did. Don’t invade his phone though. Do talk to him though about your past experience. IF he is going to cheat though he doesn’t need to use his phone. We didn’t have cell phones when my husband did.