Hello, I’m currently 2 months postpartum. Recently I have been feeling like my boyfriend has lost interest in me. I have this bad feeling that he could be talking to other girls. I just can’t get this feeling to go away. Things aren’t the same anymore. He comes home and goes straight to our bedroom, he doesn’t spend time with me or our son, and recently developed a short temper with me. Could this be a form of postpartum ? Could I just be over thinking ? What should I do…
Sounds like he’s into other things. I would ask him what’s up. Check his phone if you can. Porn addiction is a thing and along with that comes hook up sites! I know from my own personal experiences. I’ve been pregnant 3x and my husband was distant everytime and messaging other women behind my back on his fb. If this is what he’s doing, believe me…it doesn’t stop! He only gets sneakier!
I’m 2 months postpartum also and feel the same exact way! I understand pregnancy changes our bodies and having a baby in the house now changes having a lot of time. But he spends a little time with our son. I don’t really think we can get over this feeling unless they prove or show different actions!
Dads can go through postpartum too, but it is much less talked about. Be sincere and ask how he is feeling before making assumptions and attacking
He could be just stressed out or overwhelmed.
Talk to him about it. Communication. Post partum depression is difficult for you and everyone around you. Just talk to him. Calmly.
I found that a lot of males think differently once baby is born, I felt that once you become a mother they don’t see you as “the love of his life “ but seeing you as a mum… so in a way they are pining for the girlfriend they once had… some guys will start looking at other girls to feel more Wanted I think that’s what I mean …
Ask him, don’t forget that he is in the relationship too, he may be worried about how he’s going to provide for his family.
If he is looking at other women, simply just ask why, what is he not getting that he needs?
Men have needs as well & That doesn’t go away because a baby is brought into the picture.
2 wks after having my son prematurely, my husband begged to get some relief too. I was so concentrated on our son getting out of nicu that I had forgotten about him all together.
Communication is the survival of any relationship. It may feel like he’s lost interest, but maybe that’s how he feels now because your time is taken up with caring for your guys child.
A date night may help too!
I hope this helps and you can figure out what’s going on love.
It sound like same thing gose to my frist and second thier daddies are like that…how I found out just go on his Facebook go on sreaching put his name an likes or post by gose his name too it will show up show you what hes up to all of it that’s how I find out and dumped on my two baby daddy and gone lol:walking_woman:
Please please please do not go snooping through his stuff? Everything changes after having a baby, it’s not something that only mom’s get to experience. Try talking to him and if you have and it hasn’t worked, try suggesting counseling. But it’s normal for father’s to experience things like this. A baby is a big life change. Snooping is just going to make it all worse and you’ll be the bad guy.
I love how snooping vs having a conversation is a woman’s first thought now. Maybe some of you need to re-evaluate your own relationships or marriages
Daddy can have a postpartum too.
Communicate with him. Stop assuming you will drive yourself insane. Maybe he’s the one feeling left out and abandoned.
Tell him how you feel, without accusing him or attacking him. Avoid using the word “you”. So instead of saying “You’ve been acting strangely and making me feel like you’re talking to orger girls and like you’re no longer interested in your son and I”, try something like “I’ve been worried about you and our relationship lately. I know that having a baby has been a big change for you just as much as it had been for me and I want us to be there for each other. Since I’ve had the baby I’ve felt a little lonely. Is everything alright? Can we spend some time together tonight?”
Possibly he’s feeling left out. Not needed. Not loved. All of your attention is on the baby right now. Maybe you can show him in little ways he’s still your man. Guys get jelous too.
Once the baby comes your relationship changes. Guess whos need arent your first concern anymore. And guess who wants more attention. Hint . Its not your kid ! Some men just dont bond and cant stand not haveing kids. I hope hes not one of these insecure men. Sorry
Communication is key!!
Before making any accusations against him. Ask him to sit down and talk with you while that precious little one is napping. Figure out ways you two can still hangout and have fun. My husband and I use to put our little one in her rocker swing in the kitchen while we made dinner and listened to music and just had fun. Little things go a far way after birth in my opinion. I hope things get better for you guys!
Dads can be stressed too mama but just in case you can keep an eye out for red flags
He’s probably stressed out! It’s a lot for him as well, I’d sit down and talk to him… But trust your gut as well, you could be overwhelmed so maybe you just feel that he is cheating but I’d do some digging if it will make you feel better
Talk to him. Be super alm and be respectful of what he says. Listen to him. Ask him how he is feeling. Guys get depressed and stuff too. They sometimes get weird after baby is born. It’s a real thing that most people never think about. If he goes in the room, put baby down, and go in there. Give him a kiss. Say nothing. When he comes out, ask if he wants a drink (like water or something… a coffee…a tea)…and when u hand it to him, sit down, and look at him and say " how are u doing babe? I know I’m having some post partum moments, but I want to check in with you…see how your feeling and how your doing".
Communicate with him. Try to reach him
Get to his level
Most guys are told to not show emotion and may be nervous to be seen as “weak” or “needy”. But they are human and need understanding as well. Not just a women.
This is a common worry for women post partum. Have a calm and rational conversation with him about it. Be open and communicate but don’t be accusatory. Newborns are stressful and men go through a big transition as well. Our hormones and biology change with the pregnancy and labor. Its an evolutionary survival tactic hardwired into us as mothers to care for our babies (not to say the transition to motherhood is easy at all) but men don’t have that biological cushion that we have. They’re just suddenly thrust into it and as excited and happy as they might be about the new bundle of joy, its stressful and confusing too. We’re spoonfed this fairytale that we love everything about parenthood immediately and that’s just not true for a vast majority of people but so few are candid and honest about the realities of parenthood, particularly in the moment, which can cause a lot of maternal or paternal guilt. This guilt and stress may manifest as a short temper or distancing yourself. I wouldn’t necessarily jump to him chatting up other girls. Fights are rampant between parents of newborns and not because of the relationship failing. Me and my husband never argued, then we had a baby… we’re still happily married with two kids. You two just have to endure a little chaos and figure out how to discuss your stresses without escalation. This sounds very textbook normal to me. I hope everything works out.