I'm a first time mom and scared I won't be prepared for baby: Advice?

i’m expecting my first child. and i’m terrified. This baby was not planned, I was on the pill, but I still ended up pregnant. I am happy, but most days, I’m just full of worries. I’m 20. I feel like I won’t be a good parent, or I won’t have all those “mother instincts.” I am constantly worrying about everything. My boyfriend doesn’t seem to realize my frustrations or concerns, no matter how much I voice them. We aren’t financially in the greatest situation. But he is heavily against abortion, and in the beginning, I was against it too, but as I get farther along, everything becomes more real, and the more I see my baby and hear the heartbeat, I get scared. I have nothing for my child yet, and I do plan on having a baby shower, but I feel like no one will even show up. I’m so worried about not having the stuff I need for my baby or not being able to care for my child properly because I don’t know what to do. I don’t have a whole lot of kid experience, and next to zero baby experience. IDK I guess I just need some words of encouragement or advice. Thank you. to add: I do love this baby growing inside me, so don’t get me wrong on what I’ve said. I’m just really worried and stressed out about everything.


You were born to be a mother. Your instinct is inside of you. It will come naturally I promise. Its normal to be scared. But once you see that face you will do anything to protect it. Babies dont care if they have the most expensive crib or fanciest clothes. They care to be loved and nurtured. Trust me. Being a mother is the most incredible feeling.


These are all common concerns being a first time mom especially when the pregnancy is unexpected. Please don’t worry too much as everything will come together bas time moves on. It’s instinct. Focus on and enjoy your pregnancy. You are about to experience one of the most incredible feelings in the world.

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I had never even held a baby before I had my first son, or changed a diaper even. It just comes to you once the baby arrives. As for things… I bought everything under the sun for newborns, and needed pretty much none of it lol. You’ll be 100% ok.

I was 20 when I had my first.
That was 40 years ago. Wow, time flies.
Anyway, 40 years, and 5 kids and 4 grandchildren later, I survived and so did my kids.
Relax and enjoy the journey.
You will be fine. Those fears tell me you will be a fantastic mommy to that lucky sweet baby of yours.
Sending prayers and warm hugs.

It’s definitely scary. I had just turned 19 when I found out I was pregnant with my son. I had only been dating his father for 3 months and he didn’t show much emotion when he found out. We weren’t in the best financial situation either and I was terrified. People’s judgements didn’t help either. But when I heard his heartbeat something inside of me just changed. Now here I am. 21 with an almost 2 year old who is amazing. Financially stable. In our home. And I’m expecting baby number 2 (I’m even more scared about this baby lol). All I’m saying is, I know you’re young, but this isn’t going to ruin you. This is going to push you to do more with your life. We are never really ready to become mothers. We just get up and do our best every day. I wish you the very best in all of this :heart:

First off, have you thought about adoption? No one here will judge you if you do. That is sometimes the best option for babies. Second, I have a second hand baby store I frequent. Google some stores like this in your city. Many newborn clothes look brand new because babies don’t wear them that long. Post on your local parents page on FB, look on CL, there are several options for cheap gently used items. But first you need to decide if taking care of a baby is really something you guys can do. Please seriously consider your options

I was 19 when my first child was born. Completely unprepared to be a mom! She’s 27 now and has a 2 year old little girl. Check local yard sales for baby items. They outgrow everything so quickly. You’ll do just fine. It’s totally normal to feel what you’re feeling. You got this!!

First Congratulations! Don’t psych yourself out! I was 19 when I had my son and I was on birth control too. I had experience with kids but no one is ever really ready. Babies don’t wait for the best time, when you’re financially stable or emotionally ready. Just start preparing, a little at a time. You’ll be okay I promise.

I am about to be a 3rd time mother at 34… but my youngest is 9 and it’s been a long time since I have had to care for a newborn or baby. So I am terrified again to start over and to have forgotten everything and be starting over after a divorce with rebuilding. I can relate to the fear of finding out and not knowing what to do or what I wanted at the time. I am heavily against abortion but same the closer it gets the more scared I am. If you need someone to talk to, message me. I am also having a baby shower soon so if I get multiples of something, I wouldn’t mind sharing. :slight_smile:

The fact that you are worried and scared means your going to be a good parent. It’s going to hard atyo times, not gonna lie. We all feel the same no matter age or number of children. You got this.


The fact that you are already worrying shows your mom instincts DO exist. Parenting is the hardest job, by far. I don’t think any of us ever feel like we are ready, or good enough. But we get through it, there is always a way! I was 20 when I had my son as well, living with my boyfriend’s parents, working a dead end job. My son is 11 and now I have an actual career from where I plan to retire, married with a second child, and just bought our first home. 11 years seems like a long time, but trust me it’s not. You will find a way :two_hearts:

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I was 18 with my first son it’s scary but once you give birth everything falls into play

I am 23 and had my first son a year ago. I was on birth control so it came as a shock, I cant tell you how many times I told myself I couldn’t do it and I was never gonna be a good mom. But when he got here it just kinda all melted away. Yes I am far from a perfect mom but I do what I can. My boyfriend lost his job right after our baby was born but you just find a way to make it. And also I have some baby stuff so if you’d like to message me you can :blush::blush:

I was 19 when i got pregnant with my son and had no idea how to be a parent but you learn, those mother instincts every one talks about do seem to kick in after you have your baby. I didnt have everything i needed for him until like the last few weeks of my pregnancy, even when i left the hospital i had to go shopping for things. You’ll never be fully prepared, maybe talk to your doctor about safe anxiety medication, that might help?

That’s where it all starts it’s love second is dedication third is sacrifice. You have the love and everything else will come. Praying for you and your baby :blush:

If you’re worried about being a good mom, you already are!


It’s natural to have all those feelings. But babies doesn’t care if they have a lot of stuff. If you can’t afford a crib guess what a dresser drawer works just fine for a new born. They really don’t need as much as some people say they need. Wish you luck

Listen I’m 21 and my boyfriend and I didn’t expect our daughter. We both worried about what we could do for her and everything. But once she was born, everything started to work out. If you message me I can give you places that helped us get everything before she was born and still help up. It helps my boyfriend and I a lot and doesn’t hurt our pockets much.

The fact that your worried shows that you’re already a good mother. As far as being things for the baby, all the fancy things out there aren’t a true necessity. All you really need is clothes, diapers, wipes and a safe place for baby to sleep. And the thing used till clean the nose from congestion, I think it’s called an asperstor