Is it normal that my 3 year old talks to herself?

My 3-year-old has been talking to herself a lot when she gets upset. For example, when it is time for bed, she will lay down and tell herself, “it’s okay, your a big girl. It’s okay,” and she will keep repeating it. She also has a lot of “episodes/Breakdowns” thru out the day, and we have taught her when she gets upset to take a deep breath and count to 5 and continue to do that until she feels better and is ready to talk. This works great for her! She then expresses her emotions to us once she has calm down, for example, “mom, I’m ready to talk. I’m mad because I can’t find my pink shoes” however, lately shes been talking to herself, she will say, “its okay…its okay… take a deep breath, and it will be okay” my question is. Is this normal? My inlaws say there is something wrong with her, and if she’s talking to herself, we aren’t paying enough attention to her. But I feel the opposite. I am big on teaching them coping mechanisms because I am manic/bipolar and was never taught how to properly deal with my emotions, which I struggled with growing up. And I want my kids to know how to express themselves in a positive way


I’m 24 years old and I still do that to myself! If no one else is going to tell me it’s going to be okay at least I have myself. There’s nothing wrong with that girl and if you ask me she’s already so strong for knowing how to make herself feel better.


I will be 39 n still talk to myself n have talked to myself n had imaginary friends (till I was like 5/6)n my 4 yr old constantly talks to himself n so does my 17 yr old…

It sounds like she’s being able to sell soothe by implementing the techniques that you’ve taught her.


Yes it is. She is self soothing the way most people do, it just isn’t in her head like most people. She will grow out of it. You taught her good tricks and she is exploring using them all by herself. Good job mama!

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Nothing wrong with learning how to control her emotions

I think she sounds very advanced with her emotional coping skills. Helping her to deal with her emotions instead of ignoring them or punishing them is wonderful and it seems to me that she is able to talk and work through them for the most part already, most people take years and years to develop those skills.


Awe…such a big girl. There is nothing wrong with her at all.

There is nothing wrong with her at all. Maybe she just needs to hear it ya know…shes thinking and working through it and she just needs to hear it. And hearing yourself say stuff can help it stick better, lord knows i talk to myself sometimes to this day lol :smirk: id say its a good tool for her to use not at all wrong or not normal

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Hun ive ALWAYS talked to myself as a child as well as an adult lmao :rofl: ill actively talk to myself to prevent me from Flippin or just cuz im losing it :upside_down_face: (mom of a toddler who is nonverbal while 37weeks pregnant has gotten to me bad) and my husband always asks if im talking to him when im not

Good job momma. Your baby is learning to work through her emotions. Praise her for it every day. I’m well into my 30s and I still talk to myself.

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Do you talk to yourself when you need calmed down or emotional??? I do!!! It’s normal!!

Self soothing is a good thing. You taught her well!!!

Pre-K special Ed teacher here. Yes this is normal and actually a great thing! This is a great skill to have.

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I think she is brilliant! :purple_heart:

Awww…it’s like she’s using you for her ‘inner voice’ just reassure her, and praise…if you think it’s more than that, talk to her pediatrician

My daughter talked herself to sleep till 10 years old. That and her imaginary friends went away and now shes a mad at everything preteen

Thank you for teaching your kid how to cope with life. I thought I did a good job but my kiddo struggles so much with her emotions (tween). I wear my heart of my sleeve so I know where she gets it from

Totally normal… my 5 year old son talks to himself and when I ask him who he talking to his reply is “I’m talking to myself”

She is self regulating. That is AMAZING for that age. Great parenting!