In marriage, is it common to ask for help or wait till the other just jumps in? My husband has been getting so annoyed with me asking him to help around that it has turned into a three-day argument with no resolution. I explained to him that when I ask him to do little things, it helps me not to resent him. I also explained that I am expressing what I need. He responds with that I am bossy and he doesn’t need to be told or asked to do anything. That he always feels like I have a honey to-do list for him … I am at a loss of what to do if I don’t ask him, then he doesn’t just jump in, and I become resentful, and if I ask him, he becomes resentful…
No, it’s not normal. It’s selfish and wrong. You deserve better.
If we aren’t doing it 50/50 I’ll be slamming those divorce papers in your face.
My so has actually told me to make him a list 🤷🤷 every1 is diff tho.
It is not normal. He should be asking if you need help
I would just end the relationship… Obviously its not something you want…
You shouldn’t have to ask.
Get a maintenance man to help out and give him the bill.
this is me asked my husband to hang a picture I cant do since we moved here in june and it’s still sitting on the floor where I left it. I get after a long day at work he doesnt want to do anything… but I also work long days too. he gets mad when I start doing the task I’ve asked him to do weeks ago and makes an ass of himself in front of everyone and blames me. I’ve learned to just let him have his huffy moment and continue on. . not worth dwelling over. pick your fights
I’d make a list of things to do for the day or week n post on refrigerator ! If he asks just say it’s a General note so I’ll try n do as much as possible ;”) it’s your note but in general for all household to see n hint hint hint maybe help???
Get three bids on getting the work done, ask him to decide which one to hire. If it’s sweeping, mopping and vacuuming, get a maid.
Nope, he’s an adult, he should do his half, it’s his house and things too, even if he’s the only one who earns for the entire household. And it’s not ‘helping’, it’s taking care of business and pick clean after himself.
What a brat. Tell him to grow up.
In my personal experience men don’t tend to see what needs to be done and do it but also think women are nags because we ask them to help. Now I’m sure there are some wonderful men out there that are the exception to that but I’ve never met him! I’m on man # 2 where I have massive resent due to this exact situation. And when he does do something (regardless whether I ask or he miraculously did it on his own) he thinks he deserves some sort of award or praise for doing what he should be doing anyway…like giving the kids a bath.
You both live there so he should be helping!
I was raised with 3 older brothers and they think I’ve always been bossy…So at a very young age i was always independent, unless i couldn’t carry something too heavy then that’s when i would ask for help… So now when they come over to my house, we always do 50/50… If i cook, some else does dishes…if were outside in cookout… they cook and i clean… its always about they way you ask things with men… the more bossy you are the less they function… Maybe if you do his work (if its not complicated) and not cook, he will understand how much you need him to help… Lol…we have to be smart, to not show our bossy side show…
You are in a PARTNERSHIP!! Tell him to get off his high horse and help you. He is being a child, you deserve better.
Don’t ask again, just pay someone to do it instead!
I’m self employed and work 8 months out of the year. During that time I demand his participation in the household duties. The four that I’m off I do almost everything, willingly because he is working. The months I am working I leave him sticky notes in the bathroom because he sucks at housework!!
My EX husband was the same way, I worked, I cooked, cleaned and took care of the house while he didn’t do shit oh well wait yes he did he cheated and that’s exactly why he is my ex, if he has a problem with helping then there’s a problem, when your in a marriage your there for one another and if he can’t at least help you it’s either time for a talking or time for a seperation