Is it strange that my husband hangs out with a girl 12 years younger than him and married?

We have neighbors that moved in about 1.5 years ago. My husband has always been social with them and has their phone numbers and texts them. About four months ago, I started talking with them and exchanged numbers with the wife. We talk almost daily, and they always hang out with our two kids and us. The husband is in the military and deploys every so often, which means the wife comes to hang with us for dinner and just hanging out. She recently just had a baby, and we help her out babysitting and around the yard. Recently she and my husband have been texting a lot, and they started to make plans to go play tennis together and didn’t invite the kids to go or me. He invited her over to dinner without telling me, and then they went together to pick up the food, and I was left at home watching her baby. I asked my husband if there is something going on, and he says, No! He said since I don’t like to do a lot of sports and things with him, then he finally found a friend to go do those things with. I know I am jealous that she is 12 years younger than us and super pretty, and I looked like that when I was her age, But is it ok for them to hang out and not always to tell me. They now talk daily and go to play tennis all the time. I have started inviting myself, and it pisses my husband off because he says it’s like I am babysitting him. He said friends could be men or women, and it shouldn’t matter; we just have to trust each other. I just don’t feel comfortable with it, and he said he doesn’t care because he is having fun playing sports with someone. Now all I can think about is something that is going to happen. When he gets a message, I always instantly think it’s her. I have brought it up a few times, and he just tells me I am crazy and that if I was to go hang out with her husband and do something we both enjoy since he also doesn’t do tennis that he would think it’s great. I really don’t believe that, and I would ever feel comfortable with that. Should I just let it go and be happy that he has a friend to do stuff with?

1892 Likes

If you’re not comfortable your husband should understand. He is married to YOU. Your feelings come first.

15 Likes

He sounds like a dic

2 Likes

Nah dog, the only balls he’s serving are in his britches.

12 Likes

I wouldn’t be comfortable with it either. It would be different if he talked to you before hand and invited you. The texting each other all the time thing would really bother me too.

7 Likes

Nope nope nope. You know what you have to do

4 Likes

I can tell you you are not crazy. I would not be ok with this and I’d think your husband also would not be ok with this if the tables were turned. His defensive reaction says a lot, as well as his getting irritated when you invite yourself. He should understand and respect boundaries. The neighbor lady should as well. And should know better. It could be completely innocent. But if you feel a certain way that should be enough for them to refrain. Just my opinion.

Grow a back bone and end this.

4 Likes

If you tell your husband you’re uncomfortable with behavior like this, and he doesn’t do what he can to alleviate those feelings, something is majorly wrong with that. How behavior with her might be innocent, but his ignoring your feelings like he is, is a huge problem.

8 Likes

They’re gonna fuck. Eventually. They’re already fucking, They are going to fuck. Period.3 scenarios.

11 Likes

That is not normal :pensive:

2 Likes

That’s bullshit. I would never be okay with that and my boyfriend wouldn’t either and you definitely need to speak up about it. I would call her out for sure.

That is not normal, they have or are going to. Something is going on. Follow your gut.

2 Likes

Trust your gut! If u feel like something is up there probably is!

2 Likes

They are creating an emotional codependency bond, and it WILL lead to sexual activity.

12 Likes

Hell no. And I doubt her husband would appreciate it either. Maybe you should get his feedback.

18 Likes

A shoulder to lean on is a D!#%k to suck on watch out!

11 Likes

He is in the wrong…he isnt including you in matters and when you confront him about it he starts gaslighting you. If he actually told you that they had plans it’d be different. I’d just be diligent and check on a few things,when something’s wrong you just know it. You can access his text messages thru your cell compare as well

It takes two…Shame on both of them!!!

3 Likes

Um. That’s a hell no. The only reason he would be on with you going with her husband is so you would be out of their way.

5 Likes