Is it true that once a cheater always a cheater?

So my husband and I have been together for ten years. 2 years after our marriage, we lost our second child. I went to therapy and moved on. However, during that time, he said he is ok. A few years later, our 3rd child was born, and we noticed that he was feeling down a lot. I went back to work again, and we started to drift apart a bit… fast forward a year, and I find out he has been talking with a colleague about our child loss and our problems. He assured me they’re just friends etc. etc… later, I was pregnant with our 4th when I found out that, yeah… things happened between them. He admitted that they have feelings for each other, and they plan to move in together when I go back to work. Anyway, during this time, he’s still living at home and rarely sees us and our kids. However, he still wanted us to be friends (and made advances towards me that I am ashamed to give into) anyway; she ended up finding out and ended their relationship. When this ended, he was very depressed ( even while hr was dating her), but now he wants us to stay together. He is putting in a lot of effort with the kids, helping around the house, is more caring towards me. Anyway, my point is, is it true that once a cheater, always a cheater? Or is it possible that he has changed his ways? P.s. he admits that he still loves her ( they don’t talk anymore) And still loves me too. I really need advice. Thanks

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I don’t think so. I cheated once to get out of a relationship. (I was young and dumb) but I have never cheated since then.

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I don’t believe once a cheater always a cheater. We all are humans and mistakes get made. But if he is doing all that and making a great effort forgove him and make your life all you wanted it to be. I know the pain when you lose a child and in sending a hug for you

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Don’t be anyone’s second choice. If she wouldn’t have kicked him to the curb he would have left you.

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So he had an affair? With your knowledge? All while living at home with you? Amd he is sad sometimes?
F that! Get the hell out and go get healthy.

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I’m sorry but honestly you sound like his last resort :woman_shrugging:t3: if she hadn’t dumped him he wouldn’t be there. You should RUN.

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Time for you to walk away, this wasn’t something he regrets. If he loves this woman it was more than a physical thing. He will fall in love with someone else and leave you again. I don’t believe once a cheater always a cheater but it doesn’t sound like he is remorseful. He wants you because she won’t have him, nope.

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If they’ve done it more than once including to other people I believe 100%, my husband was just busted deleting messages to another woman and talking shit about me to her. Needless to say, our marriage is now over. This wasn’t the first, but it’s going to be the last.

Leave him. He’s staying with you as a second choice. You deserve so much better.

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Look up the term narcissist. He sure sounds like one.

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Sounds like he wanted his cake and to eat it too. But now the other woman dumped him so he’s back with you because you are his fall back person. Don’t be anyone’s second or third choice. What happens if he falls in love again with someone else and you and the kids get left in the lurch again.

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I wouldn’t stay with someone who still says they love someone else especially seeing she kicked him out. I honestly think you sound like a second choice or backup and if someone else comes along he might do it again. I’m so sorry but I wouldn’t even want to be near him telling me that he also loves someone else, I wouldn’t be able to look at him the same and would always think that he’s thinking of the other person

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While I do believe people can change this man didn’t break up with her to be with you he was dumped and chose you as a second option I would leave in your shoes. Know your worth

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I don’t think once a cheater always a cheater but I do know some people are just that way in life and immature

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He doesn’t love anyone but himself. Run. He’ll cheat again.

I could not be with someone who cheated on me. I could never forget what he did. Or trust him ever again

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Definitely agree with not being someone’s second choice. What if she takes interest in him again? Then what? I understand It must be hard with the kids but do this for you and them. You deserve better.

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I’m sorry but I have to agree with the others here, he would have continued doing what he was if she hadn’t let him go. It does sound like you are his last resort. He just doesn’t want to alone so he came crawling back when she was done with him. Girl, run. As fast as you can. You already know this tho or you wouldn’t be asking darlin. Trust your gut.

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He only got back with you because she dumped him. Run!

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He Showed His True Colors.