Is it weird to buy my ex a Christmas gift from our child?

So I have a question for the single moms and daddies. Would you buy your child’s parent a gift for a holiday or birthday from your child? Even though he more than likely will not buy anything for your child or you? So here’s my story. My family thinks I’m crazy because I bought my baby daddy a gift for Christmas, something I know he will love that will be only from our child. Our child is still an infant, but I feel its important for him to get something from our child, especially since he is coming to my family Christmas dinner. He is not really active in our child’s life only comes around for big events where photos will be taken to show off he is involved(which he is not) in the beginning he was around maybe every couple weeks then once in the process of me filing for child support he started coming a few hours per week trying to get me to not file or the court not to make him pay. Once it was set in stone, he had to pay; he disappeared for months only reaching out through text ever few weeks till the holidays; then, he wanted to be there for the actual day. Being me, I was more than welcoming even though my family wasn’t comfortable since he had been verbally and emotionally abusive to me from pregnancy till recently since he hasn’t been actively involved. But he had not only done it to me but had been verbally abusive to family members of mine. Needless to say, I do everything I can for my child including putting up with him, and I always go above and beyond to make sure things are civil between us especially in these situations because I don’t want my child to feel as If I didn’t give him the chance to be daddy or just be involved to a point. When I bought the gift, I got a lot of backlash from my family and close friends because of this. My best friend was on my side said I was a great mom for putting my feelings aside for my child. But am I wrong for doing this? I know I didn’t need to buy him anything, but I just felt it was right. Idk I feel all over the place with this situation. Anyone else in this situation, I would love ur opinions on it.

53 Likes

My parents divorced when I was 9 and always made sure we had a present to give the other parent. That’s good coparenting.

4 Likes

I believe you are doing the right thing, in putting your feelings aside for the long-term benefit for your child.

You are also setting a great example. Don’t let the opinion other’s deter you.

dont buy make something

Do whatever you think is best for you and your baby. That’s great coparenting, atleast from your side :slight_smile:

You are out of your mind.
Sounds like you still want to be with this loser.
You need professional help

9 Likes

So he’s not there for his kid , and you are buying him a present ??

4 Likes

I buy presents for ex every year. He doesnt do the same for me. His wife wont allow him to even speak to me. But I do it for the kids. And I always send a card saying thanking for being a great dad

My sons father and I did this for many years, it meant so much to our son. Once we both married, our spouses respectively took over.

1 Like

Actually it’s not weird it’s called adulting more people should do it.

1 Like

Not at all! I would be doing the same .
You are a grown woman, and your kids feelings should always come first .
If he has changed his roles and is trying to be a better person after all that. Let him . Doesn’t happen often .

1 Like

Your child is an infant. The gift is 100% from YOU, not from the baby. I do think it’s weird. I think it makes it clear that you want him back and still have feelings for him…

6 Likes

I honestly wouldn’t buy my ex anything! He doesn’t even deserve a happy birthday from me! He’s only a dad every other weekend and has every excuse not to make Christmas concerts, open house, etc. he is not active in that babies life, stop being nice to him!! I wouldn’t even invite him to the dinner but that’s just me!

5 Likes

My son always made something for his father or at times bought something for him. It’s called being an adult for the sake if your child or children! Nothing wrong with that.

You’re a better person than me, because I would have gotten him nothing.

1 Like

I usually buy wether it just be a box of chocolates /scratch tickets or sometimes I just frame the kids school pictures

Sweetie alot of parents do that dont let others influence you with negative you wanna buy a gift buy a gift god bless

I think it would be a good idea and perhaps help keep communication between father & son open in the future.

If you get along now I don’t see what not. 6 yrs ago I couldn’t even look at him he made me mad. But now we actually get along better than we did married. I’d say go for it

No my parents did this forever when they got divorced