Is it wrong that I expect my ex to not show up without asking?

Am I wrong for expecting or wanting the father of my daughter to give me a heads up before coming by my apartment to see his daughter? Twice he shows up unannounced, and something about that rubs me the wrong way. We’ve been broken up about six months, but he’s clearly not moved on yet. He asks inappropriate questions in a tone that makes me feel interrogated and then wants to argue that he’s just asking a “simple question”. It always leads to him, implying that I’m seeing someone. He then asks his ex-wife if she’d have a problem if he was in the area and showed up without calling wanting to see his son, to which she replied. No, she wouldn’t have a problem, but that’s her. She stated she didn’t know what kind of co-parenting relationship he has with me. I’m bothered because this man has been so nasty towards me through the breakup process, and I’m almost always the bigger person and keep quiet and try not to escalate things because that’s when his nastiness comes out—all verbal disrespect to me and my character. I just want to have a peaceful co-parenting relationship with him for my daughter sake.

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Everytime he shows up unannounced, say you have plans and heading out the door now (he will return home and think twice before his surprise visits)

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I’d have an issue with anyone showing up at my house without warning, with few exceptions. It’s just rude.

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Set up a parenting plan and stick to it.

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I wouldn’t allow it. Dont let him just show up and if he does tell him he needs to leave and call and make a time for him to come. U are allowed ur privacy even if u are seeing someone that isn’t anything to do with him. I would have an issue and I wouldn’t allow it .

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I had a neutral public meeting space to visit, and exchange for visitation.

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Nope would not be ok with that. I would act like I wasn’t there when he came by unannounced.

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Tell him there are bounderies and he must follow them or he cant be there

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Yes it’s inappropriate. Set up a visitation schedule and stick to it.

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I wouldn’t like it either and wouldn’t hesitate to tell him that he MUST call first to see if it is ok. He is continuing to disrespect you by doing this, and has no right to interrogate you on ANYTHING. If he cannot call ahead, and cannot be polite when hd’s there, then show him the door until he behaves

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me and my ex been split up for almost ten years and he still does not text to say when hes picking the kids up I mean it’s always the same day but it’s never the same time he just shows up whenever also dropping them off always same day but never know when we argue every week like hey send a fucking text just to let me no and still after 10 years same shit… :woman_facepalming:

Not ok. Do you have a court approved parenting plan? If not get one.

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You need to go to court and set up a parenting plan.

He has zero right to be at your home. He can meet at a public place to pick up your daughter. He never needs to be at your place.

I don’t mind spur of the moment visits it is his kid too but I do expect a heads up or a is it ok? Do you have other plans? Kind of thing

Just gonna be real here and say it… He’s not looking to see his kid, he wants to see you, get you riled up, and find out what you’re doing. It’s probably time you set some clear boundaries. It’s pretty clear he has 0 respect for you. I wouldn’t tolerate it!

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I have issues with people in general just showing up unannounced it’s rude for one because you could have plans

I suggest getting in writing days set up where he can see/have his daughter I’d also be saying if he can’t keep it civil you will find a 3rd party to get involved with visiting (hand overs or a house to have contact) as it’s not healthy for a child to see that or you to be put through

He’s trying to catch you with someone.

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Does he disrespect you or abuse you? And shits none of his business

Have you attempted to talk to him about it? If not, communicate with him and explain that to him. People cannot fix their actions if they do not know they are doing anything wrong.