Am I wrong for expecting or wanting the father of my daughter to give me a heads up before coming by my apartment to see his daughter? Twice he shows up unannounced, and something about that rubs me the wrong way. We’ve been broken up about six months, but he’s clearly not moved on yet. He asks inappropriate questions in a tone that makes me feel interrogated and then wants to argue that he’s just asking a “simple question”. It always leads to him, implying that I’m seeing someone. He then asks his ex-wife if she’d have a problem if he was in the area and showed up without calling wanting to see his son, to which she replied. No, she wouldn’t have a problem, but that’s her. She stated she didn’t know what kind of co-parenting relationship he has with me. I’m bothered because this man has been so nasty towards me through the breakup process, and I’m almost always the bigger person and keep quiet and try not to escalate things because that’s when his nastiness comes out—all verbal disrespect to me and my character. I just want to have a peaceful co-parenting relationship with him for my daughter sake.
If he comes knocking. I would call his cell from inside the house tell him it is not a good time and to leave. If he wont leave call the police. Then file custody at the local courthouse if you have to otherwise he will always be in the middle of your life.
It takes time to build that coparenting relationship. Everyone is different. Most people don’t show up to anyone’s house without saying something first. Even if it’s family. You check to make sure they’re ok with company and that no one is sick before coming around. It’s just common courtesy.
He isn’t stopping by to see his daughter, he’s stopping by to check up on you. Unless he can be more considerate, you may need to get a formal custody order. Good luck!
Make every drop in cost about the child if he asks personal questions tell him it doesn’t concern him or the child and if something that concerns them comes up he will know about it.
Document everything and tell him he keeps it up he’s in hot water