Is it wrong to tell the father of my son to keep our son for the summer?

This man and I had a child and separated a year later because we just cannot agree on anything. Our son is now ten years old, and I had custody of him up until he was eight years old. I never had financial support from the father during those years that I had him and would be told to go f** myself whenever I asked for money… eventually, I took him to court but ended up losing my son because the father all of a sudden cared for him and showered him with gifts and even pets the whole year we were going through court. In the end, my son said he wanted to be with his dad, and so his wish was granted… he did not and still does not understand that his father was just trying to protect his money… anyway fast forward to today, I pay child support, and I haven’t seen my son since January… we have been looking forward to seeing each other again in the summer, but his father said he would not give any support again for the two and half months that I will have my son. Plus, he expects me to keep paying him child support while I have my son with me. We live thousands of KMs away from each other… I cannot afford to feed another human being in my current situation. And the father refuses to even help with 100$ a month for our son’s groceries. I pay 260$ a month for child support… Am I wrong to tell him that I cannot have our son for the summer anymore because he refuses to give us some extra money for our son’s groceries? I have been crying a lot because I was looking forward to seeing my oldest son, I am expected to give birth at the end of this month too, so it was going to be a special moment for us… I just cannot afford it, and it breaks my heart so much

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You need to bring this up to the court, that you want to keep your child support payment for the months your son is with you

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What Michelle said so unfair to ur son

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You need to talk to the courts they will make the child support stop while he is in your care! And possibly make the father pay during that time! Maybe approach your ex and tell him you are just asking not to pay during the time you have him and you can take it to court and he could potentially end up paying you his choice if his money is that important to him he will cave but get it in writing so he doesn’t go after you for not paying

Sounds like his better off with his dad any way …

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Never have I heard of child support stopping during scheduled visitations. I always received child support year round even when he had a month of visitation and when he had custody I still had to pay even when I had child for a month. I would not deny visitation just because you have to still pay support.

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Hate to say this but if you can’t afford the one you have, why are you having more?

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Why you have a kid you can’t afford like wtfff hes better off with the dad

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Seriously all you are worried about is money. Go get food stamps while you have him. You are refusing your time with your child over money pick up a extra job till you get your son to supplement the extra food cost. I guess i took this the wrong way but maybe you should let the dad keep him.

What you need to do is petition court to reimburse you the FULL cs for the time your son will stay with you or stop cs for those months.

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Ok im so not trying to be mean but as a single mom of 3 with never having had help. If u cant afford to feed your oldest why are you having another child? I feel like no one should turn there child away but thats just me

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Sounds like its all about money with you and unfortunately your son has to pay the price. Go to a local food pantry to get food or eat alittle less so there’s enough for everyone. I would NEVER give up time with my children. Find away around it…single parents go through harder times than what you are and still make it work.

If you are unable to feed him for the summer it’s probably better for him to stay with Dad. Maybe over Xmas you will be more situated and he can come.

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That’s crazy, you can’t afford to feed him but your having another one!!! I would take my son, because I want to be with him, I’ll figure it out!!! My grandmother always said “ From two plates of food you can always make three, give him half of Yours!!! Maybe the kid is better off with his dad!!!

Ok so first of all a lot of ppl are being hurtful when someone needs cheering up, not ok. Shit happens and times get tough… Why dont u have custody of him anymore? Can u go to wic or foodstamps? This could be used against you in the future. Have u talked to the father of the new baby? It is that season where a lot of places are hiring for workers to do outside jobs like roofs, lawns and other things

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Have you tried applying for food stamps? You can apply with your son on it while he’s with you and then update when he goes back to dad’s. If you get denied or even if you don’t you can check your area for food pantries that can help with food as well. Also with him being a kid you can buy cheap foods to keep him fed. Noodles, spaghettios, canned veggies, hot dogs, cereal, milk, bread, eggs, pancake mix, juice…all very inexpensive items that you can buy to keep him fed. Also, Idk where you are but in my area over the summer schools offer free breakfast and lunch for kids that you can go and get no questions asked. Some of them even send bags of food home for the weekends too. He’s not looking for gourmet meals…just time with mom which he needs. If there is a will there is a way!! Look into your options in your area. If you want to pm me with your location I’ll even help you look. No judgment at all here and I won’t break your anonymous status in this group. Hope this helps!

She was taking care of said kid for 8 yrs. Father made a move like some I know so he didn’t have to pay support. Show he could provide a better living situation. Understandable and know that didn’t make you a bad parent. Fast forward two years and you’re in a financial bind which Happens to most. Nothing wrong with saying hey this summer due to the new baby and financial situation. We may have to push back his summer visit. Don’t feel bad it’s happen. Now if he truly wants a summer free moment. Like I did with mine years back. He’ll tell you don’t worry about sending the payments. Unless it has to go through the child support office. You will unfortunately have to pay.

Child support isn’t play money to the other parent in most cases. It’s to pay the other parents portion of rent, utilities, and food to keep the child living as close to what it would be like in a two parent household as possible. The father may not be able to spare the money. My child support was never stopped during the 4 weeks in summer I didn’t have them but we did load bags up with snacks/lunches they liked so I knew they had foods to eat and sent money so they could take their dad,stepmom and two step brothers out to eat or a movie each week so they would have a good time and remember their summers.

Contact court love, I get what ur saying. Btw judgey ppl on here stfu she’s heart broken and going through a hard time if you can’t keep the dickish comments to yourself get off Facebook. She feels bad enough you don’t need to help…

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Have you said to dad that if he’s staying with you for the summer you’ll need that money and do you have to pay it cos he’s not there ? Also if you can afford to have another child maybe you can actually afford to have your son for a while ? And the food you do have share it during the war people had ration books …they shared what they had …ive been in situations where I’ve been broke with 2 kids we made do and shared