I have a question that would be great to get honest judgmental-free feedback about. My boyfriend and father of my child cheated on me. He told me about it a week after it happened. It got bad, and I told everyone in our life what happened, looking for advice and help. We went to a therapist, and he has told me it was the biggest mistake he’s ever made, and he’s sorry and will forever regret it. Would I be insane and stupid to try and work things out? I don’t know if I should leave or at least try a few more therapy sessions and see if the relationship can or is even worth saving? If we did work things out, my family and friends know what’s going on, and I’m almost too embarrassed to even try. Thoughts?
Don’t be embarrassed to do what you think is right for your family. He was very upfront about it and is going to therapy with you… I personally would have to see therapy through a little longer and decipher if I could forgive him or not. What your family thinks doesn’t matter- what matters is if YOU think you can forgive and trust him again.
It’s really up to you. If you forgive him though then your willing to look past it and not bring it up again. Once you say you want to work it out and forget about it, you have to. If you feel you can’t forget about it and it just hurts you then think about it. Maybe have a little time to yourself alone for a few days and really think about it. It happened to me and I tried and I couldn’t let it go. I forgave but I couldn’t be with him. I had no trust and just felt uneasy. But everyone is different. Think about it really hard
The fact that he came clean and has remorse is a good thing. If you can forgive - continue to try. If you can’t then don’t waste anyone’s time. Family and friends may know what is going on - but who cares. If they love you they will support you and follow whatever path you decide to take.
It can be a relationship worth saving… but with telling everyone what happened it’s going to be hard.
no. Simply because you blabbed your business all over to everyone. You sound like you’re looking for an out. Honestly, because you’re trying to get advice from strangers, you haven’t and probably can’t forgive and it will fester. You’re putting off the inevitable…just rip the bandaid off and call a spade a spade.
I personally wouldn’t. I would always be suspicious & never get over it.
It all depends on if you can forget it and trust him again. It happened to myself and I couldn’t forget nor trust him again. I found out by accident but you were told because he felt bad and wanted to fix his wrong. Keep going to therapy and see how you feel.
Me personally no I do not accept cheating ive bene cheated on one to many times so if it happened again to me I would leave with out even thinking about it but that’s just me. Its all up to you. Will you be able to get past the facy he cheated will you be able to push thoughs thoughts in the back of your head will you be able to trust him again. Because its always going to be in the back of your min you are always going to question him and what he’s doing your going to get that sick feeling in your stomach that something isn’t right all the time your going to question everything personally I wouldn’t frok what I have learned once a cheater always a cheater but that’s just me
After you told everyone and they know they will never ever respect him. And why should they?
If you do give it a shot, since he told you and you’re attempting to fix the problem. Don’t hold it over his head later as a jab at something. You need to forgive and move on. If you feel like you can’t, then it’s probably not worth the time. Give therapy some time. If you can’t be open and honest with one another, then there’s no relationship to even save.
Don’t do it. Same thing happened to me and it was honestly the best thing he could’ve done to me because he’s done it to every female he’s been with after me. Once a cheater, always a cheater
Thats a question only you can answer…in my experience, if he is remorseful and wants to eork on things and is willing to change his behavior, then yes it can eork, but with that you also need to take a hard look at yourself and be willing to change things as well. Therapy is a great step to take for the healing process. Its a long hard road and he has to realize that you are going to take time to heal and he has to be there gor you 100% during that.
If you chose to work this out, what most people don’t tell you is how long it will take for you to trust him, and how every year on those days it will eat you alive and how so many small things will remind you and make you think you weren’t good enough. The thing is, you can get past that and be happy. Do what you think is best for your family!!
I believe if he told you a week later he felt terrible about it and won’t do it again. The active cheaters do everything to hide it and make you feel crazy for even thinking it. Those are the ones that are undeserving of a second chance.
How many nasty stuff did he expose you to? They say once a cheater always a cheater
I have been through this personally. You’re more than welcome to shoot me a PM.
Personally, I wouldn’t. I couldn’t be with someone that I don’t trust. However, everyone is different and you’re the only one who can make that decision. If you feel like you need to work it out, then work it out, if you go to therapy a couple more times and you decide there’s nothing to save, then leave.
I can’t forgive or forget. Trust can’t be regained for me.
No, because the respect is gone!