I've Been Raising My Grandson for Years, But His Father Is Mad He Calls Me 'Mommy'

QUESTION:

I’ve been raising my grandson for the last 4 years. This is my son’s son. He was placed in my care by Child Protective Services at 5 months old, which ended in me having full custody of my grandson. My son wasn’t in the baby’s life until a year ago.

My grandson calls me mommy and my husband daddy, we have literally been his parents emotionally and financially. In the last year, my son would make a once-a-month visit with his son.

In the last 6 months, I have caught my son telling the baby I’m his grandma, not his mommy. I understand I’m Grandma, but it’s frustrating he feels he has a right to do that.

Baby will know we’re his grandparents when he’s old enough to understand. I also let teachers, doctors, etc. know I’m his grandma.

This has led me to tell my son he can’t visit with the baby. Am I wrong for not wanting to confuse baby right now?

My son doesn’t help with him financially and he already has another girl pregnant. He thinks a once-a-month visit is going to make him daddy."

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1 Like

I too, raised my granddaughter from the time she was 18mos until she turned 6. She called me mommy and my husband Daddy. She knew her mom too as Mama but she lived across the country in the military. I had 4 younger children that called us mom and dad and she naturally began doing so even when we called ourselves Nana and Papa. She has since moved back in with her Mama. She calls me Mom sometimes and Nana too. She still calls him Daddy as he is the only male role model she has. I think he should call you Mommy and his “dad” should be eternally grateful for all you have done for the little guy.

Well then maybe daddy should be raising him himself :woman_shrugging:

3 Likes

That would be awkward in public places with both dad and grandma there. People thinking that’s your baby mama when it’s actually your mom. :woman_facepalming:

No one knows your situation and should not judge anyone, but you should not be allowing the child to call you mommy. IT is after all your grandchild not your child. Nip that in the bud before it gets confusing

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Similar situation with my niece and her grandmother. It’s weird.

I’m sorry but no mom is mom and grandma is Grandma. I wouldn’t want anyone else to be called mommy but me. I mean maybe come up with some other kind of name special for you guys but not mommy

4 Likes

I mean, you’re his grandma, not mom. Seems about right he calls you grandma (or whatever he uses for grandma)

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I’ve had my Grandson since he was a baby. I have custody. I have always been, and will always be Mommy.

12 Likes

You could always have him call you grand mommy to keep peace in the family.

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I strongly feel he should call you Grandma. You’re not his mother.

3 Likes

The child has a right to their feelings. How dare anyone box them in because their situation is different .

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My nieces mom passed away when they were very very young. They were raised by grandparents and called them mommy and daddy but are fully aware of who their parents are and about their mom and what happened to her. Theyre now grown with babies of their own. Theyre fine, i think it all depends on the situation and how it works for that child.

8 Likes

Oh please the man or the real mom should step up and do their job the child is confused he doesn’t know any better but you can bet he has someone that treats him like a mom and so what the gramma loves him he wishes he real mom was there we called my gramma mom and we are just fine we had good parents that understood

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I raise my granddaughter. She called me grandma until she started school. I also have a son only 1 year older than her. People always asked how is she grandma if she is his mommy. She started calling me mommy to make it less confusing for everyone. I never asked her to or not too. She knows I am grandma. Anyone who matters in our lives knows I am grandma. Anyways just my 2 cents worth…

8 Likes

There seems like there maybe more to this than we know? Such as: where is the child’s mom, how old is the child, has there been a conversation with the child about mom and the list goes on. Sense we don’t know the answer to any of these questions or many more for that matter ? We can’t really make a honest opinion. What I will say is God Bless the child! :pray::revolving_hearts:

So after reading the full story, the issue here is that the father is trying to be more involved in his child’s life. He should not be barred from doing that because of your selfishness of wanting your husband to be called “daddy” (and you to be called “mommy”). It’s extremely messed up to deny a father visitation to his son because heaven forbid this boy’s actual parent wants to be in his life. Honestly, I hope he gets a lawyer and gets some custody. Then maybe you’ll wish you hadn’t been so petty over a name.

My grandson (my sons son) lives with us and calls me momo but mama sometimes cuz thats what everyone else in the house calls me. He calls his MOMMY so he does differentiate between the 2. I dont care what he calls me but i wouldn’t want him to call me mommy since he has 1

No, I have to disagree - Grandma is Grandma, not Mommy! Even if I was raising my Grandchild/Granchildren, I am their Grandma!!! They will know that!

3 Likes

My aunt has raised 2 of her grandchildren for 12 years. The youngest getting ready to turn 13, the oldest just turned 16. So they have been with her more than they have their own parents. So yes they call her mom. They know who their parents are but their grandmother is their mom through and through.

7 Likes