I've had some health issues and now I feel like my husband doesn't want me: Advice?

Please post anonymously. I had a child in March via c-section due to my development a kidney stone(size of a large marble) and infection when I was four months and had to have a tube placed in my back to drain the urine out that wouldn’t get past the kidney stone. Since giving birth, my SO and I have only had sex twice, maybe 3x. I feel like after seeing our son be born, the bag collecting my pee and just the everyday life of being a parent, he is no longer interested in having sex, and trust me, I have asked and done just about everything to have a “good night.” Before we found out, he was constantly trying to and would get mad when I said no. But now he hardly touches me or anything sweet like he used to. I was just trying to see if there was anyone else who went through this and if so, how did u get him to be interested in u again.

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Try sitting down and talking to him about it. Becoming a parent is a huge drastic change and exhausting for both sides. Maybe he’s still adjusting. But definitely talk with him and see what you both can do to make things work.

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Talk to him about it. Personally when I had my second two I was the one completely not interested. But being open and honest is the best policy

Talk to him and not us ask him why he don’t want it 🤷

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It seems to me that you both have been through a lot regarding your health issues and having a child. He may just be overwhelmed with everything that has gone on and thats effecting his libido. Sit down and ask him if he is okay, if there is anything weighing on his mind, tell him how its making yiu feel not having sex etc communication is key.

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He may also not want to hurt you! I know my husband was really worried about hurting me even after I had a UTI

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Talk to him about it. Just set your hubby down. Tell him how your feeling and ask him what’s going on, what you can do, what you both can do to change things. He don’t know unless you tell him. Also men can suffer from PPD just like women

Dad’s can get PPD just like women

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It may not be that he isn’t interested or turned on, maybe he feels your fragile now and scared. Talk to him!

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This is where that ‘in sickness and in health’ thing comes in, nobody thinks it will happen to them. Showing love to each other every day is a CHOICE. Even though physical appearances have changed, there should still be the emotional, mental, spiritual connection there that fosters intimacy. Sorry to hear this, hope you guys can get back on track :blush:

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Umm I had my son in April and my SO and I have only been intimate once lol… you just had a baby. It’ll come girl.

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It is possible he feels like you have gone through a lot and it is hard because he feels your fragile

I asked my boyfriend of almost 10 years…he says most guys won’t turn it down!!! If you’ve tried everything like you said, he should show some interest!!! If he doesn’t show any interest, he’s either gay, or he’s cheating , and has been for a while!!!

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I wanna know when they’re going to blast the kidney stone :thinking:

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My husband really wanted to but was very careful, he hurt me once like the 2nd time we did it and there was a. Week or so in between that he was just scared. And I also caught him like almost obsessively going to bathroom to watch porn and after telling him how much it hurt me that hed rather leave me to go to bathroom to jerk off instead of asking me if I’m in mood. And how it hurts comparing myself to all these “big booty” women he kept looking up because well I’m skin and bone. Just communicate with him. It hirt and broke my husband to see how much it hurt my self esteem feeling like he didnt want me after having my son in December. We got plenty of new sex toys and have gotten back into our groove and it’s been much better since. I’ve also been feeling more confident and into it(and he has too) since I started working out and drinking plenty of water and decreasing my caloric intake and getting my body back in shape.

Don’t stress about it! Having a baby is a lot of stress (which I know you understand lol) just keep trying and maybe bring up your feelings to him… but I’m sure he’s still attracted to you. You brought his child in into the world. There’s nothing sexier than that! You went thru all that just for your child. It’s such a strong thing to do. Just keep your head high, mama. It will get better :orange_heart: my son is 7 months old, and my bf n I just started getting back to normal with sex.

Having a newborn changes a lot. I wouldn’t assume he wasn’t interested in you sexually anymore. I’d more assume its just the normal stress of having a couple month old baby is just exhausting him, and stress can decrease a person’s libido exponentially. Have a conversation with him directly but don’t be accusatory or aggressive. But you BOTH need to air any potential grievances you have to eachother and make sure you guys are on the same page.

Is he helping out with baby? Baby might be making him too tired.

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Communication is very important for a Husband & Wife if you can’t talk to each other about anything and everything than something is wrong with that. I had 3 C-sections an very high risk and health probs with at least 2 of my pregnancies, Yes my husband waited for when I was ready and was very considerate of me healing but he never made me feel unwanted or unloved ever.!

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With my first she was 34 weeks after my csection the thought of sex made me feel ill I just wasn’t interested i put it down to hormones and my body had been put through alot plus a prem baby I went back to normal after a few months if U are concerned talk to your partner and gp