Lately my bonus kids mom has been taking them on weekends that are supposed to be ours: Advice?

We have a blended family; we try to keep things fair for everyone. We are supposed to get my bonus kids every other weekend; it seems like lately, their bio mom has been picking them up for birthday parties every weekend we are supposed to have them, she picks them up a couple of hours early to get dressed, brings them back whenever. And the kids that live at home get left out. At first, it didn’t really bother them, but its starting to. Is this just something you deal with while co-parenting, or should we say enough is enough? Are our weekend time for us to spend with our kids? We only see them twice a month. And we plan important events around the parenting plan. So no one misses out. I get that sometimes that doesn’t always work out, but we have had to say on numerous occasions that so n so won’t be there because they are not here this weekend or whatever. So should we just leave it, or say something? We hardly get to spend time with them.

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Have your hubby talk to his ex

Talk to her , maybe she’s not doing it on purpose

It’s your time. Get a court order if she’s taking them on your guystime. You get to decide if they go to parties and such and you take them.

If they have events those weekends, she needs to be communicating that ahead of time and figuring out a plan ahead of time. Or even switch weekends with you. Start filing complaints with friend of court. Your time is your time (or rather your husband time).

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the kids are being invited to birthday parties let them go… she probably can’t help when what weekends they get invited… just ask if you can have the next 2 or 3 weekends… communication goes a long ways.

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If she needs them during the weekend have her keep them that weekend and trade her for hers. If she takes them for x amount of hours during your weekend, ask in advance that she give you back those hours. And if she won’t honor it or agree to it then just tell her she can’t have the kids on your weekend at all :woman_shrugging:t2:

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If the time is already limited then I would put my foot down and say no this is our weekend and we would like to have them.

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Well if it’s the kids friends party they you should volunteer to take them. Issue solved

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Communication is key. If you have a decent relationship with her, you both should talk. Otherwise have your husband have the talk with her and go from there.

Perhaps communicating with the biological mother of your ‘bonus kids’ (can’t say I like that term, makes them sound like some sort of prize) instead of posting on here and before jumping straight to court, co-parent with her and discuss your issues.

I would ask the kids what they wanted to do. If they don’t want to go I’d say no if they do then let them go but ask for them to be picked up and brought back in a timely manner or take them yourself. Maybe switch weekends.

Usually if my bonus daughter has a weekend event we offer mom to switch weekends (we have her the majority of the time) so that mom still gets time and bonus daughter doesn’t have to miss events. I would say either request that mom switches weekends next time there’s a weekend event or unfortunately the kids won’t be able to go friends are important but family time is more important especially if it’s already limited

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Offer to take them to said parties. It sounds like you gave an inch and she has taken a mile.

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To be blunt this is an issue for the bio parents to work out and step parents need to step back

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If there is a parenting plan in place that was sanctioned by the courts, your hubby needs to tell bio mom tough s**t when it comes to her having the kids on your appointed weekends. If she doesn’t take the no for an answer, take her back to court.

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Ask to trade weekends then? Like if they have something on yours, ask her if you guys can have them on hers then. Idk

I’m sorry but maybe stop calling them “bonus kids” to start with and Birthday parties usually only last a few hours can they not be dropped back off after there parties and then yous still have time with them

Is there a court order? If so, dad needs to say NO and follow the order. If theres a party the kids either dont go, or it can be planned on HER weekend with them.

I think this question depends on age. As kids get older they like to go to parties they like to be with friends more so than parents. I have a strict parenting plan that we follow but as our kids get older they kinda decide what they want to do. I always let the ex know way in advance about a party the kids want to go to. Its the ex option to say no or he would like to take her or he has me take her. But it is all about communication.