Mhy husband doesn't think I want him: What should I do?

So my husband doesn’t think I’m interested in him anymore because we haven’t done anything in like two weeks. But I am. I’ve just been busy with working two jobs and helping him with our three kids. he says there’s nothing he can do to change his mind, and he’ll just deal with it. What should I do?

9 Likes

Uh sounds like a little blame shifting, honestly.

16 Likes

Tell him you two need to set aside time for your relationship, dinner, movie on the couch. But just time for you two, maybe on Wednesdays the kids go to bed early and you two eat a special meal alone. Or get a babysitter and go out

4 Likes

Do at home dates, explain to him your schedule and then plan dates around it. When you say you haven’t done anything do you mean intercourse? If so tell him there is more to relationships than that.

2 Likes

That last statement sounds like he has some toxic behavior. That’s gross.

12 Likes

Sounds like shifting blame and gas lighting comes next!

17 Likes

Tell him to grow up.

10 Likes

How long have you been married?

Plan a date and surprise him with a night of just you guys (if possible for you) or put the kids down for bed early one night and do a date night at home. Show some extra affection. Random kisses make his favorite food. Pamper him a little bit. Sounds like hes getting depressed and isolating himself a little. Show him you still love him and care about him

3 Likes

This came across as a red flag for gaslighting and building a foundation for blaming you for when he cheats. Honestly let him go. If a man loves you 2 weeks without sex should not make him want to leave but discuss reconnecting with each other to improve the relationship not jump to conclusions you don’t want him. Take care of you. You’re worth more than being told 2 weeks without intercourse means you don’t love me.

12 Likes

Sounds like he is considering cheating, yet not understanding why y’all haven’t done it. Start getting in frequent quickies

1 Like

Something in the morning before you’re exhausted?

You two need to sit down and talk about it. Tell him to hear you, to really hear you, tell him to put himself in your shoes and then he can tell you about how he feels, put yourself in his shoes. Then try to fix it. Make a schedule for the kids to give you two some time alone in the bedroom, or even at night try to make sure they go to bed early so you and your husband can spend some quality time together. Text him loving things and how much you appreciate him. Etc. Saving your relationship is not impossible, it just takes change.

1 Like

If he’s saying there’s nothing you can do to change his mind then there’s not 🤷🏻 to me it honestly sounds as if he is the one who has lost interest and that’s why there’s no hope in a shift of thought but he’s putting the blame on you.

Still try a dinner/movie night or just something you both like to do. If nothing changes then try counseling if you can find a time to fit it in your schedule and can afford it

3 Likes

It seems like his act of love is physical touch. He’s doing it kind of wrong but he’s communicating he’s not getting feelings of love from you. I mean when you’re relaxing with him but not in the mood do you cuddle? Hold hands? Take a bath together if it’s an option? What’s your act of love? Does he do that stuff? I think y’all need to sit down and learn a bit about each other

3 Likes

I agree with most of the other comments. He seems to be shifting the blame. What has he done to help you? Anything at all? Has he even tried to get intimate? Has he even tried to just sit with you for 5 minutes and just hug? Why is it your job to initiate everything? Is he “helping” with is kids? And by helping, I mean taking care of them like he should. Are you both doing equal amounts of work at home or are you doing it all? Men don’t realize that it takes a toll to work a full time job, or two jobs, and then come home and take care of EVERYTHING. If I were you I would talk to him. Don’t give in and just give him sex because he’s whining like a baby. Show him you care, yes, but let him show you he cares as well.

4 Likes

He sounds selfish…

2 Likes

I think he is trying to make you feel bad for not showing him any attention. Work and 3 kids are hard work!!! Relationships can get pushed back when life is hectic. If he thinks that then he should be planning a night away to rekindle things not making you feel bad

WTH? When did all of you become psychologists?!

My libido is definitely higher than DHs, and DH has experienced what you’re experiencing. I’ve expressed feeling like my DH doesn’t want me anymore, to my DH. And I’ve NEVER ONCE considered cheating on my husband. Y’all aren’t helping at all, and are probably making this poor lady feel even more uncomfortable with the whole situation.

Life is hard. Kids are stressful. Sometimes 2 people fall out of sync. Sit down with him, talk, plan date nights. Hell… plan your “encounters” if necessary. It’s important for both of you to feel comfortable with the intimacy in your relationship. Make your relationship your priority. It’s the foundation of your home. :heart:

5 Likes

Ask him what’s REALLY going on with him & start marriage counseling.