My 10-year-old doesn't want to meet his bio father: What should I do?

My son is ten years old. His biological father has never been apart of his life, we broke up when I was pregnant, and he just ended up going down the wrong path in life. He was on drugs and in and out of jail for the past ten years. He has never met my son. We have been in the process of having my son adopted by my husband, who has been a father to him since he was a baby. I had to reach out to the biological father to get his information so we could file the paperwork. He said he would sign whatever paperwork he needs to for my son to be adopted. But in the same sentence, he said he’s changed and would like to meet him. I asked my son, who’s old enough to understand if he wanted to see/talk to him. And he said no, he wants nothing to do with him. I’m just not sure where to go from here. Do I have my son give him a second chance? Or let him go with his gut? He said he doesn’t trust him and never will.


Respect his wishes and keep that man away.


The risks outweigh the benefits.


Respect the childs wish.


Listen to your son… period


Your son owes that man nothing. I would hope you follow his wishes & not have him meet him.


Respect your son decision he is old enough.


Respect your sons decision and explain to him that it’s okay if he changes his mind down the line and the option for him to meet his bio dad is always there for him if he chooses


Let ur son decide he knows himself


YOU have answered your own question. " I asked my son, who’s old enough to understand if he wanted to see/talk to him. And he said no, he wants nothing to do with him." He may feel differently later in life, but respect his wishes now.

I think your son is old enough to decide and it sounds like he’s happy with how this stands. It doesn’t sound like the bio father would be a positive influence in your sons life at the moment.
Maybe when he’s an adult he’ll decide if he wants to make contact.


I’d respect my sons wishes. Couldn’t care less about bio dad. He made his bed.

You can’t force him to meet him…he can change his mind when he makes his own decisions to do so…or not.


Respect your sons wish. He may or may not change his mind when he’s older but if he is happy and has a man who is about to adopt him and love him then in my opinion your son is making a very mature decision in not meeting his bio father. My daughter is 16 in her bio father is in and out of rehab turn on drugs and it has done more harm than good knowing him

A ten year old is not mature enough to make that choice.


Work together with his bio dad and him.

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Considering he is a crappy dad he probably won’t but he could go to court and get visitation So maybe let him meet him as he is signing away papers

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NOTHING! Shut up about it and never mention the subject again. Just. That. Simple.


I think it depends on what was said to him about his father while he was growing up. Did you bad mouth the father, was he ever discussed? Ask him more questions on what makes him feel this way.

If down the line he changes his mind then it should be left up to him. Right now he’s not happy with him. He feels he has a father whether biological or not.