My 11-year-old has expressed that she doesn't want me to date: Advice?

HELP ME PLEASE!! I am a single mother of 4 children (11, 9, 5, 3) I have been divorced for almost three and a half years now. I have been dating the same guy for the past year. My oldest daughter (11) has expressed her dislike about me dating and “sharing our time together with someone else,” and she has also expressed this to him. Now, if she is here, he refuses to come around. I have told him that isn’t the way to handle, and if he just keeps on and doesn’t allow her to push him away from that, she will realize that he isn’t stealing my attention, but he doesn’t feel the same way. What do I do?

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I think your daughter is reaching out and possibly telling you she doesnt like the man you’re with, consider her feelings. Sometimes we are blinded by what’s really going on. Maybe your daughter needs you to listen to her and leave this man alone.

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Set aside time with your daughter obviously she feels left out. And if and when he does come around prepare fun game, movie. Popcorn, pig out eating night. I feel if our children are expressing an emotion towards us it’s for a reason not to push their buttons and do what we want but adapt to her.

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while you may be ready for dating, it sounds like your kids aren’t. and the guy you’re with doesn’t sound like he’s ready to date a single mom. Honestly, kick him to the curb and keep the next guy away from your kids for a while.

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If the guy I’m dating has no intentions of getting to know my kids he is history. The first guy I dated after my split was like that and I kicked him to the curb right away. Kids can feel weird about their parents dating and it’s up to you and the man to assure them everything is okay.

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There’s always a reason for a childs behavior. Dont force her to have a relationship with this man. Do it when they’re not around. She’s old enough to know what she is talking about.

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Leave him if he is going to be that childish to not come around your kids. Your daughter probably has a bad feeling about him and he just proved her right. Please listen to your kids.

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Act like you are attempting to do it. I bet she sees how sad you are and changes her mind quick. Good luck!!

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Unfortunately she’s a child and doesn’t control your life lol.

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If ur kids r telling u they dont like someone. I should listen

She sounds like a typical 11 year old he on the other hand sounds like a spoiled little baby trying to compete with a child and a child’s mentality - dump the a******

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I think you need to find out why she doesn’t like him. If it truly is only about time then I’m sorry but you’re an adult and she needs to learn how to cope with it. If it’s something serious then he needs to go.

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Your children come first. If your daughter feels like her time with you is being decreased, you need to work harder on bonding with her than worrying about your guy. Sorry but guys come and go no matter how perfect they seem but your children are only little once and need you.

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I would start by asking her why she feels that way and this guy if he is just going to handle a situation like this he might not be the guy for u that’s not ten way to handle something like that and he needs to grow up

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I would ask her why she doesn’t like him

Your daughter is crying out to you. She wants your attention and that is okay. They don’t stay children forever. Enjoy her and involve yourself more in her interests.

Dump him! NOW!

He’s the adult, but he’s not acting like one. This is about her not him. He should work to not make her feel like he’s a threat to her relationship with you.

My stepdaughter was 4 when her dad & I started dating. He’s had custody since she was 2. One night he was trying to put her to sleep and she she stayed very sternly “I’m not going to sleep until SHE leaves!” He told her to apologize, she refused and I told him it was ok, then told her I was just leaving because I had an early morning at work. For a while after that I would leave when it was her bath time and made sure not to be there at her bedtime since that was a trigger for her, but we spent other time together and then one night she asked me to give her a bath and put her to bed.

I can’t say it’s been bliss ever since but I love her and she loves me and that won’t ever change.

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dating should be done outside of the home. Until it becomes more serious. Now, that doesn’t mean he can’t take you AND your kids on a date. But there shouldn’t be any “him over every night” mess. Keep your two lives separate for now.

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Your daughter needs more time. Your boyfriend is respecting that. Maybe keep them mostly separate for now - make sure she knows your not shopping for a new daddy

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He’s obviously not ready to deal with children, but it’s not her decision on whether you date or not.

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