My 13-year-old daughter refuses to sleep in her room: Advice?

I can’t get my 13-year-old daughter to sleep in her room she will only sleep on my couch in the living room I’m at my wit’s end, and when I ask her why she always says it’s too hot or she doesn’t like sleeping in there I keep my house at 71 degrees, and I have no clue what could be causing it. I thought it would be just a phase but if not she will not sleep in her room alone but when she has friends over they sleep in there do you think I should have her checked for separation anxiety or does anyone else have this issue Any help would be appreciated.


My daughters the same :sob:

Maybe she is scared of her room and being alone in it.

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For whatever reason, she obviously feels vulnerable in her own room.


71 is really hot to sleep comfortably! If the living is cooler I’d sleep there too!


My daughters the same. She’s 13 too. It’s a battle I don’t have time to fight. Her room is usually a mess…but she is also hot. Her room is upstairs so it does get hotter up there.

I went through a phase where I want to sleep on the couch my bed is a futon at that point so my mom just turned it into a couch. But there’s probably some underlying reason she doesn’t want to be in her room

If shes anything like my kids or husband, they will sleep with windows wide open and fans going in the middle of this winter storm newfoundland is currently getting and STILL complain the house is too hot :roll_eyes: as I sit freezing to death under a billion blankets and hoodies

My 12 year old was the same. We redid her room and put string lights to help her sleep

71 is hot to sleep. Maybe try turning the heat down at night and see if that makes a difference.


Rearrange furniture in room, sound machine, fan, portable ac in room, soft music,


I also went through a phase at that age. Mine was related to anxiety, as Teddi mentioned, there’s usually an underlying reason for it. It seems as if the couch is her safe place.


71°, oh hell no, I’ll fight someone lol I would be hot too! Maybe get a fan for her?


What’s the problem with her sleeping on the couch?

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My son does the same 💁

I don’t think its a huge concern if she isn’t comfortable in her room let her sleep on the couch , she clearly is comfortable there.

71 is way too hot to sleep i mean really? I would be sleeping on the couch too. If she is sleeping and is doing fine on the couch let it go


I slept on the couch when I was that age. (By choice) :woman_shrugging:t3:

I would talk to her and ask her if anything’s bothering her if she’s okay and so on. I did that too i slept with my parents for a long time (not every night tho i had my own room and everything altho sometimes we would have multiple “sleepovers” and i slowly outgrew it. My problem was being bullied and on the bad days I just wanted to stay close to my mom. Id also get her a counselor/psychologist kids tend to be more hesitant to talk about things like that she might not tell you the truth. Oh and also if the reason is somewhat bad-dont get mad, be as kind and understanding as possible it’ll bring you two closer


So…this is NOT going to be a popular response and people get so angry when you suggest things may be wrong. But I am speaking from personal experience…take it or leave it. When I was 12 I asked to switch from my own room to share a room with my sister. I thought I would be safer there, another person more eyes…I did this because a family member would visit me at night after everyone went to sleep. Not saying that is what is happening, only saying it is something to think about.