My 13 year old is grounded, should I still allow her to come to the store?

Recently I had to ground my 13-year old for being disrespectful and simply having no motivation to give 100% in school. Not often do I have to ground her, but this time my “warning” didn’t phase her, so she got grounded. She decided to push some buttons. When I grounded her, I told her she had one week of grounding, and she wasn’t going anywhere nor doing anything. Normally she goes with me once a week to get groceries, which she likes to do. My question is because my husband and I both aren’t really sure if we should take that away or not. I did tell her she wasn’t going anywhere at all, so a part of me wants to make sure I stick with what I said but wasn’t sure if going grocery shopping with me is something I should or shouldn’t take away…

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Allowing her to come with you, while still holding your ground with the other disciplinary actions, would be a good way to show her that although you’re upset with her actions you still love her. Im sure she can’t go out to friends and stuff as well, so she should be able to get out of the house some.

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I wouldn’t take her if she enjoys it

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I’d allow her to come. That’s still mom and daughter time you can have.

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I don’t see anything wrong with going grocery shopping.

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I wouldn’t punish her for having no motivation in school tbh. It’s definitely a hard year & I wouldn’t blame any child for that. And it really depends on what you mean by being disrespectful. Its circumstantial. But I’d say take her to the store. Don’t take away something you guys do together.

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Best would be take her phone and electronic away for a week. Teenagers cannot be without these days

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If she likes it, then no. I would leave her home and stand by your decision that she doesn’t get to go anywhere or do anything.

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Has her attitude improved? If so, take her to show her you are happy she’s trying and if her attitude hasn’t, leave her at home. Just my opinion :slightly_smiling_face:

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I’d ask her how her attitude has changed first and see how that conversation goes. If she can calmly and respectfully have that conversation then I would.

I did some self education in learning parenting. One thing was the disciplinary action should always be tied to the behavior. Talk back lose phone privileges. Miss curfew. Shorter curfew. Disrespectful to homeless. Community service. Hope this helps.

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First of all, every child is struggling to give 100% effort during these times. Just because they’re kids doesn’t mean they’re not effected by the pandemic. Secondly you’re taking about her going to the grocery store with you. You are being ridiculous there. She can’t even go to the grocery store with you is pushing it a bit too far.

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Maybe you should figure out why she’s not putting any effort in her school work. Why is she lacking motivation? Is something or someone bothering her? Bullying? Depression? Low self esteem? Try to get to the bottom of that first before you just punish her for assuming she doesn’t care. There’s always a reason behind why we do or don’t do things. Secondly, don’t shun her completely, what if she’s going through some difficulties that you are completely unaware of and bonding and spending time with you at the grocery store is one of the only times she can leave all that behind? Talk to her and gain her trust to figure things out together. Maybe she just needs help with her work. Good luck.

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I think if you’ve told her that she isn’t going anywhere then you shouldn’t allow her to go with you. That way she will realise that you are serious. Hopefully she will learn her lesson and not repeat the behaviours. Good luck!

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Take the opportunity to have a good heart to heart with her

Shes probably depressed because its online versus actually going to school and seeing her friends. I wouldn’t have motivation if I was a kid during these times. I wouldn’t want to go to school online. There isn’t much social interaction and I’d miss my friends. Maybe that’s why. I’d try to understand why she has no motivation. And also you grounded her by taking away going anywhere or doing anything so im just going to come out and ask if she has electronics to talk to her friends? Because those would have been the first to go besides not going anywhere? And if she doesn’t then you should understand that school might not be the same.

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My first gut reaction is to say leave her home. But, after some thought, I believe in tying heart strings with our kids. I would take her with you and try to have a good time with her, they grow up sooo fast! It’s only the grocery store, so even tho she’s on restriction from many other activities, I honestly think this won’t hurt at all. Your a good mom to care so much!

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She is with you grocery shopping… most kids consider that punishment!! Let her go, soon she won’t want to and you will miss your one on one time together!

LEAVE HER HOME!! Stick to your guns. She can go next we if she acts right

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My honor roll daughter had 3 F’s the 1st 6 weeks . Online schooling isn’t easy. Hopefully the next 6 weeks she improves and so do the teachers. Its very hard on all students and teachers this year. Give her a break. Talk to the
teachers. Get a tutor .