My 3-year-old has no relationship with his father: Advice?

My son is three now and has absolutely no relationship with his bio dad even when he was a baby. His father would get “bored” and go out with his mates all night doing god knows what and never participated in caring for our son, he has serious anger issues which certain things he did gave my son serious anxiety and upset him a lot. He ended up cheating on me and getting another girl pregnant, so I left him, took our son and moved away. Not long after, we went to mediation as he wanted a relationship with his son but only saw him three times after we came to an agreement in mediation. Fast forward to now it’s been over a year without hearing anything from him, no messages even asking how he was or to see him (mind you he doesn’t pay child support either) when all of a sudden out of the blue he wants to see my son then when I don’t reply straight away threatens to drag me through court just so he can have a relationship with him and I haven’t heard from him since.

13 Likes

Tell him, you’ll see him in court. Don’t let him manipulate or hurt you or your child anymore.

11 Likes

I agree with michelle and have him pay child support… go to court you will win hands down because he is an unfit parent

It’s not healthy for someone to pop in and out of a child’s life. Ever. Tell him you’ll see him in court.

2 Likes

One day at a time. Things will change daily. However it wouldn’t hurt to keep a journal of times and dates he’s contacted you. Better safe than sorry. Hope it works for you…

1 Like

Don’t waste your energy to answer him, wait to receive a court order to show up and tell the judge the situation. Right now write everything down (keep texts, messages, etc) Contact your lawyer and wait.

4 Likes

Its a mind game. Tell him see ya in court… He will get bored and stop harassing you. You have every single right to protect your son. If thats keeping his toxic father out of his life, so be it. Dont give in to the threats, because that’s all they are. Been there done that.

2 Likes

Research the laws in your area. Where I live, if the other parent doesnt have contact with the child for 6 months or more, they’ve already involuntarily surrendered their parental rights. He doesnt get to pick and choose when to be a dad. Do your research, get a lawyer, take HIM to court for neglecting his child.

5 Likes

I hope you documented every day he didn’t contact or see your son. Sometimes a judge will rule no visitation or rights if they go a full year without having any type of contact with the child. It’s not your responsibility to reach out for him to be a father. He should do that on his own.

1 Like

He sounds like a deadbeat, I would ignore him… If he takes you to court oh well 🤷 seems like he would get board with it and drop it… Hell I say take his ass to court for child support, or abandonment and get his rights terminated. You don’t need that dumbass stressing you or your son out.

1 Like

Seriously been through this. Dont waste your time. It’s all words. If you let him see him he will just see him once or twice then disappear for a few years until he feels lonely again. Raise that baby to be stronger and surround him with positive ppl that love him.

7 Likes

I agree with above. Tell him you will see him in court and let the court know he hasn’t been around for over a year

1 Like

Go to court then if he has abandoned his son for over a year he’s going to have to answer a lot more questions than you.
You can petition for the best interest of your son

1 Like

Document his neglect…ignore his threats.

My sons father does this, just tell him you’ll see him in court, if that’s what he chooses to do. Also, make sure to keep a record of everything! Better to be safe than sorry.

1 Like

Beat him to the punch and go to court first!! Tell them what is going on and have them set him up on supervised visits with a child advocate present! When he missed 2 visits in a months time you can fight to have his rights terminated and not have to deal with him again! (At least that’s how it works where I live, one of my friends went thru almost the exact same thing and in a matter of two months he showed his true colors to court by not calling or showing(

2 Likes

Can’t blame the little one not wanting to have anything to do with the asshole :angry:

1 Like

You have a standing court order, if you deny him anything in the court order he can use it against you if he does take you to court. (Facts, not opinion)

If you want to change the court order to something more reasonable (like supervised visits because he hasn’t seen him in a year) then you need to take the steps to do so.

Advice, only communicate via email or text and keep records. Change the court order on the basis that he’s not been in your child’s life and push for supervised visitation because he’s a stranger.

2 Likes

If hes been out of the picture for a year …check with an attorney but I think you can file abandonment charges and get full custody. … friggin sperm doner

4 Likes

He’s using your child to get to you. Let him take you to court. I repeat let him take you to court. This way he will be the one having to pay any filing fees associated with doing so. If he has court ordered visitation and wants to see his son be accommodating. I’m not saying let him take your son for a visit but when he texts you asking to see your son reply with it’s been over a year since you last saw him and it could be traumatic for him if you were to just show up and take him somewhere. So I am more than happy to meet you in a public setting so he is comfortable. Wait for his response. If he doesn’t respond or responds with threats of court because you are keeping his child away from him state I’m not keeping him from you I’m more than willing to let you see him but for the sake of our son it’s in his best interest to be reintroduced to you while I’m there so he will feel comfortable and not stressed out. Always keep screen shots of all text messages and get them printed so you can submit them as evidence should he try to take you to court.

2 Likes