My 3-year-old is aggressive towards his sister: Advice?

He is very aggressive towards his little sister to the point where he scratched her and drew blood today. I have tried to explain that hitting is wrong, we made a soft, safe place for him to calm down, we’ve tried separating the kids during playtime, but it never seems to work. I guess I am just frustrated as this behavior has come from nowhere. I know he does not like it when people are in his space, and I do my best to make sure his sister isn’t up in his face. He has sometimes hit his father and me when we tell him NO but never escalates into anything more. He is gentle with the cats and doesn’t hurt them. It seems the anger and hurting is always towards his sister. Just looking for advice as my next step will be to consult a DR for help regarding mental health and aggression.


He needs it done back to him… eye for an eye. Sorry to sound harsh but if you don’t nip it now you’ll have a bully on your hands


I think he needs an evaluation for autism spectrum disorder. Early intervention is key. You can’t discipline or hit the autism out of a kid. So anyone who gives that advise please ignore and get that kid the right treatment.


He is 3. That is what 3 year olds do. Teaching him how to behave is what you need to do. This is not an unusual behavior for a 3 year old


Think it probably just jealousy and wanting his own way which is normal for his age x


I agree natalie my grandson was like that and your so right autism kids dont get it i hope the parents get him checked and that hes not just being naughty

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Little swat on the butt to hurt nothing more than his pride


Sounds like a three year old. Discipline time


I have 5 kids. Oldest is 4 and youngest is 5 months. None of my kids behave like this… of course my 2 year old hits whatever is closest to him when angry but doesn’t target a specific person or thing. I’d take him out for a mommy and me or daddy and me day without the sister. If that doesn’t work then maybe talk to the dr.


A swat on the bottom won’t hurt him but it will let him understand what he’s doing is wrong, sometimes words don’t get through and if you don’t gently show him what’ll happen when he acts like that another kid will do it for you except they won’t hold back


My son has sensory processing disorder and reacted/reacts this way with his little sister. When we started getting help for his sensory issues the extreme aggression has basically stopped. We still have our days but overall a lot better. He will even kiss her boo boos now. I mean it took a year to get him to but hey it’s progress. Also his dr recommend showering the injured child with attention first then sending him to time out (so he has to watch her get the attention he wanted) and then to come out of timeout he has to apologize

The 3’s but you have to make the rules for him. Mine is an only child so he just tested me. But I am from a family of 5 and we had to nip it right away.

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He may need some one on one time with you. Let him know that you are still there for him. Also keep reminding him of the things we do not do. Three year olds tend to test a lot of boundaries and see what they can get away with. Talking to the doctor won’t hurt.

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I would spank his tail.


What is she doing to provoke it? Is he just randomly going up to her and bothering her? Or is she bothering him and that’s his reaction? How old is she? Kids hit because they can’t talk or don’t know the right words to use yet. Model proper behavior. If she takes a toy from him and he hits, tell him “we use our words, not our hands” and then model for him saying “can I have that back please”. When she gives it back remind her that we don’t take toys.


Beat the crap out of that butt


Some children respond better to talking, others to time out and others to a spanking. Absolutely speak to your doctor. Consistent discipline for the wrong behavior is a must. Telling him no every time he starts to get aggressive and doing time out might work. He may require more time each timeout. Good luck!

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3 is the independent big kid stage. Give him some small bit of responsibility for her and then praise him for being a good big brother. Have him grab you a diaper when you have to change her, or have him make silly faces at her to make her smile, and then let him know that she likes him. Help guide their relationship :heart:

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Take him to the doctor now, rule out autism or any other mental health issue. If those are ruled out, put his ass in 3 minute time outs, punish him for violent behavior (not by being violent with him, as that reinforces the bad behavior) if time out doesnt work, take the things he likes away, like screen time, toys, etc. I was a nanny for many years, to many children, and this is not normal behavior for a 3 year old. 1 year old yes. 3 no.

He sounds like a 3 year old? Consistent discipline, rewards when he is gentle. If he doesn’t grow out of it I’d worry, but for now I wouldn’t think too much into it.