My 3-year-old just started preschool and is having a hard time in and out of school: Help?

I need advice. My daughter is 3.5 she just started preschool last week. A few months ago her friend (only one she knows she has no siblings and no cousins) her friend was very physical with her and hurt her and her feelings. Since then she’s been petrified of other children of all ages. Prior to that she LOVED kids and would just run toward them every chance she had. Well now with her in preschool, she screams and sobs uncontrollably while she’s there, the teachers are amazing and work so hard to calm her and take her mind off things. She literally just sobs and cries saying ‘I want me mommy I want to go home’ the entire time she’s there. It’s getting worse each day she goes. Her whole personality has changed since she started, acting really sad and more clingy than usual. (I’m a stay at home mom) she’s usually a daddy’s girl, and here lately she won’t even let him near her, she just screams for me to hold her the entire time, and saying rude nasty things towards him like ‘go in the other room’ ‘i don’t want HIM to do this/that’ and plenty of other very hurtful rude things. I don’t know what to do, I already have HORRIBLE anxiety and just taking her to preschool is hard enough let alone have to have her pried off of me every day and see her sobbing before I pick her up. I’m at a loss as to what to do. I’m nauseated and can barely eat bc my nerves are completely shot. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance


Is it possible an adult has hurt your child? She should not be saying things towards her father like that if theyve been close before that. I’m sorry to broach such a sensitive topic but you can never know what happens unless you personally are there 24/7.


I would suggest talking to her teachers, and building her confidence up. Try to set it up where she works this out. It could be a number of things. And she can also be feeding into your behavior.
I like taking my daughter to the park, where I’m there and she plays with other kids.
Also a pep talk helps my family. She will get a prize for going to school of some kind. Give her a chore. Tell her you want her to draw something for you or make something for you. Maybe let her just hang out with one teacher before going into a full blown class. The possibilites are endless, dont worry someone is struggling just like you. Just take a deep breath and remember your doing a good job.

Stay with her a little while, give her a family photo , maybe in a necklace. Set her tasks to do . Each day stay a little less. Make parting a happy time , with the promise of a happy reunion, Daddy included. A nightime story together , perhaps. Or a play on the swings. Together. Most importantly, watch closely what is really going on at the school. Is she REALLY being included and tended to?

If you are a stay at home mom why is she in pre-school?


I didnt start my son to preschool until he was 4. We were allowed to go in whenever and even volunteer if we wanted. Maybe you can ask if you can go sit with her one day? Or volunteer as much as you can.

Have you tried play therapy

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If Shes fearful of a man it wouldn’t hurt to take her to the doctor for an exam and make sure nothing has happened


I would not take her there no more.I learn from my kids they know something is wrong may not know how to say…but clearly is.

I would seek Counseling asap

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Seek therapy/counseling of some sort… Idk why she would be acting this way with her daddy if it was her friend who had been bullying her… Is pulling her out an option? Maybe shes just not ready for that type of scenario.

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Maybe take her out for a while, she could just be not ready yet and 6 months down the line it could all be different. Good luck.


Unfortunately they all go through this. I’m currently experiencing the same with my son. He had one good week where he even begged to go to school. Somehow this week he reverted to wanting to be with his daddy. It’s your daughters first week. Children can go months with separation anxiety. We try to be positive and sound excited when he goes. When he gets picked up it’s the same. When I was working he was going to daycare and at first he had a tough time. Eventually he got “used” to it and it became a routine. When I stopped working he was home with me for two years with his little sister. It didn’t help with him being home and not being around so many children and strange adults. It is very torturous to see them that way. I believe he will act this way next year and/or the year after that. They just want to be home with mom.

Maybe try to decrease days and hours to try to wean her into it. Maybe try to talk to her pediatrician and see if they can refer to a counselor who could do a play therapy sort of thing to find the root cause of this, whether it be the incident with the kids or something else. That would also help give you some other tools to help work thru this. Hope things get better for you. Hang in there.

I think u need to do a lil investigating something happened to your daughter that traumatized her and not just her friend doing something is going on that’s why she’s acting like that get on it Mom first thing is to stop taking her to that daycare even investigate dad just to be safe


I would remove her from the preschool and do some investigation… once she is a bit more settled then reintroduce the idea of preschool/mommy and me play groups. But I would NOT take my child somewhere where she is that upset.

I kept my children at home until they were old enough to start school. They all knew there abc’s and could count and also try to prepare them for the not so nice children. They could write their names I’m not sure why if you are a stay at home mom you put her in school at that young age. Someone has hurt her in some way for her to be have like that. I suggest you keep her home or find a new school.

It’s amazing how many people speculate on the father. It may very well be that she is looking to her mother to “fix” this because it is her mother that takes her there. Her mother’s face is the last she sees when she is dropped off so its her mother that she needs to console her the most. Children show anxiety and frustration through behavior and many times it is hurtful. Maybe try having her dad or another family member take her periodically. Send her with pictures of each of you or spend some time there in another part of the room until she is feeling more comfortable. Whatever you decide thos could be a good experience for you to teach her strength & help you process some of your own anxiety.

You have to do whatever is best for your child and right now that’s respecting her need for safety and security so she can learn to trust you in the future. Put yourself in your child’s shoes; it’s ok for her to not be ready.

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For starters u.need to sit down talk to your husband about your concerns ask him what u both should do talk to the preschool teachers about for your daughter children do.overcome these fears about.other children and kids do take tantrums my advice seek help for your daughter.