My 4 year old acts out at daycare: What can I do?

My son, 4yr to be in May, isn’t doing well in daycare. Staff says he’s totally disrespectful, not listening, talking back, writing on walls threaten to fight them. All these things he does not do at home. He knows better, but it all goes out the window when around strangers. I’ve tried to take away his favorite things, snacks, toys, and tv. Time out & spankings. Explaining why he shouldn’t do such & to do better. Any other way to approach & actually get through to him?


Change the daycare!!! He is acting out because something isn’t right there. May be a teacher, may be other kids but your son is trying to tell you something isn’t right.


Get him counseling. Make a strong routine. 4 is a very pop age to start having behaviors. Be consistent. This is a common age to start exhibiting adhd also.


Ass Whooping…works every time…He know they can’t punish him but so much so he use that to his advantage…Mine tried that


When some children project fear and anger in a destructive manner, it’s usually because it’s the only thing they can control. Something is wayyy off. Think back to when the behavior started. Any significant changes or introductions to new people, places, etc?? I would definitely talk with his pediatrician and ask for a referral to a licensed child psychologist. I would definitely address his inappropriate behavior but in a sincere and loving way/tone. If you raise your voice in anger he may calm up. Don’t let this go


Children act out where they feel safe doing so. Counseling should be considered


Change his daycare. I had problems with my first child when she started pre school(that’s what we call it in my country) at 2yrs old. Couldn’t understand her behaviour. Tried everything even bribing her nothing worked till I changed schools. She never gave any problems in the 2nd place.

It sounds like he might have autism you should get him tested

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My son does the same i am at my wits end no one wants to hold him so iam forced to not work he wont dare try it with me but does it to other people

Change daycare! My son did the same thing and was awful! He would not go! He learned that if he was bad, they would send him home. We changed daycare and he loves it! Good luck, I know it’s hard!

As a daycare teacher and director, I think you need a meeting with the teachers and kid together. It definitely could be the teachers or it could be another student influence. Until you all sit down and hash it out you may never know the real issue.


I agree with looking into other daycares

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I found that my daughter was being bullied at daycare when she was around the same age. She would act out because she didn’t quite know how to say what was going on.

I would take him to my doctor
Something isn’t right! Maybe he’s suffering separation anxiety and thinks if he misbehaves that they will call you to pick him up then he gets to be with you :woman_shrugging:
Best of luck

Do not start counseling. Some of the behaviors are just age appropriate pushing boundaries. Also the staff may be causing some of it. Change day cares first before blaming his behaviors on him. Don’t label him!!!


Something is going on at that daycare!


Change daycares first.


Not saying this is true but I am a teacher and I hear this same line often “he doesn’t do that at home”


When kids get picked on or call names, this can happen. They don’t usually tell you. The boy I know is a sweetheart. A boy tried to beat him up. Yes he didn’t speak well. They took him out as the teacher would not follow through. He is doing very good now. Talk to your Dr. Move him to another school and talk to the teacher first and ask him how he feels, be cool.

Sounds like first you need to check why he’s doing that? Are they cruel to him? What’s up? And if all is good there, Secondly sounds like he needs a good swat on the bootie.