My 4-year-old has thoughts of killing himself: Advice?

My four-year-old son just started saying, ‘I’m going to kill myself, I am nothing,’ after being in his father’s care. We are separated and have joint custody. I’ve never heard him say anything like this before. His teacher said he just started saying it this week, after his father dropped him off at school, and he said it to me when I picked him up yesterday, and again today. I’m afraid he hears this at his father’s house, and I’m not sure how to address it. I have emailed him asking if he’s heard our son saying it, and where. But he has a tendency to dismiss it as nothing ('kids say the darndest things!) or completely ignore me. I’m very scared. What should I do?

97 Likes

I’d be concerned that the father is telling him that about himself (the child).

8 Likes

I would start with a pediatrician visit and get a referral to a child psychologist to evaluate why he’s saying these things or if anything occurred to make him feel this way

5 Likes

Um call CPS on his dad because clearly he’s hearing it from an adult, if not you it’s his dad.

4 Likes

Get him into see a psychiatrist

Oh that’s a Dr call in a new York minute

1 Like

That’s something that you do not take lightly ! I’m sure you’re a good mom. Get help !

1 Like

Please get him help to find out why he’s saying this! Maybe dad walks around saying things like this in front of him? Or some other adult? My goodness. That’s no way for a four year old to talk! :sob:

2 Likes

take him to a psychologist now. Let the psychologist determine the cause of these thoughts-if they say it’s a result of being at the other parent’s home, take that parent back to court with the recommendation of the psych. And contact DCFS because something is clearly happening there

Child outpatient now. Kids dont just say that stuff i would immediatley take work off. That is so scary

Take him to the health department they got ppl there that can help or if you have insurance then take him to the doctor

Where the hell is a 4 year old learning about this it’s shocking

Stop taking him to his fathers house and talk to him about JESUS ! Make fun of me all you want but he will really change your life :cold_sweat::blue_heart:

2 Likes

He heard it somewhere. He doesnt mean it, just repeating it. Find the source and get that person help and have an honest conversation with your 4 y/o in a way he will understand.

4 Likes

You need to sit down and ask him where this is coming from first of all. Has he heard it somewhere would be a good question to ask, not did you hear this from your dad.

Talk to the school social worker and get him into counseling. This is not typical of a 4 year old.

2 Likes

Try and get him help now! At least get an appointment scheduled. Unfortunately where I’m at it’s a 6-9 month waitlist.

Without sounding paranoid or anything, listening device, make sure your child is safe, it could be verbal abuse, which is horrible, but kids also copy parents, so make sure it’s not the dad saying it in a fit of depression, you may be separated but he still the dad, I hope it’s from a film tbh but have to cover all angles

1 Like

Oh how heartbreaking! Definitely address this with a counselor and if he’s hearing this at dads house, maybe reevaluate visitation

1 Like

Address it with the father first, then go from there. You know your child’s father is this a past behavior of his? Someone your son was around when was at his father’s and overheard it or even on tv? One step at a time. I’m sure he doesn’t even understand what he is even saying. Have a talk with your son and say why did you say that, Do you understand what that means? before you run to a therapist