My 4-year-old hates cuddling: Anything I can do to change this?

Hey! Any suggestions on how to make my four-year-old son more cuddly? … since he became one year old, he absolutely hates being cuddly doesn’t like kisses or hugs …unless he got hurt … I have a two-year-old as well, and he’s a complete opposite! Loves cuddling during movies and will jump at me anytime for a hug! Just having a very hard time getting my 4-year-old to show affection for any suggestions?


I wouldn’t force it youll make it worse.

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My 6 year old is quite similar, but that’s him. I soak up the moments when he does want hugs, but otherwise let him do him.

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Stop forcing it. Maybe he just doesn’t want to be touched. Kids should be listened to when expressing themselves like that. There’s no law or rule that says kids should want to cuddle.


All kiddos r different

You might want to have him tested some kids that aren’t affectionate or don’t like cuddling may be autistic


Everyone has their own preferences. Im not cuddly at all with anyone other than my kids. Respect his bodily autonomy or else you’re gonna make him hate contact even more.

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All kids are different, dont force it if he doesn’t want it, and cherish the times he does.

I got two boys they are the total opposites of each other, I tried to fight it but now at 12 my youngest son is still not a hugger.

Neither one of mine cuddle unless they’re sick

Don’t force it. If he says he doesn’t want to be touched, you should respect that much as it bothers. My son is 4 and wants to give affection when he’s willing to. I just cherish those hugs a bit longer whenever he wants it.

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Out of 4 kids my 12 yr old has always hated cuddling. She still does. Just has never been her thing, might just not be his thing, you can’t force it. If he wants to cuddle he knows where to go

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Look into the child whisper by Carol Tuttle. Awesome stuff!

He’s 4… You can’t MAKE him cuddle. For the last 4 years he hasn’t been super cuddly and now that your other one is cuddly you want this one to be? That’s not how it works. Every kid is different. Enjoy what you do get from him and what your other kids give you

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Why would you try to change personality traits? Some people don’t like the touchy feelies and that’s perfectly fine. He’ll live a long, happy life while not cuddling.


Instead of trying to make him more cuddly, find other ways to show and share affection. Maybe spend one on one time doing something he enjoys.


It’s important to remember that it’s not our child’s responsibility to care for us emotionally. It’s our responsibility to care for them emotionally. You are looking for him to fill an emotional void you’re having and that’s not his job


My son never wanted to be cuddled from the time he was born! Luckily at around 5…he became such a cuddle bug. Dont force it…he’ll come around.

Might be a sign of a bigger problem, or he just genuinely doesn’t like being touched :woman_shrugging:t4:

I’m not a hugger. I never was cuddly, even as an infant. My mom would get me to sit by her while she read aloud. Figure out the contact he likes and go with it. Maybe its hair ruffling, maybe its fist bumps or back rubs or toe massages.

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