My 4-year-old will not potty train: Please help!

I need some serious advice when it comes to potty training. My son is four, and I am at my wit’s end trying to get him to go to the bathroom instead of having accidents on his bed, the couch, or even in the car. I have tried small rewards like a piece of candy or something when he goes. I waited a week and let him pick out a prize when we go to the store—taken things away. Set timers to remind him to go and have him sit on the toilet for a few minutes. Nothing seems to do any good. It will work ok for maybe a week or so and then back to square one. I hate to be one of those moms that blame it on his dad, but that is about where he starts having the problems going. He goes to his dad’s for a couple of days, then it’s back to refusing to go to the bathroom at all, or he will go, and as soon as he sits down, he’s telling me he can’t pee. I don’t know what else to do.


We used " get out of trouble "passes ( meaning she got a pass for 1 get out of trouble )…we gave her those as rewards…passes that we made on computer. It worked, we still give those to our daughter and she is 11

dont let him wear a diaper or anything, he might not kike that feeling and realize he needs to use the toilet

My son was 3, and it was a nightmare. In the end, I didn’t go anywhere for 2-3 days and every 20-30mins made him go even if he didn’t have to. He eventually got it and never had an accident. Good luck


Have him check for overactive or small bladder. My daughter never had time to tell us she felt it and peed… she seen a pediatric urologist and was put on medication never had that problem again

My stepson is 4 and going through the same thing. He reverts back to wetting and soiling himself because his mother constantly puts him back in pull ups. All we can do is just keep reminding him to use the toilet. It’s frustrating but we just got to keep trying.

I taught my 5 year old to pee outside on a tree! He thought it was the most amazing thing ever… He eventually started going inside. Fully potty trained!

My aon didnt get out of diapers til 4.the more i forced him to use the potty the more he didnt wanna go.i let it go for a while an on his own he decided to go.they will go when they are ready.juat remind him thats what big boys do

I’m not an expert but if motivational treats aren’t rewarding maybe he’s not ready. You can try explaining to the Dad why he needs to back you up and be consistent and maybe that will help

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The key is to be consistent first of all! there are several different ways you can put some sort of cereal in the toilet and say dunk. Cheerios or Fruit Loops. You can get you one of those things that makes the water blue and say if you pee in the toilet the water magically changes to Green. Also try one of those musical toilets tell them when you pee in the toilet it plays music .


I would ask Dad if you can keep him for a couple of weeks without visits so you can have him in a routine also have potty on a tree/outside. Remind him to go every 30 mins

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Sometimes some kids are just slower than others on certain things. One of my girls didn’t potty train until she was 6. Like a flip of a switch it’s just happened one day. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Sounds like u and dad need to talk and learn to coparent together

No pull-ups - ( except bed) underwear and 2-3 days in the house .Look up potty training boot camp


Let him pee in the backyard. Trust me works every time.

With my oldest daycare did a lot of potty training and by 3 she was good.
Second - she had issues at night but by 4 she was good.
Youngest daughter was a NIGHTMARE! We tried and tried she would get it then stop. Then she would only need reminding (diaper at night) then brother was born and it all.STOPPED! then her 4th bday she wanted “underwears” and never looked back.
Either make sure dad is helping w training or see if child can stay at your place until he is able to go consistently.

I bribed my kid with his favorite thing. I got him his own potty that followed us from room to room. Had him go sit every few minutes and he got a piece of candy when he peed and more when he pooped (pooping was the hardest to get down) and eventually he started getting into wanting to play on my DS. Told him he could only play on it when he didn’t have any accidents. Which when he got peeing down to “you can’t play on it if you poop in your pants” and after one time of having an accident he got it down and I’ve had like a couple of small accidents (peeing) since then. But now he doesn’t even wear pull ups to bed.

I agree with the take him to the doctor advice check everything out just in case it’s a medical

I had my son sit on the toilet backwards, then gave him dry erase markers to draw on the toilet seat. It easily wipes off. But u also need to get dad on the same page as well.


At 4 if he’s not trained most of the time, it’s time to bring it up to your doctor.