My 5-year-old has been having accidents in class; Advice?

My daughter is five years old and in a 5-year-old full-day kindergarten. Lately, she’s been having accidents in class. In the last few days, she’s come home soaked. She doesn’t have this problem anywhere else (home, dance class, gym daycare, etc.). When I ask what happened, she says that the teacher won’t let her go to the bathroom. Her teacher assured me that they are allowed to go anytime they ask, but it seems she is afraid to ask because she thinks she’ll get in trouble. Has anyone experienced this and/or have advice? I want to have another conversation with her teacher, but I’m not sure how much I can expect her to do with a class of 20+ kids.

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Have a talk with the teacher and your kid at the same time . That way the teacher can help the kid understand that going to the bathroom is fine. My son wouldn’t go because he was scarred to get lost if he went by him self.

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Can the teacher remind your daughter to go every few hours? I don’t think that would be too much to ask of a kindergarten teacher (coming from a middle school teacher/mom of a pre-k kiddo who in in an all day elementary school program)

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My daughter is 5 never has accidents I’ve gotten called once before because she ended up peeing on herself I asked her what happened and she said she asked her teacher if she can go to the bathroom and the teacher said no because it was in the middle of a lesson and my daughter couldn’t hold it in anymore. I was livid. Let the kid pee for gods sake they know 5 year olds can’t hold it in for long.

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She’s coming home soaked? They don’t change her or is it happening on the bus?

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Maybe your daughter would be more comfortable with a special hand gesture between her teacher and herself rather then feeling like she’s interrupting or will get in trouble? My daughters kindergarten teacher had hand gestures she would do with the kids, they loved it and never had any issues or accidents in class

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I was like this as a kid!! My logic was I didn’t want the kids to know I was going to the bath room! We used a code words after talking with the teacher and it never happened. Maybe it’s just stage fright?

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Have her sugars checked my nephew kept doing that at 5 then one morning they couldn’t wake him he was going in a diabetic coma

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First you have to find out if she’s just afraid of asking. If that’s the case, then have a talk with the teacher about an alternate method to her asking to go.

I know some people have had success with using a potty watch.
Potty Training Watch Toddler Reminder Watch for Boys & Girls - 2020 Version,Water Resistant,Rechargeable,Smart Sensor https://www.amazon.com/dp/B082PQJGX7/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_duLnEbW81TSQ6

I’m an aide at a school and primarily work in a K-2 classroom. We have the kids hold up 1 finger for the bathroom and 3 fingers for water. I second the idea of hand gestures. Also, if my coworkers and I have been noticing an increase in accidents of any student, we ensure to remind the student multiple times per day and especially before or after a bus ride. Just make sure to pack a full spare set of clothes for her in the meantime! :slightly_smiling_face:

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I’ve always told my children if they need to go just go and if their teacher has an issue with it they can deal with me later

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Maybe pick times when they get up for other things and she could no then even if she does not have to yet - preemptive peeing. Her body will adjust and she will always go at the same time. First example she could go just before going into class, recess, snack or lunch, when they head to music or art.

The teacher should probably encourage her to use the washroom at points during the day. Regardless of whether or not she has 20 children, your child needs to be given opportunities to go to the washroom instead of having to ask for them

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Ask the teacher to pair her up with another female student if it’s bathroom that has more then one toilet. She may be afraid to go alone. If that still doesn’t help then I’d take her to pediatrician because there may be an issue that needs to be looked into.

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My daughter did same thing in pre k I mean even telling me that her teacher wouldn’t let her go. So I called and talked with her and we came up with a plan that every hour she would send her to the potty to go pee and it worked and eventually my little girl started telling her she didn’t need to go and started going only when she needed to and realized she wasn’t going to get into trouble for asking to go potty and you could send extra clothes and panties as well to keep her from being soaking wet if no she does have an accident that’s what I did socks and shoes as well

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Is there a bathroom in her classroom or is it a public school bathroom that is shared with every grade in her school?
The reason I am asking is because when I was five (21 years ago) I vividly remember having accidents in my classroom because i was scared to go to the public shared bathroom in fear of running into the “big kids” and getting picked on. My mom spoke with my teacher and I was allowed to bring a friend with me on bathroom breaks and that solved the problem. Just a thought- might be something similar? :woman_shrugging:t3::woman_shrugging:t3:

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Did someone yell at her making her afraid to ask? Something happen in the bathroom? Maybe the teacher yelled one time on a super crazy day and didnt really mean to and she could tell your daughter that and say sorry if so. Just gotta try and talk to her she could be embarrassed to tell you🤷‍♀️

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Pack extra pants and undies for her to keep in her cubby for days like those

Go have a meeting with the teacher and principal with you and your daughter. So the teacher can reassure her that it’s okay to ask to go to the bathroom. And so that teacher knows you aren’t playing any games with her. My kids had teachers tell them this in middle school .And I had a nice talk with them and let them know that my child will go to the bathroom whenever they need to go or handle theirs women stuff.