My 7-year-old is still having accidents: Advice?

My seven-year-old daughter still has accidents, and I am at a complete loss as to what to do. She has had digestive issues all her life and has seen a pediatric gastroenterologist who helped fix her colon, but she still poops her pants every day, and the doctor said she doesn’t know what more she can do for her. My daughter doesn’t respond to rewards and doesn’t care about you taking anything away from her or putting her in time out as punishment. Both I and her teachers make her go to the restroom every hour, and we still have daily accidents. She is lactose intolerant, and I follow a very strict diet and only give her water or juice to drink, and I send her lunch to school every day, so I know exactly what she’s eating. On top of this, her birth mother (she’s adopted) did meth while she was pregnant and as a result, my daughter has an extremely low IQ and is classified as intellectually disabled, so trying to explain anything to her doesn’t do any good because she doesn’t understand. Has anyone ever experienced this issue, and if so, how did you help fix it? I’m completely at my wit’s end, and I just don’t know how to help her.


She probably has encopresis. It might not be her fault.


First all my heart goes out to you because your an amazing loving parent❤️Bless you
I would honestly just have her wear kid/smallAdult pull ups… maybe help a little bit with not making quite a big of a mess.


My son had accidents till 6. It was frustrating but eventually it stopped.

It’s a terrible thing to deal with but part of having a child with a physical abnormality/disability. I personally wouldn’t punish her, that’s just setting her up for emotional and psychological problems to go with the physical ones. I can’t imagine having to change a 7 year old or older daily, I feel for you!


Sounds like it’s not her fault and you need a new doctor. Maybe have her wear pull ups for now but definitely get different opinions.


look up ‘encopresis’. If she is prone to digestive issues, she may have chronic constipation. This leads to fecal matter leaking past the blockage. It’s not an easy thing to fix, as her colon may be stretched and need repair. Treatment is usually an extended course of laxatives, regular sitting on the toilet, possibly enemas, and in severe cases, hospital stays for clean outs.


Start having her wear pull ups to help with mess, it’s quite possibly not her fault. Dont make a big deal out of it, just use them instead of panties. If she doesn’t like them, make a goal out of no accidents so she can graduate back out of them.


Dont punish her for something she cannot help. Get a second opinion.


My 9 year old girl still does too.

if she’s intellectually disabled, this may be a lifelong issue which you, nor she-can control. Work with her and reward for “not” but stop punishing a developmentally disabled child for “accidents”. It’s like punishing a 90 year old with bladder and bowel issues—it’s humiliating and isn’t going to work, and will give the child self esteem issues


Do not mention it to her, it will make it worse. All kids develop at own pace. Leave it be. Clean it up, make the bed with a tarp to protect and instill hygiene. Pointing out flaws in behavior that isnt chosen behavior is cruel and she will internalize it. Tell her everyone and their bodies mature as they’re supposed to…build her self esteem!

1 Like

I think reaching out to a special needs group for this question will get better tips and tricks she may just be developmentally delayed in this area and those momma’s who have dealt with high needs or special needs kiddos have probably been through this


It’s ok to have her wear pull-ups and to be discrete. Don’t worry about her age. Even though she is 7, her mind is not. You dont even need to explain why she is wearing them. It will save her humiliation and give you a sense of security.


Been dealing with the same issue for 13 years & my daughter was just diagnosed with ulceractive colitis. Saw a GI specialist her whole life. & now has to take mirlax everyday

1 Like

Might look at the juice. Juice caused issues with my child.


My sister was the same way when she was younger, except for the Meth part
She had BM accidents daily no matter how much she was toileted. Momma took her to a different Dr and he discovered that the muscle in her rectum was the issue. (She didn’t feel the sensation that she needed to have a BM)
It’s been 40+ years ago so I’m unsure of what they done to correct it. But maybe mention the rectum muscle to her PCP

Well first off, being a drug exposed person myself as well as adopted because of it, it’s not her fault. Have you talked to her? Can she feel when it’s time to poop? Can you explain to her that when she feels a certain way it’s her body telling her it’s time to use the potty?

As a kid I had bladder control problems that were secondary to the drugs my bio mom used while pregnant with me. It took a while for me to not have accidents, but it was nowhere near my fault. Take her to get every test done to try to figure this out and if you don’t like the answers you get, go elsewhere and get another opinion.


My kiddos are adopted too and my oldest used pooping as a control mechanism. She eventually out grew it but it was the one thing in her life she could control.
Kids love stickers have you tried a weekly sticker chart? She gets a sticker to place on her paper every time she poops in the potty.
Idk if she is in special education classes or not but they can continue the sticker chart at school too.

Dont punish her…get a new dr, the one you currently see has given up so she needs to be replaced by someone who cares.