My 7-year-old daughter refuses to wear underwear, saying it’s uncomfortable. This has been going on for about a year now… but it’s escalated to screaming & crying tantrums.
I told her if we are at home, it’s fine… but it definitely needs to be worn when we go out. She is at the point where she wears PJ shorts under dresses, but for school, I don’t think that’s appropriate.
She’s worn the same shorts for days in a row and got them out of the dirty clothes to sneak them with her to school. I’m losing my mind…what the heckkkkkk??? She will make herself late for school, flipping out about not wearing them.
I can’t deal with this anymore; I’m at a loss of where to turn. I’m going to bring it up at her doctor’s appt. next month, but I can’t keep living like this; her outbursts disrupt the whole family. Helppp!!!"
RELATED QUESTION: Where Can I Find Underwear to Fit My Daughter?
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“You need to be more firm!!! You are giving her the option (a choice) to not wear them at home when actually she needs to listen and wear them at home too. Because if not, then that is what is making harder!!! Maybe take away things she really likes until she can listen and do as told!!!”
“Buy her some boxers and boxer briefs and see if she likes those better than panties.”
“Anybody else concerned…? Maybe she should see a doctor. Underwear shouldn’t be so uncomfortable that you’re bawling because you have to put them on. This seems like a red flag to me.”
“Why? Why is it so important she wear underwear? Pick your battles. It is not hurting her wearing underwear. She has drawn line in the sand saying ‘this is important to me I make this choice.’ Talk to her about it. Find out why it’s important to her and maybe let her have this for a bit and then readdress it later in a month or so if it’s that important to you. I don’t wear underwear, several have mentioned but studies have shown that underwear can hold in heat and moisture and cause more issues.”
“Could be a sensory processing issue… Could be a control thing too… Take her shopping. Empower her to choose something she might feel more comfortable in. Give her options and let her make the final choice. Girls’ boxers, boy shorts, etc… whatever works.”
“Buy the boy short underwear for girls. Don’t call them underwear or panties and tell her they are special shorts for kids who don’t like underwear.”
“So buy her boy short type underwear? Is it really that big of a deal that she’s more comfortable in shorts? Maybe listen to your kid.”
“If she is just finding panties uncomfortable, I would ask what makes them uncomfortable to rule out a UTI or anything medical and then if it’s literally just the panties but her boy short underwear or boxers. Maybe she had sensory processing disorder and they feel painful or too unbearably scratchy. My youngest daughter is autistic and has a sensory processing disorder and won’t tolerate many different types of clothing. Definitely not diagnosing your child as autistic, but you don’t have to be autistic to have sensory processing disorder. Talk it out with her. It’s her body, she should be able to let you know why and choose an alternative.”
“Honestly, as long as you are washing her clothes daily and she isn’t wearing a dress I don’t see the big deal if she doesn’t wear underwear. It’s probably a sensory issue.”
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