My 7-Year-Old Refuses to Wear Underwear and Screams if I Make Her Try: Advice?

QUESTION:

My 7-year-old daughter refuses to wear underwear, saying it’s uncomfortable. This has been going on for about a year now… but it’s escalated to screaming & crying tantrums.

I told her if we are at home, it’s fine… but it definitely needs to be worn when we go out. She is at the point where she wears PJ shorts under dresses, but for school, I don’t think that’s appropriate.

She’s worn the same shorts for days in a row and got them out of the dirty clothes to sneak them with her to school. I’m losing my mind…what the heckkkkkk??? She will make herself late for school, flipping out about not wearing them.

I can’t deal with this anymore; I’m at a loss of where to turn. I’m going to bring it up at her doctor’s appt. next month, but I can’t keep living like this; her outbursts disrupt the whole family. Helppp!!!"

RELATED QUESTION: Where Can I Find Underwear to Fit My Daughter?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

“You need to be more firm!!! You are giving her the option (a choice) to not wear them at home when actually she needs to listen and wear them at home too. Because if not, then that is what is making harder!!! Maybe take away things she really likes until she can listen and do as told!!!”

“Buy her some boxers and boxer briefs and see if she likes those better than panties.”

“Anybody else concerned…? Maybe she should see a doctor. Underwear shouldn’t be so uncomfortable that you’re bawling because you have to put them on. This seems like a red flag to me.”

“Why? Why is it so important she wear underwear? Pick your battles. It is not hurting her wearing underwear. She has drawn line in the sand saying ‘this is important to me I make this choice.’ Talk to her about it. Find out why it’s important to her and maybe let her have this for a bit and then readdress it later in a month or so if it’s that important to you. I don’t wear underwear, several have mentioned but studies have shown that underwear can hold in heat and moisture and cause more issues.”

“Could be a sensory processing issue… Could be a control thing too… Take her shopping. Empower her to choose something she might feel more comfortable in. Give her options and let her make the final choice. Girls’ boxers, boy shorts, etc… whatever works.”

“Buy the boy short underwear for girls. Don’t call them underwear or panties and tell her they are special shorts for kids who don’t like underwear.”

“So buy her boy short type underwear? Is it really that big of a deal that she’s more comfortable in shorts? Maybe listen to your kid.”

“If she is just finding panties uncomfortable, I would ask what makes them uncomfortable to rule out a UTI or anything medical and then if it’s literally just the panties but her boy short underwear or boxers. Maybe she had sensory processing disorder and they feel painful or too unbearably scratchy. My youngest daughter is autistic and has a sensory processing disorder and won’t tolerate many different types of clothing. Definitely not diagnosing your child as autistic, but you don’t have to be autistic to have sensory processing disorder. Talk it out with her. It’s her body, she should be able to let you know why and choose an alternative.”

“Honestly, as long as you are washing her clothes daily and she isn’t wearing a dress I don’t see the big deal if she doesn’t wear underwear. It’s probably a sensory issue.”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

69 Likes

Have you tried making underwear fun? She has to believe it’s her own idea to wear them
Maybe let her choose a type she likes or thinks is cute?

1 Like

What if you try different underwear? Like boxer type

11 Likes

Have you tried different style underwear?

1 Like

Can u not get her boy shorts panties?

6 Likes

Do you use fabric softener? The could just be rough feeling.

1 Like

Try taking her to the store and letting her pick out which ones she wants and tell her when she picks that they are to be worn

2 Likes

Have you tried seamless underwear? Xx

6 Likes

Buy her some boxers and boxer briefs and see if she likes those better than panties.

11 Likes

Maybe she will like boy short undies for girls, they are comfortable

6 Likes

Have you tried different style underwear or different size? If you haven’t already, maybe make it fun. Take her to the store and let her pick out her own underwear. Also you could try finding a fun picture book to read together that is about wearing underwear.

2 Likes

Boy shorts girls underwear

1 Like

Try different underwear, it could be she just doesn’t like a certain type. If she’s wanting to wear shorts maybe try some boxer briefs or even just boxers. My daughter at a young age, must of only been I think 4/5 and she liked boxers for a bit.

1 Like

When I was preteen I wore boy shorts. For a while it was the most comfortable for me

1 Like

Try a different style - boy shorts, or different cut, size

2 Likes

Who cares if she doesn’t want to wear underwear?
Help her find appropriate clothing for that choice and she’ll be fine? I hate wearing underwear myself and can’t imagine forcing someone to wear it. There are so many options here for what you can do, I feel like you will have so many battles to fight in time you get with your child why would this be one of them?
Also your reaction is probably escalating the situation

18 Likes

Take her shopping so she can pick out her own underwear, at least she’s wearing underwear.

She might not like the style and fit of the underwear she has, and might like it looser. Get her a size or two up and boxer-style undies.

2 Likes

My girl will only wear boxers…

Omg my 7 year old son is on this kick like dude you cant go to school free balling.

7 Likes