My 7 year old still has accidents: Advice?

I have a soon to be the seven-year-old girl who still has almost daily accidents and wets the bed every night. She’s hasn’t successfully gone a full week without accidents in years. When we first potty trained at 2.5-3, she was excellent and even stopped bed wetting, but then she started getting reoccurring UTI’s(common with the women on my side), and she never improved from there. She’s seen multiple Dr’s, who just kept telling me she would stop when she’s ready… She finally saw a urologist a few months ago, did an ultrasound, came back normal. The urologist said it’s normal to not be potty trained until six years old… to use Miralax for three months straight to “reset” her bowels. I’ve used Miralax for weeks at a time in the past with her, and it’s never worked. I can’t get her to consume enough liquid, I think, to have it work. I have done reward systems, and that just causes her to lie so she can get what she wants without actually doing it. I’ve done timers, I’ve had her clean up her own messes, I’ve taken tv and tablets away. Her sisters are beginning to despise her because she keeps peeing on all of their furniture, and she doesn’t care. The only rule I even have left with her anymore is that if she has an accident, to not sit in dirty clothes… I’m at my wit’s end. She won’t do anything else. I feel life a failure that I can’t get her to be better. Idk what else to do. If anyone has any experience or words of wisdom, please, please share them. I feel so alone with this issue.

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How does she do at school or with friends? If she handles in those situations I’d say it’s a grab for attention so stop giving it to her. If she doesn’t then I’d look into alternative treatments for her, she may have lost her urge sensation due to UTI’s. Sorry it’s a tough one to figure out!

I would put pull-ups on her. I’m 30 years old and I have bladder problems and my whole family was tired of me peeing on the furniture it’s not like I could help it so I just got adult diapers

A few years back I knew a 'kid’s who did this, at 13 was still wetting the bed. Turns out it was a hormone problem, their body wasn’t telling them they needed to go. Doctor prescribed some tablets and it never happened again

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My 5 to be years old son wet his bed only at night lets say one or twice a week any advice for me works too

Try reducing refined sugars and flours in her diet. My daughter’s urologist recommended it as it is bowel impaction that affected her continence. It worked. It cleaned her out after a couple weeks and her incontinence did improve.

My daughter wasn’t potty trained at night until she was nearly 8. I never punished. I started layering sheets and bed liners so when there was an accident, we could just strip a layer and go back to sleep. But, I did not have issues when she was awake. Other than pull ups, I have no advice. I wish you luck. But, have you had her blood sugar checked? Frequent urination can be a sign of diabetes.

She may need to see a counselor for an underlying issue. My son was having problems as well and after he started seeing the counselor he stopped.

Perhaps there a underlying issue. From my personal experience i had a child that did this but it down to epilepsy and was having up to 100 fits day and night. Maybe just talk to doctor again. Xx

Sounds more like she’s doing this on purpose and I’ve met a few older kids that have done this. Acting out, wants attention, being too lazy.

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My son still wet the bed until he was 10 . But no accidents durning the day

No fluids before bedtime

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Cut off her liquid intake at 7pm or 2 hours before she goes to bed. That way she can go to sleep with out peeing the bed.

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My daughter had this problem until almost the age of 9. Her brain was not waking her to go pee. Her bladder was not growing properly. She had to have it stretched and all bed wetting stopped.

Stress can be a factor, meaning she knows how you feel about it, and react to it.
Also, we found out with one of my kids that he had a reflux backing up into his kidneys. You have to do a test where they place a catheter in, and use dye…can’t remember what the test was called but it was done because of frequent UTIs. Ended up having surgery, put in a stent of some sort.

Talk to her maybe something is happening in her life that’s causing her to wet the bed

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Try a counselor
She may be hiding some form of abuse from you.

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Do whatever the medical experts advised you to do dont shame her dont leave her dirty clean her up use pull ups and look after yourself too worrying is not good for you children are all different id one who had accidents and another one who came out of nappys and never wet herself or had any accidents the nurse did tell me kids sometimes hop on and off the toilet doing a bit each time they dont always sit on the toilet and finish in one trip

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The cutting off liquids before bed doesn’t work for everyone. Esp if it is hormonal or they are deep sleepers.

There is usually an underlying issue. First is to see if she does this outside the home (sleepovers, other family) then try to go from there. She could be a deep sleeper. If so, she may not be triggered to wake up. It’s not always a bad reason they wet the bed. It’s hard.

Not all kids are lazy…however, some are. It’s frustrating.

Before you continue with threats, punishment. See if there is abuse, or something psychological. Maybe she needs to speak to someone privately.

Personally, I wouldn’t shame her or embarrass her in front of anyone. Esp not knowing what it going on.

Good luck.

Ps: are you p uh tying pull ups or something to help in case she does? Or just let her wet everything and self??

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Further testing may need to be done. Both my kids who are 13 and 8 are seeing a specialist that figured out the issue when other doctors did not. I’ve tried everything that has been mentioned and nothing worked. It has nothing to do with their intake or acting out. Please do not punish or get upset with her. Feel free to pm me and I can go into more detail about what has helped with my two. It also helps to find the right doctor to listen.