I am at my wits end here. My son is eight years old. He’s been horribly stubborn and hateful for months, going as far as trying to hit his father and me when we ask him (repeatedly) to clean up his room. He’s hoarded food (which has gone moldy by the time we’ve found it), food wrappers, garbage in general, and destroys his room. He’ll throw his stuff up in the air and let it stay where it lands. He’ll leave his dirty clothes anywhere (yes, I understand that’s pretty typical of a boy). It’s becoming unbearable. Yesterday I found a stolen pack of locks from the dollar store; he said he wanted some of his own. I made him take them back to the store and apologize. This isn’t his first time stealing. Nothing we say or do seems to get through to him. We have taken pretty much everything out of his room, removed his door because he’s constantly slamming his door in our faces, and it hasn’t made a lick of a difference. All manner of punishment hasn’t gotten through to him; we’ve tried nearly everything! We also warned him that Santa wouldn’t bring him anything if he doesn’t behave and listen, and even went as far as having Santa wrote to him to reiterate that fact. Still nothing. He doesn’t want to leave cookies out for Santa now because, quote: “he’s being mean by not bringing me presents.” We have to stick by the no presents, or he isn’t going to take us seriously, and it breaks my heart. My mother says it isn’t fair for him because he’ll see his sister open presents. Someone, please tell me that I’m doing the right thing by sticking to my guns! I really need some support. I feel guilty enough, but I see no other option. I feel like I’m losing my mind here.
Stand your ground.
It’s going to be a tough day, but if that’s what you used as a punishment that’s what you need to do
Stick to it!! He has to know to take you seriously. These ages are where they really test and push to see what they can do and not do. I’d also take him to see a counselor there could be other things he’s acting out about and not wanting to talk to you about.
So you’ve punished him and it hasn’t helped so you thought you’d punish him some more. Maybe it’s time to look at your parenting?
Stick to it! My mom was hard on us growing up but gave into my brother for everything… he became a drop out in like middle school and still hasn’t gotten it together. I got a call from county jail at 7:30am Sunday morning from him and it broke my heart that I couldn’t do anything but it angered me so much that I said some things to my mother and blamed her for enabling him most of his life. It hurts and angers me that I want so much more for him but he has to want it too.
Moral of the story is say what you mean and mean what you say regardless of what anyone else thinks or says. If he chooses the wrong path when he’s of age then at least you can say he wasn’t raised that way and those choices became his own although you didn’t approve and he was disciplined accordingly.
Have u had him tested for adhd and sensory processing disorder?
You are doing the right thing. Do not reward bad behaviour.
My kids were stealing so i took em to the police station and let a police officer talk with them and scare them… We dont have a problem in that area anymore… Stick to your punishments hes old enough to know right from wrong…
You got this, sounds like you are doing everything you can to try and calm the situation, stick to your guns it will start to stick hopefully sooner rather than later
Honestly your going probably make it worse and he will remember not getting anything for years to come. It sound likes he needs to talk to someone and they need to provide you with ways to handle him before he gets out more out of control.
Stand your ground i also have a 8 year old too maybe get him tested for adhd or add praying for your family it gets hard some times
I hope you have things for him when he starts behaving. Positive reinforcement is a must with children. My opinion though is taking Christmas away completely is harsh, he’s 8 years old.
Knock him on his butt first!! LolThen call and have him evaluated. He sounds miserable and unable to handle life
Him not having presents will make it waaaaay worse.
Have you tried resetting to factory settings?
Don’t give him any presents. And after he sees his sister open hers tell him he can earn his presents back. That way he is the one making the choice. Even if he is ADHD etc…he can still know right from wrong. I am very familiar with special needs going on 8+years and a child having a disability does not mean they can’t learn to behave properly. It may take longer and take extra like therapy, meds etc…but they can learn with consistency. Make him responsible now before he has to learn it in jail as an adult.
Take him to therapy there may be something going on at school. He may be being bullied and doesn’t show it any other way. Maybe he’s jealous of a friends life. Therapy could help exponentially and you may be able to find the root of the problem! Keep up with discipline tho. You have to stick to the rules you set for him no matter what. If he steals again, call the police and explain what happened. They may come to the store and have a chat with him about stealing. Sometimes you can get a “tour” of a jail for him so he can see what will happen if he doesn’t stop.
Y’all are nuts. Why use Christmas as a punishment cause you fail to enforce boundaries all year? Have Christmas and start following through on your expectations. He wants to be a slob go in his room each day and make him pick up all his shit. If food is shoved around molding you are not being vigilant enough.
Pull his pants down and get mean
It sounds like he might be really depressed or feeling ignored. Do you all do anything fun together or is it just y’all giving him orders & being frustrated all the time?