My Baby's Father Wants Nothing to Do With Me or Baby: Should I Fight for Child Support?

QUESTION:

"The father of my unborn child didn’t want the baby when we found out I was pregnant. We were only friends with benefits, and now he basically acts like me and the baby don’t exist.

I’m upset because I thought he’d be there for me as he said in the beginning that he’d always step up if he got someone pregnant, but now that I’m six months along, I’m worried. But if he’s not gonna help me raise it, should I ask for child support?"

RELATED QUESTION: Should I Drop the Child Support Case Against My Ex?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

“This also happened to me and let me tell you it is SO much easier to just move on with your life and be the absolute best parent you can be. Don’t put him on the birth certificate and don’t take him to court for child support. Best choice of my life not having done that because I don’t have to worry about him trying to pull anything and take my son from me.”

“You were friends with benefits. He probably didn’t sign up for this. Kinda naive to expect something from someone when the situation was clear in the first place. I mean that’s not an excuse for him to have an out but you both were consenting adults and knew what would happen. Prepare to be a single mom.”

“You were a friend with benefits. If you wanted to lock you down, he would have. Please, just leave it. For the child’s sake. You don’t want his permission for every choice you make for the child. He has made his feelings clear. Move on. Be the best mother you can be.”

“Honestly, I’m going through this right now too. The baby is a depo baby and I knew going into it he didn’t want kids so I wasn’t shocked when he chose not to be involved. Cut your losses and just raise baby the best you can. Just because you file doesn’t mean he will pay it. I have no intention of filing or putting him on the birth cerificate. That was his choice so I’m honoring it. And trust me, it’s a lot easier that way down the line.”

“The father of my son told me he ruined his life. I was 21, my son is now 10 and we have had an amazing man who has been his daddy since he was 2. We don’t deal with child support or anything because if he didn’t want to be a part of it I didn’t want him providing us money so he could decide one day he had rights. It worked for us. My son doesn’t have daddy issues, but I’ve also always been honest with him about it. Things don’t always work.out the way you plan hun but its not always a bad thing.”

“If he doesn’t want to man up to be a dad, tell him to sign the papers and give all rights to you. No responsibility to you or your blessing and move on. Keep your head up and keep moving. You will be blessed with or without him.”

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1 Like

Def get child support. Its so unfair that the men get to decide that they don’t want to be a parent when they’re just as responsible for creating another life. The least he could have done is wear a condom if he didn’t want a child so the next least thing he can do is pay child support.

6 Likes

I would take this as a blessing in disguise and drop him from your life.

12 Likes

Everyone has a right to decide if they want to be a parent or not. You can’t make him be a dad any more than you can make a woman be a mom if they don’t want to. If you want to keep the baby, take him to court and have him release all his parental rights to you. Then keep living your life with your baby. This will prevent him taking you to court further down the road when he decides he does want to be a parent. Either he is in from the beginning or he is out!

15 Likes

Yes of course. He has to be responsible even if it is just economically. What is my personal belief is that I will not force anyone who does not want to be part of my child’s life to be in it. But he is still responsible for child support because if he didn’t want a child her should have worn a condom or had a vasectomy. Birth control is a two street.

Take
Him to court for support and enjoy your new love :heart:

2 Likes

Your child has the right to have financial support from the father. But let go of the dream that he will help you raise the child and get on with life without him around. Enjoy your baby.

7 Likes

If you need the financial support, then you’re only option is to go to court for child support. But also know that means he’s entitled to his rights as well still with visitation. If you don’t need the support, then I’d say drop his a** like a hot potato. I would still legally go to court and see if you can terminate his rights. However, from what I know, terminating parental rights isn’t as easy as people think. The judge decides to do what is in the best interest of the child. And a parent saying “I don’t want any kids” isn’t gonna fly in court. The judge will tell him that he should have wrapped it up x10 if that was the issue. Good luck!

3 Likes

Forget him, but get the child support.

Put him in child support asap it takes two to make a child but your going to raise the child by urself it’s not easy but it can be done

File for the child support. You will need it in the long run and kick him to the curb! He’s not much of a friend if he bailed on you. Stay strong, you can do this without him.

I agree.however she should’ve made him wear a condom!

Yup see if you can mine never paid

In order to get child support, he will have parental rights. I would just disappear from him rather than a legal nightmare, and you dont want him deciding anything for a child he doesn’t love

10 Likes

Draw up parental termination papers (which I dont think you can do until after the baby is born because I think they require a DNA test) and be rid of him… You can choose to live a happy peaceful life with your child or you can live a life of stress, battling for child support, and money in the courts, and a kid being forced on weekend visits with a man who doesn’t want it around unless he has a new girlfriend and needs the kid as an “I’m a great father” prop.

I say dont get involved in child support because what if he never pays and still has rights of his child andbone day just out of nowhere decides to take your child? It is better to cut off all ties from right now

5 Likes

He clearly said he didn’t want the child, you can’t hook him on the line for something he stated he wants no part of, if he’s smart he will walk into court and sign his rights off, then he can’t be touched for a child he didn’t want. Really want to tell your child daddy supports you but doesn’t want you? Just walk away and take care of the child you wanted, many women have done it, my mom did! And so have I!

If he don’t want to be there then you don’t want him around period… That is how bad things happen…

4 Likes

Don’t put him on the birth certificate then if he wanted something to do with the kid he’ll have to take you for a paternity test and court . And in that case yes take him for child support but if he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby and you don’t need financial help , let him go …anyone who doesn’t want to be a parent will never do what’s best for the kid if they are forced .

11 Likes

The least SHE could have done was use birth control because obviously if he thought and knew they were friends with benefits why would you put yourself in the position to get Knocked Up

11 Likes