My best friends ex all the sudden doesn't want me around their daughter: help?

So my best friend and I have been spending a lot of time together since he and his child’s mother has been arguing a lot more than normal. This had been going on for three months now, and within those three months, he and I have developed feelings for each other. I have known and been around his daughter for the last three years (since she was 1), and her mother never cared until now. She is in another relationship now, and I am the first girl my friend will be with since his daughter was born since he wasn’t ready to date again anytime soon. We are both waiting until all this mess with the mother blows over since he feels like he can’t give me the time I deserve cause he is caught up in her mess. She is now demanding that I stay away from her daughter, and I have no right to see her while I am with my friend. I have offered many times for her to meet me and talk to me so she might feel comfortable with me being around her daughter, but she refuses. She is withholding her from him while he is still communicating with me. She is threatening to put a restraining order against me on her daughter to keep me away from my friend and his daughter. I have done nothing to this little girl, and I love her dearly. There is no parenting plan yet (we are getting one filed after the holidays since they both want to wait), so there is no way to keep her from withholding his daughter from her. My question is, if any of you mamas might have had a similar situation and how you handled it? I don’t ever intend on “replacing” her as a mom. She is a good mom; I just don’t understand why she is lashing out now when before she never cared.


My question would be what made her act this way towards you if you’ve never done anything wrong.


Jealousy… and if you truly never did anything they won’t approve of a restraining order


Most of the time its using a child as a pawn for these types of mothers and includes fathers. Its control.


She might be just being petty and childish but she is the kid’s mother and you’re just a friend of the father. If thats what the mother want there’s nothing “we” (you) can do about it. She can’t just file a restraining order against you for no reason so I wouldn’t worry about that too much


She is the bitter mom making it hard in court for those of us actually trying to protect our children from dangerous other parents :woman_facepalming: I think it’s amazing that you are willing to meet with her or even talk to her. It’s so frustrating when my exes new girls dont even smile back. :rofl: I am mom. Period. But if you’re gonna be around my kid, I’d like to know you’re at least a kind enough person to fake a smile at me when they are watching you! Shes just jealous. Probably scared and jealous more about you being around the kid, not the guy. It’s scary having someone new in the picture, in any capacity! Reality is tho, its dads time, its dads decision who he has around the child and mom can’t do anything about it. Losing that control is hard too. Just keep being kind!


I used to be that woman. I was scared my daughter would replace me with her and I was so upset to see my ex happy with someone else because he wasnt happy with me… but my daughter loves her stepmom and it helps when I need a break from everything to know that she is well taken care of.
Give her time. Shell either be forced to give up or she will see your side of it all.


Once a court order is put in place you need to make sure the fact that he addresses with the judge that she is threatening you for no reason. And if it’s starting with you, shes probably going to keep doing it to anyone he tries dating. But the judge will tell her that she has no control over who he brings around her when he has her and the parenting plan will be in place so she cannot withhold his daughter

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She also cant withhold the child because of you…best for him to keep record of how often she withholds the child and he needs to let her know that he is keeping record of withholding visitation and they he will present it to court, it is illegal to withhold visitation without a valid and just reason.


Not you place to put yourself in the middle of this mess. You are a friend, that is all. Stay away when the daughter is around.


She’s just being salty. She will get over it. I’d be salty too. Cant lie. I’d feel dumb like maybe something was going on the whole time? Soon she wont care. Maybe, unless they get back together then you will be ghosted.

Well, if Mom is in a new relationship, that could be why. Some people just don’t want or know how to be happy and how to handle kids when the couple splits and someone else comes in to play. Jealousy is a nasty witch. Is dad on the birth certificate? If so go to family court or family services and see what they suggest. If he is on it then he gets his child back. Unless he wasn’t put on he can file for the child especially if he or you think something else is going on at Mom’s🤷. It is holiday time right now so mom may be jealous that you all get to spend time as a family for the holidays also.

You don’t have any rights to the child. You don’t even call this person your boyfriend just a friend…I really don’t think it is your place to get involved in any of this. For you to say “we” are getting the court involved or whatever is kinda crazy to me. “We” ain’t doing nothing. Their business is not your business. Sorry but that’s the truth. It’s the dad’s place to go to court or work stuff out for his daughter or whatever. Has nothing to do with you. You should step away from this whole situation let them sort it out.


My ex husband tried to put demands on me. The court deemed me fit to make decisions including who was around my child, so ex was told to back off. Now if you were an addict or something then the bio mom might have a leg to stand on, but from what you have written it just seems like spit. Good luck and well wishes to you all.

To me it sounds like you came into this relationship to early and she caught him at it. How sure of his truth are you.?


Honestly, from personal experience, since there is nothing legal in place, both mom and dad have equal rights to the child. If you are around the child when she is with her dad, there is nothing that can be done about it. Her withholding the child from him will show negatively against her in court when or if it ever gets to that point. Just be as respectful as possible, but also supportive. It all eventually blows over


Sounds to me like you played a part in breaking up her family. Couples argue. He ran to you instead of the mother of his child. That’s very telling behavior. If you want what’s best for him, let him sort all this out without you in the way. You aren’t being fair to him, the ex, the child, or yourself. You put yourself in the middle of a relationship that wasn’t yours to meddle in and impeded the growth of a family. Maybe you’re his friend, but that will ALWAYS be the mother of his child. So don’t push your luck. You’ve done enough.


Back off and get the divorce etc. Handled. Give the x time to calm down and time for him to not be married.

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Give her time. She’s going through a lot and perhaps feels betrayed by you and your boyfriend. Give them space and you should just step back while they figure out their situation with their child. It’s none of your business, friend or girlfriend… know your place.

Give them space to figure it out.

Shes jealous. Whether shes in a relationship or not she wants to control him. They wont put a restraining order on you unless there is a legitimate reason. Shes using the child against him to keep him from “moving on” and that’s fucked up
My daughters father can sleep with who ever he wants but if I even talk to someone it’s a huge problem and I’m a hoe :roll_eyes: I took him fo a job interview Monday afternoon and yesterday he was threatening to beat me again, call my job and fuck with my car. Hes only happy when I’m doing something that would benefit him in anyway.