My best friends mom has always been like a mom to me, but lately she has made rude comments: Advice?

My family and I have not really been close (don’t get me wrong, they love my kids to death. But as far as just myself, we’ve never really had a bond if that makes sense), so her family has always welcomed me with open arms. But ever since I’ve had my son, she’d make nasty comments about things that I do as a mom. 2 examples; once I was hanging with my best friend (her daughter) and my son wasn’t with me. Honestly, I feel like every mom needs a break. So, if my family offers to watch my son while I go hang out or whatever I need to do, I’m taking it. Especially since I’m still kind of a new mom so ( 1st son is 11 months, 2nd is even baking :relieved:) I still have the tendency to sometimes get overwhelmed. But anywho, she made me feel so bad for it! She said, “you’re not a bad mom for needing a break, you’re a bad mom for taking it” … there was also an incident yesterday where I was with them with my son, and we went out to firehouse subs. I gave him a little bit of my sub (he’s a little fattie :joy::woman_shrugging:t5:), and he got constipated. I’m assuming it was because of the cheese. But we were speaking about it and her kind of scorned me about it, or at least that’s how I felt. She made it a big deal. Not to say it wasn’t, because who wants their child to be constipated?! But I just felt like it was blown so out of proportion. Saying things like “y’all suck” (referring to my self and her other daughter, we’re both young moms) and pushing that I need to use kayro syrup when I really don’t feel a need to and just giving out advice that’s not warranted. My son has a sensitive stomach, so constipation happens a bit more often for him as I’m trying to introduce more foods in his diet. I have so much going on in my life, and I’m already made out to be this monster for having kids so young and on top of that having them back to back, so I don’t need any more negativity. I love her, but lately, I’ve just been feeling some negative and… sorta hateful vibes. Should I feel that way? What would y’all do if y’all were in this situation?

7 Likes

Talk to her about it, tell her how you feel and open communication

3 Likes

Since yall are close, talk to her about it. She may not know she is hurting your feelings. Everyone is going to give you unwanted advice, just gotta roll with it or tell them you don’t want it. It sounds like she may have some underlying feelings about your pregnancies and maybe if y’all had a heart to heart, she may see what she is doing to y’alls relationship

I mean simply say it’s my child, I’m gonna do as I see fit. I’d be mad if someone called me a bad mom for needing a break.

6 Likes

She is just being a grandma and is concerned about the baby. She probably doesn’t realize she is hurting you. Baby sounds like he might be lactose intolerant contact doctor about it may have to avoid different foods and change his milk

1 Like

I would tell her how I feel. If you feel like it is mean or hurtful, say it. She may be able to say it to her daughter and it just roll off.

2 Likes

Talk with her about how it makes you feel… Breaks aren’t a bad thing! Hell I’m a single momma of two and if my family offers to watch them you bet your booty I’m taking that offer. Those are very rare for me to have.

It sounds like she’s saying it to her daughter too. She might not think that she’s out of the way in saying something. Talk to her, explain to her that she hurts your feelings when she makes comments.

1 Like

You need to talk to her about how you feel. Set some boundaries if need be.

Telling you you’re a bad mom for taking a break you needed is beyond uncalled for. You need to tell her that it’s not acceptable to speak to you that way

5 Likes

Remember that she was born and had kids during the time that everyone thought after someone has kids their lives need to always revolve around said children. But calling you a bad mom for actually taking a break is not okay, I also feel like maybe she’s a bit jealous cause she never got a break. As for what happened with the sub, he’s your child and you have every right to feed him whatever you like (obviously within reason for his age), and she, again, is just projecting what she was taught or how she raised her children. If she’s really important to you, sit her down and tell her how you feel. If she doesn’t care, then you aren’t as close as you thought and I would suggest stepping back from that relationship.

1 Like

Talk to her, but yeah that is messed up. It’s okay to take breaks and have people watch your son and it’s okay to feed your son a bite of you sandwich (I feed my 7 month old bites of my food as long as its soft enough so shes had burgers and chicken since she was 5 months)and I take the break too when the family offers too. You’re an amazing mom so don’t let her bother you, but speak up to her and make sure she knows he is your son and if she doesn’t like it then you’d rather her remain silent. That’s what I believe anyways

It isnt her business how you parent and she should be told that. They are your kids and you raise them how you want. She knows she is making the remarks and she wants a reaction

Maybe take some time away and time from speaking. Might put things in perspective and maybe shes mad and being passive aggressive. I’d just take time away and see if things change. Time might also give you thought on how to go about communicating these issues.

Your son isn’t even one and you need a break ? Heck I probably would have laughed at that one too. Just wait it gets harder lol. And you intentionally fed the baby food that he should not eat which messed with his belly. Can’t say that’s a bad mom but that was a stupid decision but I pawn it off as it should be a lesson learned. She is not wrong in her opinions but she could be nicer about delivery but you are an adult and people shouldn’t have to sugar coat everything for you either. You are a NEW Mom who has made some weary choices already which means maybe you should take the advice and use it wisely. Not all advise is wise but common sense will tell ya which is useful. Anytime a child is constipated you should help the child and the syrup helps whether you feel he needs it or not as he’s the one having issues pooping not you 🤷

3 Likes

Maybe she’s feeling overwhelmed with you going around so much when her house and plate are full of her own …
Do you , dont overstay welcomes

1 Like

Maybe it’s your own insecurities making you feel bad, if feeding your little was innocent who cares what she says just let it roll off. As for leaving your kid with family how often are you doing it? If rarely who cares what she says. I have a step son and he and his girlfriend never have there baby he is always with someone else. Right now leaving them with family seems good but it will real its ugly head later when the kids get older and you can’t discipline them because everyone else has a say in what they do.

I’d tell her in the nicest way that what she says is hurtful and is counterproductive. Idc how old she is or if she sees herself as helping you…she isn’t she is being rude and nasty. These kind of behaviors are NOT checked and that’s why she’s a rude old tart

Sounds to me like Mom has some resentment towards both of you girls ( her daughter too) for being irresponsible and getting pregnant so young and then wanting and needing everyone’s help to do everything then saying you need a “Break” Her & your Mom are Grandparents now and her daughter probably lives with her , maybe you live with yours idk. But being in a position where your still raising your child and then they have a child ( both of yall) then guess where the ultimate burden goes… to the real Adult in all this… Now they not only have to make sure your alright and taught and yalls needs are meet… now they also have those same things for their grandchildren because yall were so young… She’s probably tired, worried and doing most of the work…

1 Like

Maybe your just hormonely unbalanced being pregnant taking everything to heart let it slide but if it happens to much you need to talk to your friend or her mum

1 Like