My boyfriend and I argue about marriage and kids: Advice?

My boyfriend and I have been together four years this coming March; I have a ten-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. A constant topic we tend to kind of argue about a lot is marriage, and having a kid together of our own. He does not have any kids himself. I’ll be 28 this April, and he will be 30 in September, and I’m just starting to feel like we’re at that age where we should be trying for a family. He makes it very clear that he doesn’t want marriage or a kid anytime soon, maybe in the next couple of years, is what he’s thinking. I love him so much, and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I just feel like, after this long, he should be ready. Am I wrong? I never want to push or force a kid on anyone, it’s just starting to get to me how I want to start trying for a kid, and he doesn’t. I absolutely do not want to wait, but he does. No judgment please I already feel bad because I talk about it to him all the time. I guess I’m just looking for some opinions. Please, and thank you.


After four years he isn’t sure??? Walk away.


If it’s been 4 years and this dude still doesn’t want to get married, he isn’t sure about you and I absolutely wouldn’t have a child with him. Do not be disillusioned.


Uhm why force him into something he makes very clear he doesn’t want? That Will only lead to resentment


I would sit down to have discussion with him to find out what he really wants if he even wants the same things that you do. After 4 years of being together and at 30 he should be ready. If he can’t honestly tell you he sees married life and kids without you coaxing…as hard as it will be you need to walk away as you can’t change something someone doesn’t want.


Get packing, sis. Do it now while you’re young. Don’t waste your best years on someone who knows that he doesn’t want you.


I was in a relationship like this. The guy was much older than me. He kept stressing he didn’t wanna start over with kids. I wanted one more kid. Don’t stay and think you can make someone want what u want. Maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship and see if it’s worth staying. Long story short. I got married two years after that relationship and have a child with my husband. I had to see that my views and wants shouldn’t be put aside to please someone else. Maybe that’s something you can think about.

Run girl run. He is being honest and If you want something different then stop wasting time and thinking he won change his mind…he won’t


Yes, you are wrong. Who are you to decide when another person should be ready for ANYTHING!
I wouldnt want to commit to you either.


Hes already told u what he wants and your still not listening. You either really accept it or move on.


You need to face the facts that he may never want what you want. You choose either make yourself happy and find someone that want the things you want or stay with him and never get a commitment or kids . I would be gone life is too short to live by someone else’s rules, make yourself happy :smiley:


Some ppl are simply terrified of that kind of commitment and some are in need if it. If thhe relationship is working as is, why put a wrench in the spokes? Let it be. Damn

Grown in different directions?

He is happy with the way things are and has told you so. Listen to him. You either deal with not having another kid or move on.


He’s telling you his truth. You have to really listen, he’s telling you everything you need to know. Your not going to change him. If you push him into something it will be a disaster. Please love yourself enough to be ok with walking away if you need to, for your sake and for your daughter.


He made it plain he doesn’t want a child except it or move on

I hate to break it to you but men like him only want all the amenities of a marriage without the commitment, I say it’s time to find someone who will give you what YOU want. No woman should have to wait and waste years of her good life for a man that has no intention of marrying you nor start a family with you. Run girl, the sooner the better!


Sounds like you both have different future sights with eachother. It’ll be just a waste of time and no sense in leading eachother on or forcing something onto someone else.


Clearly you both don’t want the same things. Sounds like its time to reevaluate your relationship.


Everyone has their own pace for things. He may never want kids, and that fine. Have a sit down about it, and if he is firm in not wanting what you want, you part ways.