My boyfriend and I hang out with his ex for the kids, but shes been acting like he is her boyfriend: Advice?

Recently my boyfriend and I have been spending a lot of time hanging out with the mother of his child and a friend of his that he’s known since grade school and dated very briefly in high school. We all take our kids to do things together, which is great, but my issue is with his friend. I genuinely like her as a person and enjoy her company; we’ve actually become quite close, but lately, I’ve started to notice that I don’t like the way she acts towards him. She treats him as if he’s her boyfriend instead of mine. I originally thought it was just in my head until my mom and aunt pointed it out to me yesterday, and now I just can’t get past it. She’s constantly leaning into him and touching him, and she’s always making inappropriate comments, like mentioning things she knows he likes in bed, and asking him to do things for her. She’s always pushing her youngest son off onto him, and he’s too polite to say no, so he ends up not being able to pay as much attention to his son or mine. Not to mention, she doesn’t discipline her son at all, so he’s a handful. She makes jokes about how he’s like a father to her kids, but you can tell she actually means it. She literally acts like he’s the father of her children, and they’re together, and I just don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know if she still has a feeling for him, or if she just doesn’t realize she’s doing it because they’ve known each other for so long, but it’s driving me crazy. I briefly mentioned it to him, but we were out with everyone and the kids, so we didn’t get the chance actually to talk about it. He did try to distance himself from her after I said something, but it’s like she gravitates towards him. We can’t just stop hanging out with her because his baby mom is good friends with her, and we try to do a lot of stuff together to make the situation as normal as possible for their son. Since he currently has his mom, his stepdad, his dad, and me in his life, we try to all do stuff together as a big family, but this other friend always gets invited to come along. I just have no idea what to do or how to approach this situation. It can’t keep going on like this because I’m afraid one day I’m just going to snap, and I don’t want to cause a whole big ordeal over this.

25 Likes

Okay now see, I’m crazy. I’d be telling that bitch she best back the fuck up before she got smacked the fuck up. :tipping_hand_woman:t3:

He needs to address it asap to her or to the baby mama. It is disrespectful to you. Maybe if HE addresses it to his childs mom and HOW IT MAKES HIM FEEL she will no longer invite the friend along or address it. Either way it needs to be done.

21 Likes

personally i cannot give u advice because it would be irresponsible lol what a whack job

20 Likes

She knows what she is doing . Try to limit time with her and ask the mom and stepdad if it can be just the four of you with the kids and without the 5th wheel… I can understand birthday parties etc BUT now that your bf is aware he needs to tell her to back off, and quit being so nice because she is walking all over him and disrespecting you !!

15 Likes

Can you talk to his ex about doing things without her? The friend doesn’t always have to go with you guys. I get that his ex and her are close but that doesn’t mean they have to do everything together. If that doesn’t work maybe just talk to her about it or have your boyfriend tell her to please stop the way she acts with him.

1 Like

Confront her about it with your husband standing there right next to you. Tell her that you feel what she is saying and doing is inappropriate and have your husband back you up. If he doesn’t back you up and also say it makes him uncomfortable then you know where he stands on the situation as well.

10 Likes

Have him bring it up to his other child’s mother that he wants to start doing things just as a family and even though she’s good friends with everyone, you don’t always want her around because it takes away from the kids that are actually his. Make it about the kids and not necessarily your feelings towards her now. And honestly if she does still get invited and is around, say something to her when you see her touch him like that. If he won’t say something then you saying something will throw her off and she’ll back off (or not)

5 Likes

Be ware , had a friend I started catching funny feelings about and noticing she was to in to my so and caught her messaging him wanting to have sex

5 Likes

Nope. Stop hanging with her.

1 Like

She definately wants him…and theres got to be a reason shes acting this way if hes not putting her in her place.

4 Likes

Oh my little girl looks like you got yourself into just a little bit of a pickle do not let her take control of you or your boyfriend let your boyfriend know you’re insecure about it and if he cares and loves you he’ll fix it he needs to fix it distance himself a little bit you stay in the sun for a little while longer even when you all are out doing stuff I wish you luck I hope things go well for him look after youLook after your house children I wish you all the luck on keep us informed

Your boyfriend needs to put her in her place…

7 Likes

Idt theres anything wrong with asking his kids mother not to invite the friend… Y’all are getting together to have family time for the kids I don’t see why her friend has to be part of it.

9 Likes

Who gives a shit if that’s his baby mommas best friend. He needs to man up and say she cant be around if shes going to act like that. He just has to make it sound like it’s a problem he has. Because you know females will jump to the "oh she’s jealous " bullshit.

HE needs to shut that behavior down asap

14 Likes

You both need to tell her to back off and he needs to tell her no when she palms her kids off on him and when she asks him to do stuff.

1 Like

I’m outspoken I’d explain why you felt awkward and go from there in front of everyone that way she can’t say you said something you didn’t 🤷

1 Like

Cut her off just ask them of you and them that’s it dont including her in anymore and have talk to your boyfriend about it to :woman_shrugging:. This sounds isnt good at all

He needs to be the one to be like yoooo back off. If she gets offended that’s her own issue

1 Like