My boyfriend and I's kids do not get along: Advice?

Siblings fight :woman_shrugging:t2: that’s just what kids do. Lay down the law and treat every kid the same with the same punishment for the same crime. For example, if one kid hits the other, the other gets to hit back just as hard one time, hitter is sent to their room, etc. Consistency is key

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I have 6 kids all by my husband and my kids do this every day.i was told it is one way that they try to Express their feelings because some kids don’t get exactly how to do it.

My parents use to make us hold hands facing each other and stand together until we all apologize for exactly what and said we were done fighting we couldn’t sit or stop holding hands until we did so
Don’t point out my kids or his kids it OUR kids and they will fight like siblings if they live like siblings make activities to bond talk to them figure out issues and nip bad behaviors with punishments stand in the corner hold hands do chores until they can be nice

they probably don’t feel connected enough and need some bonding time. the holidays are a great time for this. look into some good ideas for bonding activities for siblings and get them working together and finding the things they have in common. actively help them build a relationship, every day. step siblings do not spontaneously love each other, they need time and positive experiences to build a good relationship.

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My 4 kids are all mine and my husbands together and they do this ALL DAY LONG, so if anyone has good advice I’m all ears too lol

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When my son told me way later in his 20’s he said he reacted to how I reacted if I got mad or didn’t like them then he didn’t either They watch you and listen more than you ever know. If u love their kids and dad show it and they will do the same . Good Luck💜

My daughter got temporary custody of my granddaughter years ago when her and any of my daughters kids would miss behave she would sit them on the couch and she would sit in front of them on a chair and they ,would have to look at her for ten minutes if they still didn’t listen it would be longer, she would tell them if I don’t get the house cleaned because I had to sit here all day, then you can explain it to your dad. it wasn’t long and they stated listening.

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I have 2 daughters (11 and 13) and they like to bicker. That’s what they do. That’s what I did with my siblings and we are :100: blood related. Give them time.

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I’d need more info to give good advise. Siblings fight. Even though they’re not biologically related they’re living together as siblings. You & your bf put them together. They didn’t choose these relationships. You can’t expect them just to be friends. On the other hand does it seem that 1 bullies the other? Or is there a situation where there can be jealousy of the other parent? For example his child’s mom spoils him. Or your kids get to see their dad & his child doesn’t get to their mom? In other words try to figure out the source & work on that. Find a way to make the bullied or jealous child feel special. Listen to the kids even if you don’t want to hear what they’re saying.

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That’s natural to an extent but sounds like the whole family needs to build bonds…when my mom got remarried i did NOT like him but then we took a family vacation to Disney and did Universal too and he and I got along wonderfully…take a family vacation, or do family outings/activities that involve competition of kids vs parents…

Whoop that ass. Kids don’t run the house…wanna fight? Good night…

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OK just so you know its not because they are step siblings it’s because they are kids and it’s completely normal and honestly does not just happen at your house lol They are the same age also so going through the same stage of life. Don’t think of the kids as your kids and his kids think of them as just THE KIDS that might help you a bit to deal with the constant niggles. I do understand I have ID twin boys they are almost 12 and it feels they are always fighting but I know it’s just a phase and won’t always be the way. I have 9 in total ranging in ages 6 bio and 3 step.

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Id say maybe try to do some fun things with them as a family. My kids are full siblings & fight all day long as well. Theyve been in the house alot bc of this pandemic & i know its been alot on them… & yes, it is ‘our’ kids, not yours and his. It should be the problem vs you guys, not you against eachother. I hope it works out soon❤️

Don’t divide & basically have sides in this situation. Mom & her kids vs dad and his kids. Come together as parents and deal with this. Treat every child the same… mom and dad together as a team dealing with these problems.

Make them hug when it starts till everyone is quiet.

6 kids here…my husband had 3 when we met they are now (2 girls) 17 & 15 & (1boy) almost 13. Together a 9 year old (boy) and almost 6 year old (boy/girl twins). It is none stop arguing!! I’ve threatened to take everything out of their rooms and all they will have is a bed and their clothes and they won’t be leaving the room till they can get along. They’re kids…it’s unfortunately going to happen.

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My daughter and my son fight alll the time. From sun up to sun down. They are siblings, that’s what they do. I wouldn’t put a seperate “his kids”, “my kids” they are both of your kids if you, being adults are in a relationship with each other.

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2,6,&9 and you want them to get along lol those are all turbulent years and 6 - 9 is a big difference. Are they forced to hang out or anything? Honestly sounds like typical siblings going through it :cat:

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Sounds like regular siblings to me! My two always fight :joy:

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My kids fight all day long lol I thing it’s normal for some sibling rivalry