My boyfriend cheated a lot in the beginning of our relationship, now I think I am losing feelings: Thoughts?

My boyfriend and I have been together for ten years. He cheated on me all the time at the beginning of our relationship, even with a couple of my supposed best friends. He was always very apologetic and promised to change. I know I should’ve left at that point, but I was very insecure about myself and felt that was the love I deserved. Most of our relationship has been about doing whatever I can to please him. Fast forward to about eight years into our relationship; we have two kids together, a seven-year-old and five-year-old. We communicate well now, and he told me he was young and dumb, and he didn’t realize what he had, and now he does. It’s just this past year; I have been going through something emotionally where I just feel so broken. I feel so guilty, but I felt like his changing came too late. I don’t feel in love with him as much I did in the beginning. We have made a good life together. And our kids are comfortable where they are at right now. I really don’t want to disrupt their lives because of whatever I’m going through. And I feel like he’s changed finally, should I stay and give him another chance? Could I fall back in love with him? Or am I hurting him now? I just feel at a loss.

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I would take some time to figure out if it’s just a phase or if you really did fall out of love.

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Once a cheater, always a cheater. You should have ditched him 10 years ago. Sorry for being so blunt.

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I would maybe try a vacation without kids and try to see if you can in fact rekindle and give it a real chance. But agreed you should have ditched him long ago. But this is the bed you made so you gotta lay in it.

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So you stayed when he was being awful, but now that he’s doing good you want to leave? I think you kinda have stuff backwards. :joy:

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I feel like I could of wrote this but we have 6 kids , I love him but not the same way he treats me more like a live in maid and whatever I do everything for him and he does nothing in return but kids are happy and I don’t wanna upset them torn , it’s so hard I feel what you are going through ! He cheated a lot at the begging too I always think back to it too it plays on my mind but I’m too soft to say what I think :thinking:

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It’s normal for the love you feel for someone to change over time. Whether you want to be there though is something only you can answer. Talk to him. He may be feeling the difference in you and want to help rekindle the old feelings.

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Love changes over time, as do people. It’s inevitable. My advice is to go see a counselor to help sort through everything. It sounds like you’re stuck emotionally without knowing where you want to go and having another’s perspective can help. It sounds like you still want things to work, so don’t give up just yet unless you truly need to for your own emotional wellbeing.

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Mid life crisis, I feel you.

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Get rid of him. There are better men out there.

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"My boyfriend and I have been together for ten years. He cheated on me all the time at the beginning of our relationship, even with a couple of my supposed best friends. "

God you’re an idiot

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Love changes through all relationships with time. It’s time to evaluate yourself and feelings.

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Go to couples counseling, you have alot vested in this relationship now. You both need to establish what’s he’s done in the past,how you feel about it now and what’s going to happen going forward. If he won’t go and help you move past it. Go to a lawyer by yourself and a therapist by yourself. You need to figure out why it’s been ok for his behavior for 10 years but not now. If you don’t think it can saved a lawyer can help you craft a safe and financially safe escape plan. Good luck!

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Do what makes you happy, and what will make you happy in the long run. Bc what matters is that you’re a happy and healthy mother to your children. Your happiness matters too. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

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If he stopped cheating on you and these feelings came after that, then it could be that you are the kind of lady that likes a relationship when it’s a roller coaster and when a guy is cheating it keeps you very interested. I know a couple of people who only move out with the cheating treat you bad kind of guy and when with a good guy they immediately feel bored and out of love. It sometimes comes from feelings of inadequacy and feeling that you deserve a man who isn’t good. Or it could come from coming from a very dysfunctional family and you grow up equating such disfunction to love or see it as normal. So examine yourself and see that it’s not just a matter of getting bored once you off the roller coaster.

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Go to counseling for yourself. It sounds like you haven’t worked through it all by yourself, so get help for yourself. But you can’t stay if you can’t move on.

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Some women like being treated badly. You stayed when he was sticking his dick in your good friends…now that he has “straightened” up, and realized he was being an idiot, and is actually treating you decently, you want to leave. Seems to me like you need to reevaluate your life life decisions!! Just sayin.

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People will treat you the way you allow them to

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I’ve been with my man thirteen years i cheated in the beginning but i changed and we fell back in love he’s my best friend talk to him go on drives remember the good times

If he is a good spouse and father now and isn’t going behind your back, maybe look into marriage/couples counseling? Think about the pros and cons you guys have together. Think about what he doesn’t do anymore/why you feel like you’re not in love with him anymore. Ultimately, it comes down to your happiness. Don’t waste your time or his if this isn’t what you want anymore. Either way, there’s no right or wrong answer. You do what will make you happy and satisfied. Best of luck mama💜

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