My boyfriend decided he didn't want anymore kids: Thoughts?

So I’m almost 24 weeks pregnant with my second child. When my boyfriend and I got together, I told him I wanted a big family, and he was okay with it. He had 2 of his own, we got into a bad argument the other day, and now he’s saying he wants to get snipped and is telling me to either pick either him or having another baby but not with him because he doesn’t want anymore, so basically he’s telling me to pick him over having more kids because if I want them, he’s not gonna give them to me, I’m 23 years old, and I really think it’s unfair I have my whole life ahead of me, and I don’t think it’s fair to me to have to be forced into that type of a decision, he’s 28 btw, I love him a lot, but I shouldn’t have to throw away what I want to be with him considering he knew what I wanted before we even got together.


I would b like bye boy


So only what you want matters? Girl bye


He could change his mind and you could change boyfriends someday you never know what life has in store for you. I was on birth control for the last 15 yrs and I got pregnant on it last year at 43 yrs old. I’m 44 with an 8 month old and his dad took off to texas when I was 6 ms pregnant. My baby was a blessing though either way.


It sounds to me like this argument was good, because he told you how he really feels about having more kids. I wouldn’t push him. I think he’s right to give you that ultimatum if he doesn’t want more kids. It may sound mean, but it is actually the right thing. Thinking of having kids and then actually having them are 2 entirely different things. If he was being honest then he did y’all a favor. Decide which you want.


I’d drop the whole topic and let the anger die down. Y’all had an argument so typically not the best the time base decisions

If he’s giving you an ultimatum like this, he’s going to continue to do it throughout the relationship, which is manipulation. I’m not going to be the person to tell you to run like a lot of these people will, but I will tell you to consider if he is the right one for you and if you are willing to compromise on something that means a lot to you.


Never choose the person who gives you the ultimatum.


If he has 2 of his own and you have 2, that’s 4 kids and I’d consider that a big family. Depending on the ages of children, he might just be saying that now. He might change his mind in the future, or you might even change your mind after baby is here.


Don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions :heart:


I don’t know if he was just mad and that’s why he said it. But if he really doesn’t want more kids you need to listen to him. If the roles were reversed and you really didn’t want more kids and he left you because of it how would you feel. But if that’s how he truly feels and you can’t accept that then find someone else.


My first husband and I wanted a family, until we had a miscarriage and then he said he didn’t want any at all. I left, and now am on my 4th and last baby. I literally will never regret that decision. My kids are the best things ever


Everything you are saying you don’t think is fair, well he is probably thinking the same thing. 4 kids total is A LOT. I don’t think I blame him for wanting to be done. Especially in today’s world. I understand you only having 2 biologically of your own with him but again that still totals 4 and he probably wants to have some type of life at some point instead of only having children. I cant blame him for that. People make commitments about things all the time and end up feeling different later. It’s just life. If you are gonna be done with him over wanting more children well thats on you. If you genuinely had true love for the man and he has already given you TWO I would consider that pretty fair and respect his decision to be done. If that’s too hard on you then get going girl. Do what you gotta. Good luck either way.


My fiance and I have been together for 6 years. We knew we wanted a baby but after I had our son he said he was done. But we didn’t really try too hard to prevent another one. I got pregnant with our little girl last year and he was totally OK with it. We have both agreed that we don’t want anymore because I’m 36 and he’s 42. But for 4 years I kept saying I wanted another one and he said no …thankfully things worked out the way they were supposed to. If you love him and want to have a family with him talk to him. If not having more biological kids would be be open to adoption?

His body his choice, your desire, your choice. Leave.


Why are you so dead set on talking about ANOTHER baby after an argument while you’re still pregnant… check those hormones cuz you’re not the only one who matters
Let that man cool off


uhmmm he had 2 with someone and 2 with you… alot of mouths already… you a millionaire? just saying cause might be that he actually thinks ahead. schooling… clothing… alone! you have a big family… your stepkids and your 2 have together. you are 23! wait till they are older. your tune will lower.


Whatever you do, do not get sterilized. If he wants no more kids, than let him be the one to take the steps to prevent it. I got my tubes tied, because my ex husband didn’t want anymore kids. He had 1 from his first marriage, and I had one. We had one together and my tubes were tied the day after she was born. She was not even 2 months old, when I learned he had been having an affair throughout my pregnancy. Long story short, I remarried 7 years later to a man with no kids. It cost me $6000 to repair my ovaries. And, thousands more on unsuccessful infertility treatments. That one decision to make my ex happy, cost me thousands of dollars and a lot more tears.


Yea, I think you should wait to see how much money and effort 2 children take plus 2 step children, I’m assuming you have a relationship with them! Slow down


Kids mean more eto me I find another man plentybof them

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