My boyfriend doesn't get to see his son much: Thoughts?

my boyfriend and I have been dating over a year now and always run into the issue of not getting his son regularly… she will change her number and move (has done this more than twice) and then randomly call and offer him his weekend (when it’s convenient for her) and ofcourse more often since her abusive boyfriend moved out… he has gone to court three times now (upcoming a 4th) just for a judge to tell her to let him see him… he pays his child support on time and every darn month, and yet she keeps doing this over and over… last time the judge laid it down very simple that he gets his time and he here we are… we are about to go to court again (after recently getting engaged, good paying jobs, new house ect) I try to not step on toes or upset my fiance but it’s getting ridiculous… he trys to talk to her about it, but she is bipolar and screams and yells at him and their son (our son)… if the courts just do another slap on the hand we are going to be back in the same boat… I need advice on what to do and how to be there for him and our boy

13 Likes

I hope your fiance has documented every time he had to take her to court document document document he needs to take them all to court show them all to the judge and tell the judge nothing ever changes. He needs to tell them that she does the same thing over and over every time they tell her that he has a right to his child. And he needs to ask what he can do to make it where she cannot do that to him. But tell him not to give up on his kid. because in the end the kids going to know that his mom’s the one that keeps him away from his dad. I feel sorry for your fiance. My nephew went through the same thing. And didn’t get to see his kid for six and a half years. Until his kid asked her why he did not have the same last name as his younger brother and sister. Then she had to tell him what was going on and got in touch with his dad but that was six years later. It’s a shame.

There may be other things that previously happened that you are unaware of. It seems like it. In my experience, some men only tell their GIRLFRIENDS what will make them out to be the victim… they don’t tell what THEY did to cause the reaction… take the time to try and find out EVERYTHING. Don’t ask him and don’t ask her, because their answers will always be one sided… But in all honesty, none of this is any of your business. It’s between the parents and the court.

4 Likes

If she isn’t following a court order, you can involve the cops. They will go with your boyfriend to pick him up. Document every missed visitation. Documentation can be your best friend. Make sure you have all of this to take to court with you. Keep fighting and hopefully something will be done in your favor.

3 Likes

Hang in there it will get much better exspecially if she keeps doing that stuff. Smh. My husbands been raising um since birth by her choice but a year ago when he started making really good $ she wants full custody just so she can get the $800 a month in child support. Meanwhile she sends them with a diff person EVERYDAY! Girls cry to my husband n I. In process of going back to normal again.BMS now a days r soooo bitter it’s so sad. Who makes kids suffer like this!! If it’s not the mom caring for um SEND UM HOME TO THEIR HSE (dads).

Get a better lawyer. Your boyfriend needs to stand up and fight harder. If there are court ordered visitation times then your boyfriend needs to call police when she doesnt show up with the child and show officers the document. Sometimes they will help.

2 Likes

He can call the police and have them meet him at her place on the day he is supposed to get his son since she won’t give the child to him. She will have the right to still not give up the child even if cops are called, however it is documented and that paperwork can be taken to court as hard proof that she is not allowing him his time with his son. If she happens to not know that she can refuse to give the child up then it might scare her into giving him his son. Other than that you will have to keep going to court. Took my husband 5-6 years and about 6 times going to court to get 82% custody of my stepdaughter.

6 Likes

The best thing you can do is support your fiance in his attempts to be with his child. I’m sure you mean well but if you are the one spearheading the whole what do we do thing then you need to reevaluate him. A man that wants to be a good father will be on top of seeking legal counsel and being persistent in all the right ways rather than get his girlfriend or fiance to do it for him. Dont mean to be a dick but IMO actions speak louder than words.

6 Likes

You need to mind your own and he needs to do what is fit whether it be seeking sole custody etc … child is not yours it is theirs . He should be the one seeking advice or speaking to a lawyer .

9 Likes

Record everything!!! Every call she yells every text she curses every time he asks and she says no present that to the judge with a few witnesses and explain how it just keeps happening over again and he might get full custody if that is what you are aiming for

8 Likes

Record all phone calls with her, print all text messages, are y’all supposed to meet with her somewhere to pick him up? If so be there on time Everytime and take a photo showing the time and date. If it is somewhere you can buy something then do so and keep the receipt. Go after 50/50 custody or full custody. It sounds like that would be the best thing for y’all’s son

8 Likes

You really need to stay out of this. This is between him and the child’s mother only…plus the judge. A lot of people go through this…sooner or later things will change.

3 Likes

I would start checking into state laws. I would hire a lawyer n fight for custody. Start keeping track of stuff texts calls etc…and that way u have proof and then take her to court

2 Likes

Has he thought about filling for primary custody and having a psych evaluation done on her to see if she is actually fit to parent. I would strongly suggest he get a good family law attorney. Another question would he persue this if you were not around???

Have him call the police and go get his child with the police by his side. With court ordered papers in hand every time its his visitation time. After so many reports of having to need an officer to see his child. The judge will put her in jail for being difficult/ not complying with the court orders. She will be in contempt of court.

4 Likes

From what I have seen there are many steps to getting things right. Also from what I understand the best is to set up (court appointed or approved) visitation. If the mom doesnt bring child then its a documentable thing to bring to court or call police (but I think thats extream cases) keep a journal with date and time. (Text communication and Video record maybe) of drop offs and whatnot. (On time how late. Communication as to being late etc)

1 Like

Just be his support and listen don’t put your 2 cent cause this kid is seeing how his mama is treating him and eventually as he gets older he will see that no matter what his mama does to his dad when Dad was able to get him he was there kids are smart trust me js

2 Likes

Just support your boyfriend as he deals with all this. That’s all you can really do. He should just keep fighting

1 Like

Honestly, all he can do is keep going back to court. Save text messages and report Everytime she breaks them. All you can do is be supportive.

This post has a lot of jealous baby mommas on it and it shows :joy::joy:. Just keep fighting. Support your fiancé and don’t let her keep him from him. You don’t need to stay out of anything. It’s your life too. You signed up for this when you became engaged to him so he is going to be your child too. Good luck

30 Likes