My boyfriend doesn't help with the kids at night: Advice?

I need advice or help I guess I just had a baby almost two months ago I have a toddler that’s three and been with my bf for 5 years, and we live together, he’s going to school right now and I’m frustrated because he doesn’t wake up at all for the baby at night or don’t take turns he does help during the day of course with both and is a great dad but he says since he’s in school trying to better our life he says he needs his sleep he goes to school for 5 hours a day and I work part-time he pretty much says his sleep is more important because he’s trying to better our life. I’m pretty much fed up because I get no help at night he has to be at school at 7 I work at nine, and I still get them ready in the morning and take them to my moms to watch them like wtf I’m pissed and annoyed because of this


He needs to help at night.

Does he work and go to school?

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I have a partner who is the same I have a 2 year old and two 3 year Olds and he doesn’t help out with them either even on the weekends I know it’s very frustrating. I just get told it’s not his job cuz he works 5 days a week it’s my job because I’m mum.


I’d put the kids in the room/bed with him after he fell asleep and go sleep in another room. And IGNORE them all till the am when it’s time to get them ready for daycare/work. Doesn’t matter if he works in addition to going to school or not. He’s the FATHER. They’re his responsibility also. I would in no way accept an in home deadbeat :woman_shrugging:t4:


Welcome to the real world :earth_americas: lol men most of them cannot deal with that stuff sorry


My husband doesn’t help at night either but my husband also gets up at 3-4am every morning & works around 18 hour days. He does help on the weekends though or if he doesn’t have to wake early the next morning. Everything falls on me though house/kids wise because he is hardly ever home.
If your boyfriend is just going to school & not working & you are also working, then he most certainly needs to be helping at night or at least taking turns.


He won’t realise how much you do because I bet you’ll do everything even without his help. But get him to help in respect getting stuff ready for the next morning clothes for the kids lunches etc less pressure as it’s not immediate help but it will ease the stress for you. X

Bring thwm to my house ill help

Have him do the first feeding and diaper change and you can do the second feeding/diaper change.

My 2 month old wakes up around 2:30-3:30a and then again around 6:30a

But I’m breastfeeding and a stay at home mom. I pull all feedings/diaper changing.

He holds the baby when he gets home for maybe 30-60 min.

I was recovering from a c section with my second while my kids dad worked 13 hour days and he still took night duty every other night. No excuses, you didn’t make him alone you don’t gotta take care of h alone and that includes nights.


Try taking one kid each ! I have a one month old and a two year old and although my boyfriend doesn’t help much with the newborn (he’s breastfeed and extremely colicky) he does most everything for our two year old so I’m not overwhelmed. We just sat and talked about it and decided that would work best for both of us so we aren’t both run down. Sometimes I envy him because the toddler is at times easier than the baby but I think if you guys can talk and come to an agreement about who does what and when it will work better.0




He goes to school and can’t get up with the babe at night?? My husband works 13-14 hour shifts at a time and still gets up at night to help me. I have heart failure and he does what he can to help.


You’re supposed to be a team. No one is more important than the other. He’s going to school 5 hours amd working, I’m guessing and I understand that can he a long day. You are working part time and coming home to take care of the kids and home. Sounds to me you are both working hard for your family. You didn’t make these babies alone you shouldn’t be taking care of them alone. A family is gaining amd taking. Sometimes someone is giving more than the other but it all evens out. When someone needs help you help, t j.g ats what he isn’t understanding you feel overwhelmed and alone. Tell him how you are feeling. Talk to him figure it out together.


Sound like a classic case of a man thinking that just because your their mother you can do everything on no sleep. You need to sit him down and have a serious talk with him about you not being superwoman and you need to be able to sleep at night to be able to finction at work so you guys need to take turns getting up with the baby. If that doesn’t work then just start putting the baby in with him when he wakes up at night and forcing him to wake up and help you

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Tell him that you realize he needs his sleep but so do you. He needs to help out a little at night. Obviously not all the time but you both should be taking turns.

Sounds like a whiner! I worked a 40 hour a week job, got my Masters Degree, completed my Intership and took care of my daughter for 3 years during that time. Tell him to buck up.


My ex never helped with the children. He literally changed ONE diaper and said he would never do that again and he didnt.

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Poor excuse in my opinion. My boyfriend worked stupid hours when our son was a newborn , up until about 6-7 months ago! He always gets up and helps with our son , no matter the time! Yikes, idk how you put up with that bccccc I’d be putting soap in a pillow case and waking his ass up. :upside_down_face::upside_down_face::upside_down_face: