My boyfriend doesn't know if he wants to be with me since I cannot have kids: Advice?

My boyfriend and I have been together for quite some time now. We recently had a conversation about my possibility to not have biological children due to possible fertility issues. I suggested adoption if I can’t conceive, but he doesn’t know if he would stay in the relationship or not if he can’t have his own biological children. Idk what to do. I’m at a loss. Does anyone have suggestions on how to get through this? (I’m in Canada, but that doesn’t make much of difference fertility wise.)

46 Likes

The right man will stay and work around ways like IVF or a friend carrying your kids with your eggs and he’s sperm.

12 Likes

He’s marrying you- children or not…and if he’s not willing to take that slight chance in hoping you can have your own kids he’s not worth it…

11 Likes

Maybe a surrogate if it means that much to him & you two are that serious…?

1 Like

Honestly I would tell him to leave now before either of you waste anymore time
Breaking up is going to hurt but will hurt even more the longer you draw it out

17 Likes

Have the 2 of u thought about surrogacy? Still a biological child, just someone else carries for u. I’d maybe talk to ur doctor and see if surrogacy is a route to go down. Good luck

1 Like

I have pcos and fertility issues. I dont think that i could stay with a man who willingly said that to me because that isnt love thats selfishness.

It could also be him that’s the problem. Go to a fertility specialist and they can test him and you and help you conceive.

9 Likes

Is he open to surrogates/fertility treatments? If not then It’s best to cut ties now. The right man won’t care about infertility

8 Likes

This is why it’s very important to talk about this stuff before marriage. If he doesn’t want to stay there’s nothing you can do to really fix that. Just respect it and let it happen unfortunately. Glad you guys were each honest before

12 Likes

I was told I would NEVER have children because I didn’t “develop properly”. I now have two boys.

5 Likes

That’s a damb question! Read it over again. He doesnt want you for who you are but what he wants you to be! The right person will be more than willing to adopt or get a surrogate.

8 Likes

Respect his wishes and end the relationship. This would only create resentment to continue.

9 Likes

Obviously having his own children is really important to him, I would call it off now so you both have a chance to find someone better suited. He can find someone to marry and carry his children and you can find someone who is willing to work along side you in the life that you both want.

9 Likes

I’d dump him. If he can’t accept this he won’t accept other flaws down the road.

5 Likes

Salvage viable eggs for a surrogate.

1 Like

So I was told I couldn’t have kids…I knew my man wanted to have his own,so I told him to go find someone who could give him what he wanted… he never left. And I was pregnant the next month…don’t give up!

8 Likes

If having children is something he wants, you should both get fertility testing/speak to a doctor. If you are unable to have children of your own, unfortunately it’s best to allow him to find someone else, not just for him, but for YOU! Then you can find someone who is willing to go through hell or high water with you, and figure it out no matter what :heart: Sending so much love to you.

5 Likes

Depending on what the issue is there is always surrogacy, egg donors, ivf. Have a huge in depth talk. Don’t wait.

If he doesn’t want to be with you if you can’t have kids, why are you still with him? You are woth more than being a damn baby incubater