My boyfriend doesn't make me feel beautiful anymore and I found out he was cheating: Help?

My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year now, mostly a rocky relationship because I found out I was pregnant weeks after we got together, so being pregnant was a hardship on both of us especially with the changes and feelings I experienced throughout and him just not understanding how hard pregnancy can be, Well, we now have a 5 month old daughter together and she’s the light of our lives. Long story short, he created a month after she was born and away for work, and I didn’t cheat, but I was talking to another man because of how my boyfriend was making me feel (constantly degrading me, telling me I didn’t look pretty anymore, did anything nice with my hair or makeup or wear nice clothes, etc.). And yes, I regret it, but he made me feel horrible about myself. I can’t help accepting a compliment from another man when my man isn’t even going out of his way to make me feel beautiful anymore, especially after losing my confidence after having a c section. Well, to the point now, I was able to get into his facebook account, and what I’m seeing is him friending all these single women, maybe one or two women in relationships, but the majority of them are all single. He even talks crap about me with my sisters, making jokes back and forth with them about me not having an excuse to be tired because I only have one baby or that I’m just lazy because I spend all day in PJs, etc. and it’s more than just that, there are more hurtful things I see in their messages. Without daughter now in the picture, he’s a very caring father, and I don’t want to break our family apart because I “suspect” something going on with all these random friend requests, but I’m worried he’s cheating on me again because he’s friending all these random single girls that he’s mutual friends with. I’ve wanted to strike a conversation up with him about it and about the rude things he has said to my sisters about me, but I have honestly no idea how, especially not to give him a hint that I even have a way to get on his account. At this point, it’s driving me bonkers every time i look, and it upsets me every time I look at his messages, which isn’t very often. I don’t want to break up our family just because I have this weird feeling about him friending all these random women (because when I was first pregnant, he had a huge issue with me even being friends with a previous SO or even any of my just-guy friends or any guy I used to work it, etc. but I can tell you right now for a fact that I don’t go around adding a bunch of random men on here just because I have mutual friends with them.) Well, ladies, what am I supposed to do? Approach him about how I’ve been feeling about this and let him know I’ve seen his activity because I have a way to get on his facebook? Or do I just shrug it off and get over it without screwing things up if there isn’t anything to worry about? Because obviously, I shouldn’t have anything to worry about, but it just deep down bothers me that he’s adding these single women. I want our daughter to grow up with both of her parents together, and I really don’t want to jeopardize our relationship over nothing. Thanks again

25 Likes

Yikes :confused: definitely sounds pretty toxic…keeping together for the sake of your child isn’t really good enough reason for both of you to be unhappy and unstable. Your daughter will be okay, but you also have to take care of yourselves.

10 Likes

Honestly, I think it’s time to split. Sounds like a very toxic relationship.

3 Likes

Get rid of him. Ffs who allows a person to treat another person like that? Have some respect for yourself.

4 Likes

Bruh…really…get a dog

7 Likes

Talk to him about how you feel. Explain that you no longer feel beautiful and you would like him to help reassure you. Talk about your feelings with him. Can’t repair things if he doesn’t know it’s bothering you.

2 Likes

Break up. You’re invading his privacy and went to another man for attention. He is cheating. Neither of you are making it work so both of you should move on and coparent

13 Likes

Leave…again i only read the 1st sentence…leave!!!

U get what u allow u r better than that

1 Like

Follow your instincts - you see red flags then there are red flags…

3 Likes

It sounds to me there’s some major trust issues going on. Communication is key! If your both willing to make it work, talk to him and have him reassure you nothing is going on. If that’s not the case, and he is cheating, that’s not a stable place for a baby/kiddo. Use your best judgement.

3 Likes

Human rejection is God’s Protection…

1 Like

Sounds like a pos unreal !

If you’re questioning it. Then you already have the answer to your own question. Toxicity is not good for children. Give her a childhood she can remember not one she has to recover from

7 Likes

No one can tell you that your relationship is over but yourself. I personally could never handle a cheater. It’s a horrible thing to do to someone and it’s completely selfish. But relationships are 2 sided. You have to know how he feels, and he needs to know how you feel to work things out. And then both of you have to try.
Also smack your sisters. They should be your backup! I would stop talking to them until they learned a lesson.

6 Likes

Two happy homes are better than one toxic home. Sounds like it’s time to go ahead n part ways. It’d be best for your baby!

6 Likes

Get up everyday and get ready like your going out even if your not! Look beautiful feel beautiful think beautiful! Self care! When you glow… he won’t help but notice and if he doesn’t you’ll already be at the point of no return anyway!

7 Likes

Better for you and your bub to leave. Hes not worth it and tell him why

You’re both toxic for each other at the moment. And irresponsible. No birth control early on in the relationship, you need constant validation because of low self esteem, he has zero boundaries when talking to your own sisters (and you need to talk to your sisters about their lack of boundaries too) & both of your selfish attitudes have you seeking/ receiving support outside of the relationship instead of within. You need to build yourselves up individually before you can try to build each other or build the relationship. Focus on your own emotional health: stop going through his messages. What are your hobbies, etc? Take your baby & go for a walk, talk to your friends & family, catch up on their lives, go somewhere new… Life is so much more than just within the walls of your home.

17 Likes

Just because you have a baby with someone, doesnt mean it’s meant to be, or that is better to stay together for the kids!!

3 Likes